What do you think helps people to age well?

[Fraudornot]

We are dealing with elderly people in their 80s - is decline inevitable or do you think there are things we can do to live a healthy very older age? Mobility and strength seems key but can it be maintained into 80s and 90s?

Thinking and planning ahead. Swallowing your pride, being realistic. Downsizing, buying in help and care as needed, adding adaptations to the home etc, and doing it all in good time rather than waiting until it’s a struggle!
As an ex district nurse, I’ve seen so many hospital admissions caused by preventable falls or unsafe living.
Ageing and its associated frailties are not a surprise.
Keep active and don’t smoke.

I line dance with many older ladies, some of them nearing 90, they are a little slower and their movements are smaller but they keep going, even to some of the really fast dances too.

A couple of them have had hip and knee operations as well.

They're brilliant! Hope I'm that good at their age.

Being fit and active for the majority of your adult life, with a dusting of good genes. You can’t usually outrun a bad diet or laziness.

I imagine for women taking hrt as well, not just for bone health, but it reduces brain fog etc.

I have DPs and ILs in their 80s and I would say from my observations of how they are aging there are three four things that are really important:

• regular exercise
• regular social interaction
• remaining engaged/interested in life and what is going on in the world
• ETA keeping on top of health problems and getting treatment where necessary.

My mum is 87, walks for an hour or much more if she has company, every day, reads novels in English and her native language, pays attention to world events, has a house with two flights of stairs (as a PP said, it’s vital to keep climbing stairs. My mum advised us not to downsize to a bungalow, as all her friends who had had lost mobility.) When she sees our toddler grandson, she plays with him, kicks a ball around. She eats frugally (is actually a bit too thin now), rarely drinks alcohol. she is fit as a flea, a little cognitively impaired and going deaf, but otherwise independent.
I compare her to my brother and SIL, in their sixties, who drink a lot, smoke cigs and dope all day, and do no exercise whatsoever. My SIL had a heart attack 6 years ago, but has not changed her lifestyle (e.g. lights up first thing, starts on the red wine at midday), my brother is heading that way. They may live a long life too, thanks to NHS medication, but what a life it would be in comparison to our mother’s. They cannot walk half a mile to the local pub without gasping (and they don’t want to go anyway, because you would have to go outside to smoke).
It’s not just about longevity, it is about good quality of life too.

Keeping up social interactions with others. My mum was active when younger, but not so much in her 80s, but she lived to be 93. She maintained a circle of friends (of all ages) and organised and participated in lots of social functions with them.

My dad went to the gym twice a week until 88 when COVID hit. He never got back again. My mum died in 2022 and he lost loads of weight then he put it back on and was pretty active but stopped gardening.

He then developed epilepsy out of the blue at 92 and is getting frailer.

A care of the elderly doctor said that these octo and Nono generians are great until they're not great. Things can happen quickly and unexpectedly. Dad's 94 now and still living independently at home. But quite frail and doesn't really go out alone now.

It's mostly genetics and luck

I work with all adults over the age of 18 but mostly older people and work with many people well into their 80s and 90s who are heavy smokers or drinkers and still going strong, and also many who pass away in their 70s despite having the same issues.

I can also work woth younger people in their 40s 50s and 60s with primary progressive MS, MND or who have had massive strokes despite being non drinkers/non smokers or marathon runners/ Sunday rugby players.

I would say though overdoing anything too much (whether that's food/alcohol or exercise) usually impacts on life quality eventually down the line but not necessarily always on life quantity.

We don't get many people living long lives if their issue is street drug use though, that's the one exception to the genetics/luck rule.

Engaged in your community, physically and mentally active, don’t smoke, keep your alcohol intake to once a week or less, eat simple food and don’t chuck a ton of salt onto it, don’t haunt or avoid doctors, see your dentist.

Has avoiding refined sugar been added?

My mum lived to 97 and her mind was sharp as a tack until the end. She lived frugally: bread and cheese, fish and veg. Little alcohol and no sweets) sugary stuff apart from ( homemade) marmalade.

She also had strong church family relationships and read the Bible every day. It's only just occurred to me that trying to convince people to become Christians was probably what kept her going for so long!

Totally agree re making yourself do as much as you can, even when it gets harder. Some of my work involves older people and those who are still doing what they can (even when it’s painful) are fairing much better overall than those who have given up and decided they are ‘too old’ to do XYZ. Once in their 80s, the majority of people will have at least some pain and health issues, the majority will be on some sort of medication. But those who still cook for themselves, walk their dog, use the stairs in their home are overall doing much better than those who are in a chair most of the time.

@AwksButI don’t think you assign the desire to be alive as a factor in when people die. It’s fairly offensive to suggest those who have died young/younger did so because they weren’t bothered about living longer.

To add, I also teach exercise classes and have an 88 year-old woman in one of my classes. It’s a regular fitness class, not over 50s or beginners. I also have a participant in his 70s who has Parkinson’s. He lifts heavy weights and does yoga- he’s absolutely amazing and his Drs are very encouraging of his exercise efforts as they believe this will be a big help for him as his disease progresses. It’s a cliche but ‘Use it or Lose it’ is very true.

Minimal recklessness.
Everything in moderation.
Having something to live for.

My friend is an OT and she recommends NOT getting a bungalow as going up and down stairs is important to balance and movement. Obviously there may be a time when it's impossible then get a stair lift but don't move to a bungalow when you can still do stairs.

Being sociable - church, U3A, family. Embracing technology. Singing. Doing puzzles. Walking.

My parents are in their late 70’s and haven’t slowed down a bit. My mum has a trainer twice a week, volunteers one full day a week, has her book club, plays bridge at least twice a week, they eat out several times a week, still entertains, picks up my nephew from school once a week and goes to the theatre, cinema and exhibitions all the time

my dad is similar, he doesn’t have a trainer but has a walking group with his friends, he’s very involved with the committee of his faith space, he is trustee of 2 charities and also volunteers giving financial advice for a charity. Obviously he also does the exhibitions theatre cinema etc etc with my mum

they also travel loads, like proper travelling not going to a hotel and sitting there. They go anywhere from Europe to China / Japan / india all touring around

I’m hoping they get at least another 10 years of doing this.

Personality and attitude together with a good disposition i.e. no depression. Add in being active for even a small part of every day, and having an interest in something. If able to travel do it.

BTW that's me at 70, single now and I do have some health issues which I accept as my fate and lean into it. My peers are settling for sedentary living and that's fine, but they never stop complaining! 😊

People in my family live well into their 90s or die at about 70. The main things I noticed with my relatives who lived long lives (and maintained decent independence) was that they walked a lot, had community, and had regular commitments (social and also work).

Everyone in my family who has lived a long time has been a walker and or had a very physical job. My grandad used to insist on walking round the perimeter of his farm every day until he died in order to “secure” it. I’m not from what you would consider an “active” family - we don’t do sports or run, but we all walk basically everywhere, and my older relatives who are retired will walk to their volunteer jobs and social arrangements. My Nan used to tell me off when I would drive to her house (40 min walk) 😭.

Also all the old timers in my family have popping social lives. Could not leave the house with my grandad without him seeing one of his pals, either from the charity shop he worked at or from one of his clubs he attended. Always had to stop and chat to everyone, all the time. Considering he smoked and drank heavily as did all my grandparents, it is a wonder they lived so long.

I currently run in my 60s but I probably won’t be able to do it forever so interesting to see how walking plays a key part