Have I left it to late at 42?

[milkysmum]

I'm coming to the end of a messy divorce, have two children age 13 and 10, work full time and really want to make a fresh start this year in so many ways. A couple of weeks ago I signed me and the children up to the gym, it's 5 minutes from the house and has great facilities. I'm already quite slim but physically not strong at all. People might have seen I did a spinning class the other week and was in absolute agony for a full 7 days afterwards! I have done a few classes ( mainly Pilates, lower level stuff..) and have been in the gym post induction a few times now. I would love to get into strength training but I literally struggle to lift more than a 3kg dumbbell! Is there really any hope? I'm trying to think out a realistic plan around full time work, the kids , I think I can get there quite a bit given how close it is but don't know how much gym to do compared to classes etc..
Has anyone embarked on a new regime in their 40's? I'd love to hear people's experiences.

Never too late! This lady started at 56.
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/ernestine-shepherd-80-year-old-bodybuilder-working-out-56-elderly-baltimore-gym-fitness-a7630806.html

God no you're a bairn. I'm 53 and am pretty strong. You'll be fit as ...in no time.

Thank you.
Would anyone be able to share with me what their week looks like exercise ( if you like doing a mix of gym and classes ). Not sure how much I should be aiming for really?

Not a gym goer but a runner and I only started at 45 in similar circumstances to you. The best thing about starting from zero is you’re only going to get better.

If it’s any comfort, I did a weights class last year and I could just about lift the bar without any weights on it. I thought I’d done some kind strain they were so sore after.
I’m currently considering a PT as I have great intentions about weights and gym, but don’t really know what I’m doing so talk myself out of it. Could you look at some sessions with a PT at your gym to get you going?

Seconding a PT, having someone show you correct technique and form is essential.

I do two PT sessions and two solo sessions in the gym, focussing on various strength training (this years goal is to do unassisted pull ups). I also do legs bums Tums, yoga and a pump class. Having a routine is great, I have a set of routines I do for 3 months before changing (all set by my PT).

The gym is my happy place and has been fantastic for my mental health.

I have been unfit almost all my life. I’m 45.
I got fit a few years ago and have kept it up. Keep going - the benefits have been life changing for me (particularly mental health).
I exercise at least 3 times a week. I don’t have a gym membership but do have a personal trainer - we meet weekly by zoom or in a local park. The trainer runs daily classes by zoom or outdoors in a park. I do at least 2 of these a week (first thing before work because that works for me).
I’m not self motivated so classes and PT are good for keeping me accountable. Over time I got to know and like the people in the classes and that helps too.
Keep going - I’m started partly because I hoped menopause (and beyond) would be a bit easier if I’m physically fit and strong. So far the biggest benefit by miles has been the improvement in my mental health - it was hardly noticeable at first but I feel less anxious and less sad than I did before.

Put it this way, 8 years ago exactly I was relearning to swim (long story) at 41. My total stretch target was to swim 500m freestyle and I could literally swim 5m at that point. This year, I'll be swimming 14km down a river. You can totally do it, just start smaller - 1.5kg dumbell, go for a fast walk, whatever. Its like when I learnt to run, I found I'd always tried to run run and then failed and said 'oh, I just can't run'. But slow it right down, take walk breaks, and I went from never runner to 5k, and eventually to a marathon.

It's never too late. I know someone who got a black belt in a martial art at 70. Had never done any exercise at all until 67.

I started in my 50s and now train calisthenics (push ups, pull-ups etc), run (slow and short) and do a park bootcamp. I need at least one rest day a week. Usually 3/4 strength sessions, one bootcamp (hiit), a run or two (I double up strength and run days). Occasional Pilates at home, and lots of walking, neither of which I count for rest day purposes.

I second suggestions of getting a PT for strength if you can manage it. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much about what other people do - with your schedule, you need to find what will work for you, and it may be a compromise. I would find some classes you really enjoy at a time you can make, then see what gaps there are (strength, HIIT, steady cardio etc) and try to make sure you have a good mix overall. Start by making sure you are meeting the NHS guidelines for weekly exercise, and then focus on building a happy healthy routine.

Not at all ! I'm 46
I started In august , I literally could hardly hold a 2 kg dumbbell and couldn't even move just the bar on bench press . I'm also fairly slim but no strength or fitness and my diet was dreadful .
Not going to lie it's been a slog ,some days the DOMS are killers ....I found myself an amazing PT and am also working towards unassisted pull ups ( am really really close to this now too !)
The gym is now my happy place and I fear for what would have happened to my mental health if I hadn't found strength training as I was really on a downward spiral of anxiety .
Give it a try make a commitment for a few months , understand sometimes it's seriously hard work and you will have to make yourself go ..... then enjoy the rewards of feeling great and being able to pick heavy things up

So helpful hearing people's stories! I gave up drinking for new year ( had noticed a steady increase and over reliance with this as a way of coping which wasn't good at all..) got through dry January and am sticking at it for now.
Trying to clean up the diet ( veggie so should be pretty healthy, but always the case..)
So it sounds like for now I might just try different classes, see what I like and try and improve my overall fitness. Maybe next month try a PT session to look at a more focused gym session. I fancy trying body pump class but a bit worried I won't manage this- anyone know if it would be suitable for beginners or if I should wait a bit?

