Giving up council home to move back in with sick mum

[MrsBCup]

My mum is 66 and had an eye operation to remove cataracts that went wrong so she has very limited sight now and struggles. I'm 27 with two children and I'm having to spend a lot of time staying at hers to help. I would say I'm only sleeping at mine one night a week.

The kids have their own bedroom at mums and I have a bedroom.

Would it be sensible to give up my council flat to move back in with mum full time until she's better and then private rent as I'm guessing I won't get another council place?

It depends how long her recovery will take. Does she rent too? Can you live with her permanently? I wouldn't give up a council tenancy in a hurry.

Part of your council tenancy will have minimum days in the property to stop people renting them and not living in them

She owns her home and we're still waiting on an operation date to try and get it fixed which they have no idea how long that'll take.
That's why I'm making sure I stay there at least once a week so that it's not left unattended for a length of time x

I wouldn't give up a council flat if I could avoid it but if you are only there one night a week for the long term I don't think it's fair for you to keep it.

Are you an only child and does being at your Mum's house work for you long term ?

Never give up your council flat.
Could your mum come to you for a little while? If you lock up her house securely it should be ok. You could even get a house sitter.

Don’t give up your flat. It would be better if your mum came to you. Do you have space?

Renember, if your mum needs care in the future, she will be forced to sell her house. You and your children will have no right to stay there. Don't give up your children's home.

Unless your going to permanently move in with your mother don’t give it up and don’t tell anyone your not there either. Try and get over there as much as possible so neighbours see you.

Your mum needs help - but you also don’t want to put your self in a position where your children could be potentially homeless.

In your position I wouldn't give up the security of the council housing at this time. If your mum were older and this would be a permanent situation then maybe it would make more sense if you moved in permanently and there were agreements in place that assured you'd have a secure home in the future. But atm though it maybe many months until further surgery I would be awaiting this.

Don't give up the security of your home.

Don't give it up! We've been privately renting for six years and can't afford a mortgage - it's a financial killer!!! We'd never get social housing though.

Watch out on MN though - I'm pregnant and although we both work ft on low incomes apparently I'm wrong for even having considered a third child (my fiancé's first).

I think a lot of people on here are pretty wealthy so don't really understand how it is to be less financially well-off or to be without a partner, not least a high-earning one. I was a lone parent for years and it's incredibly hard.

Good grief no. Don't even think about it. Your mum is relatively young, and hopefully the future operation will improve things so she can be independent again. Then you'd have no security at all. The difference between having a secure council home and private sector renting its vast.

Definitely do not give up your council flat .

You will never have that security in your home in private rental, and costs will be much higher.

The only way you should do this is if your Mum adds you to the deeds of her house as co-owner. Actually gives you half the house, and you live there permanently. Then they cannot require the house to be sold for her care.

I assume your kids are not yet at school?

If she can’t cope Your Mum should have been sent home from hospital with an Enablement Care Package: carers visiting up to 4 times a day.

Did the hospital make a mistake in her first operation? Have you looked into a compensation claim? She shouldn’t have been left without sight and sent home unable to cope.

Get her to call her council’s adult services department.

Don't give it up OP . As PPs have stated , and yourself, its highly unlikely you will get another in the future

Can a sister or friend or relative stay with DM a few nights a week so you and your DCs can stay there those nights .

Thank you so much for a kick up the backside and helping me to see sense! Unfortunately my other siblings live quite far away and we don't have any other family nearby. Add into the mix mum has a number of pets that couldn't come and live with me we've found ourselves in this predicament!

I am on the list for a transfer but god knows how long that'll take.

OP: what would your Mum do if you couldn’t do this? If you lived a bit too far away and had to get your kids to and from school?

Is your Mum putting a lot of expectation on you? Can you set her up to manage with less help?

How long ago did she come out of hospital? The NHS are responsible for providing up to 6 weeks care package, and then SS if more is needed beyond that.

Her GP should be able to assist and advise.

Yes, we all want to help our family, but you should not be in a position of jeopardising your own kids’ security.

In my family son moved into moms house full time and she put his name on the house and when she died he became sole owner it's in her will her other sons get nothing

Can you contact the Council and explain the easily provable extenuating circumstances?

Slippery, that only works if the parent doesn't need a care home. It is a gamble.

Dont give it up

Also how sustainable is this plan - please see what outside helo you can access as well

OP, your mum should never have been discharged without a care plan in place. What if you weren't there?
Also, your siblings need to look at taking a turn.
I used to travel 300 miles to take my dad to hospital appointments. No choice.

Don’t give it up. Your mum is relatively young. Could she not contact social services/gp and see what support she can get?
I’m not making assumptions and this may not be relevant to you but please be aware that if you are claiming housing benefit/council tax, and are found to not be living there, they will be stopped/you will be be investigated. Just something to bare in mind if you have neighbours that are likely to inform authorities/landlord

Slippery, that only works if the parent doesn't need a care home. It is a gamble

There are all sorts of ways that it can be made to work, especially now, 20 years or so before a care home might be needed, but none should be embarked on without advice and careful thought.

Yes my Dad does a 200 mile round trip every Saturday to see and help his 95 year old mum and does the same for appointments etc. Your siblings can help. She has also been nearly blind for 10 years and has learnt strategies to cope - indeed she only left her own home 2 years ago

And there should be a care plan as well with outside care coming in if not please get one

Can a trusted friend or family rent out your council place whilst your mum gets better, just to maintain the property. Then you can move back in without giving up your home.