I dunno, I do think it’s partly because we as a society do tend to stick to gender roles.
when women have kids, how many then choose to go pt or give up work? How many women would “allow” or even consider their partner becoming a sahd or reducing their hours?
posts here are almost exclusively women as the sah or pt parent. Discussions are always around the pros and cons of the woman’s decision. It is never, or very rarely, suggested that dad takes on a bigger role at home.
so when it comes to elderly care, the set up already exists. Man is out at work ft, and it’s the woman who has the flexible or part time job, or is at home full time and is more able to take on those responsibilities.
when mil became ill, it happened that dh was working PT and doing the bulk of the parenting while I worked ft. So it fit into his day much better, between school runs etc. I simply wasn’t around to be dragged into it.
if women as a class want to stop being shafted with caring responsibilities, we need to take that into account when we choose to become financially dependent on a man in exchange for providing care and support at home.
not saying this is you o/p, just musing generally.