I do body pump. I'm 52. I'm on the smallest weights there are but building up slowly and try and go 2 times a week as well as a Pilates class. I started in Jan after nearly 2 years of no exercise because of Covid - I find it hard to motivate myself without a class to go to. The first time it really hurt for 4 days after but it's not been like that at since then and I'm starting to add extras. It's not full of muscle men and women thankfully!

TBH body pump would have killed me I was that unfit and throwing myself around in a class isn't my thing ( could be yours though ? )
I would go and try , you can always sit some stuff out if it's too much for you in the beginning . Lots of beginners go at my gym .
Really depends what you want out of training ? I'm purely strength training , I love the iron and the solitude of lifting alone headphones in and I can switch my mind off , I do very minimal planned cardio but I do walk my dog daily and also some yoga on rest days
Try some classes , find a good PT who can teach you great lifting form and see what you enjoy

I’m a bit evangelical about it now but couch to 5k is brilliant for getting generally fit. I never in my life thought I’d be a semi competent runner before doing it.

If you can afford a block of sessions with a pt, that would be worth doing before body pump to give you a really good idea about form. My pt (back in the day) would often talk about body pump building bad habits or even injuries if you’re not really careful about keeping the right position. If it’s a decent sized class, it can be hard for an instructor to correct everyone.

Body combat is my absolute favourite. If they run that, definitely give it a go for a few classes to see if it’s your thing too.

I’m also a big fan of Pilates which will make you ache in random places but you’ll see the benefit.

People don’t often talk about Zumba or dance style classes on here. I love them. I’ve got no rhythm at all but I just love a thumping beat and really going for it as if you’re in a music video.

It sounds like you’ve made some really positive changes-really well done.

No way is it too late. I got the bug as an obese 48 year old. I'm now 53, a healthy weight, fitter than I have ever been and totally adore weight lifting and boxing.

Of course you haven't. Becomming a dedicated lifter takes consistency and patience. We all have a starting point and can build strength levels by pushing ourselves out of what is comfortable. I tell myself "it's as light as a feather" when I lift what is not so comfortable amounts, it's always a case of convincing my mind I can do it because my body rarely fails me.

Oh and I started lifting at 33. I had diastasis recti after our twins, 5 kids to work around and was diagnosed with osteoarthritis then too. I've trained through most of a pregnancy and was back in the gym 10 weeks post c-section (baby now 6mth). I had 3 months off and my knees felt horrendous, 1 week back in the gym and they felt so much better (well after the DOMS settled 🤣).

Look up train with Joan. She only got fit and started doing weights as a pensioner

Yes I have and of course it’s possible.

Book a weights induction with one of the trainers and revisit every six weeks or so.

I started at 56. I love it. I'm not very strong. I still just use 5-7kg handweights and 8-10kg kettlebells but I do 3-5 1-hour workouts per week.

Feeling strong physically has an incredible uplift mentally. I started to feel much stronger and more positive in my mindset too. I just felt... strong, capable, active, more daring and confident. Lifting freeweights is one of the best things I have ever started to do.

Thank you everyone. I'm definitely enjoying finishing work and taking the kids down to the gym rather than wasting the evenings sat in front of the TV. Last night I tried a legs, bums and core class whilst they did a junior squash coaching class ( they've never played squash but like me are just trying out different groups- they quite liked this one!)
By they end of this month I'm hoping I've worked out what we like, and what we don't like, and we can figure out a weekly plan that is realistic for us to stick at longer term.

Sounds great OP! But don't get too fixated on a routine. Sure, have goals, but enjoyment is more important. For example, I get board easily, so find that changing up my classes/workouts frequently works best for me. As long as I do something at least 3 times a week I am happy

Absolutely not too late, I started out at 48 using 2 & 3kg and now use 10kg dumbells & a 12kg kettlebell and am looking to go heavier. Never set foot in a gym but find something you enjoy or at least hate the least haha. I'm not a fan of cardio but do have a treadmill and rowing machine which both help getting the heart rate up. Its addictive once you get into a routine :)

Body Pump is a great way to start weight lifting. You get shown the moves and you do it with very light weights until you get the form right.
You would get quicker and better results with a PT led heavy weight lifting program, but I think Body Pump is great as an in between option. There is no dancing around like in some classes and the moves are relatively easy to learn.
We generally have one new person in class each week.

I started running at 46 with Couch to 5k and joined the gym at 51. I run 3 times a week, doing about 30km a week, and 2 body pump classes a week.

Body pump is brilliant, you can start with really light weights and build it up gradually and there's an instructor to follow. I'm not very good at planning my workout so going to pump means I just turn up and do it! And the playlists are generally really good.