What do you think helps people to age well?

[Fraudornot]

We are dealing with elderly people in their 80s - is decline inevitable or do you think there are things we can do to live a healthy very older age? Mobility and strength seems key but can it be maintained into 80s and 90s?

Definitely walking and swimming and gentle to medium exercise, preferably at least one of them daily. I am fitter than my DH by a country mile, as I walk 3 to 4 miles a day - fast walking, and can easily scale 130-140 stairs without even getting out of breath. He can't tackle 25 stairs without stopping for 5 minutes as he's out of puff.

I am very active - walking, swimming, doing all the household chores and shopping and gardening. DH's favourite pastimes are sitting on the computer and watching TV. He sleeps about 30% more hours than me too. He works 28 hours in a very sedentary job. Just sits down for 90% of the time there. My job only involves sitting for half of the 18 to 20 hours a week I do.

Regular exercise in older people (50 and older) is essential for good ageing, and not being immobile by the time you are 70.

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It's genetics and luck, I reckon.

My DF's nursing home is full of elderly people who lived full lives - well educated, fit, good diets, sporty, well-travelled etc. Now either physically frail or even worse, physically fit but lost to dementia.

I spent a week with my 97 year old aunt in her sheltered accommodation earlier this year. I had lunch with her other elderly resident friends regularly too and it made me reflect on why she was aging so particularly ‘well’. Here are my thoughts:
Life long dancer and still doing exercise classes

speaks 3 languages and regularly practices them

mainly vegetarian, high fibre diet

but mostly, a curious mind and a general optimism. Curious about others and the world and a readiness to laugh even when the shit hits the fan.

A lot of its pure genetic luck.

Otherwise I'd say people who are chilled out, take things slowly, lack anxiety tend to continue onwards for a long time.

Also as pp have said, very determined people also can live a long time. By that i mean they have a system, they do exercises (often self-devised) daily to keep themselves in shape.

Three things help:
Not getting ill from cancer/heart disease/dementia or other life limiting disease
Being physically active and maintaining a healthy weight
Bring engaged with family/community.

Luck.
My mother walked, swam, lifted weights, played sport, worked in a physical job until 65. She was active in the community, volunteering etc. Speaks two languages.
She was always a healthy weight and ate a good diet, didn’t smoke.

Didn’t stop her acquiring a brain condition which affected her mobility and memory and getting Alzheimer’s on top.

Genetics are the base of longevity (thinks of someone I know from exercise class who looks the same as he did 30 years ago and is still doing full press ups in his 80s) but you can't go back in time and pick new parents!

That aside, exercise, socialising, sleep and a good diet don't hurt.

Making an effort to enjoy what you do have is never going to be bad, though, is it!

I play tennis and pickleball. There are women in their 80s still playing most days. Even playing in league matches in the teams. They’re pretty inspirational. Hoping I’m still playing at their ages.

I think the physical mental and social aspects of racket sports are very beneficial as people age.

Language learning is an interesting one - I’ve heard that a few times.

I think these are spot on and can stack your chances of living healthily and well.

That said, I don't think there's any way you can always outrun your genes, and I've also noticed that once people get to mid-eighties, they often plummet fairly rapidly into increasing frailty or cognitive decline or both, even if they were bounding around in their early eighties. By 90 odd, your chance of having dementia and/or mobility issues is pretty high, even if there are exceptions to this rule. My gran was up ladders at 82; by 86, she seemed far older than just four years on, and it was a bit downhill at that point.

The socialising thing is interesting!

I have a very elderly aunt who has just turned ninety who lives to garden and paint with oils.

She absolutely loathes socialising 😆

She has only just agreed to having a cleaner come twice a week and that’s only because she doesn’t chat and will go in to town on her behalf and buy more painting supplies, again so she can avoid the interaction in the shop!

Genetics, followed by excellent childhood nutrition and a life with limited trauma.

Some people who were in concentration camps or survived active service in both World Wars have stayed alert and active into their 90s but they really are anomalies. Someone who was born into an impoverished family, then went on to heavy factory work and/or birthed & raised many children in difficult circumstances, is far more likely to decline in late middle age and die in early old age.

My aunt told me she was very happy they decided to keep their large family home with stairs. She said for those friends that had downsized to bungalows, now really struggled with any stairs when out and about as they’d simply lost the ability. It really made me think.

My grandmother aged very well as she was so active daily. Not in the traditional exercise sense but always went out walking, got out at least once a day, did her own housework, cleaned her own windows inside and out etc and generally puttered around and led a very active and full life.

Keeping busy and having a purpose is what I’ve noticed. My own parents aged 10-15 years after retirement as they didn’t do much, my mum doesn’t like exercising or walking.

I knew someone live to 100 they were active / picking up grand kids from school and still walking loads aged 70.

Met a lovely lady in costa and she had plans every day which she said kept her young.

I think daily exercise and something social to keep your mind processing

My godmother is 89, walks daily, has always kept a pet, cooks and eats home cooked food, healthy weight, sees friends, chats on the phone all the time. Doesn’t drink and gave up smoking decades ago. Shows no sign of decline thankfully.

My mum, had a really busy, active healthy retirement. Travelled the world well into her 70s, ate well, healthy weight, played badminton, did ballroom dancing, active role in her grandkids life, very sociable. Didn’t drink and gave up smoking decades ago…then was struck Alzheimer’s at 75, rapid decline, died at 79.

So…luck to a degree. Doing all the right things doesn’t guarantee life beyond your 80s. Doing all the wrong things doesn’t guarantee early decline, but you’ve got to do what you can to stack the odds in your favour.

I agree with pp that there's a lot of luck involved. My overweight grandma lived to 91 and was in pretty good shape until the last year or so. Out of my parents' siblings and their partners, the first to die was my aunt who had a very healthy diet and taught yoga!

Having said that, I agree that lots of walking and keeping up with their interests has worked very well for my parents.

Yep, luck. The older you get, the clearer this becomes, as your family and friends are picked off at random.

My mum is 82 and only starting to slow down. My dad died about 20 years ago and she’s done a brilliant job of making a full life. She worked until 76, 5 days a week, she only retired as she was made redundant in Covid as the company closed.

She has a massively active social life, structured around church, bingo, dancing and has always been vain, so has watched her weight her whole life, but has always been more ‘sturdy’ than slim. She walks every day with her neighbour and gets the local free newspaper for ‘the old people’ on her road. She’s never been a smoker and has the odd glass of wine.

In many ways she is my inspiration of how I would like to age but she does have a tendency toward pneumonia, she has had it at least 6 times and been hospitalised once for it. She has a bit of health anxiety, she’s always getting something looked at and it’s always a cancer fire drill (throat, breast, kidney, skin are the ones lately) but she is on no medication and looks about 10 years younger. I think it’s hard not to obsess about your health as you get older though, so I try to be understanding without taking any new ‘symptom’ too seriously.

She comes from a line of long living women, who all smoked and drank and had difficult lives and lived well into the 90s. I am hoping that’s going to counteract my dad’s dodgy genes - he was 1 of 8 and all but 2 died before 60, my dad made it to 62. I’ve got 1 uncles still going. I think it’s luck and you can get a bit luckier by staying fit and active and eating reasonably well.

Luck. And genes (which is also luck I guess).