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Original poster

Am fuming - private school thread

55 replies

Sorrento · 02/05/2009 20:17

A conversation I've just overheard from a neighbor (i know, i know) she intends to send her child to the local private school knowing she cannot afford the fees and intends to apply for financial assistance in the Feb is this likely to work or will the child be chucked out ?
I'm not sure whether to admire the audacity or be shocked at the cheek of her.

OP posts:

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:18

Why shouldn't she have what others with more money have?

Original poster

Sorrento · 02/05/2009 20:20

Well it's almost stealing I would say, she knows she can't afford it and yet is going to emotionally blackmail the school into providing her with something that others are paying for.
There's a perfectly good state option available for everybody else who can't afford private schools.

OP posts:

Metella · 02/05/2009 20:21

Well, I can't imagine how that will work. Surely the school will just ask her to remove the child if she can't pay?

Sidge · 02/05/2009 20:22

She can try it but she's chancing her child's education a bit, as there's no guarantee she'll get financial assistance. Bursaries aren't just given out willy-nilly to parents who can't quite manage the fees and certainly won't be 100% of the fees.

Metella · 02/05/2009 20:25

If it is primary level it is highly unlikely that there will be bursaries available.

If it is secondary level why doesn't she just apply for a bursary up front like everyone else? I don't understand her thinking.

myredcardigan · 02/05/2009 20:25

I can't imagine any parent taking the risk of having to disrupt their child half way through the year if the gamble doesn't pay off. If the school is over-subscribed they may just ask her to leave. If she will qualify for financial assistance in Feb why isn't she appying for it now?

tiggerlovestobounce · 02/05/2009 20:27

I doubt that this would work any better than being honest about things and applying for a bursery in the first place.

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:27

Maybe there is not a perfectly good state option, something you wont hear me saying very often.

Metella · 02/05/2009 20:27

She must think the school is desperate for pupils!!!!

pagwatch · 02/05/2009 20:28

I think she is foolish but I can't say I care especially.
I would not do what she is doing because i would not risk putting my child through a number of school changes - if her gamble does not work her child will be asked to leave. not the most helpful thing in a childs school life...
I suspect that in many schools there will be pupils in each year whose parents are finding things tight. I suspect ifthe school is in a position to offer assistance it will be to the pupils who have been there the longest or who have siblings etc.

Pearls -I don't really get your arguement. I really like a marc jacobs bag I have seen - do you think the shop will let me have it. Why shouldn't I have it just because I can't afford it

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:28

I agree tigger particularly as lots of people may find themselves not being able to afford the school place.

I dont think it is a smart move but I dont think it makes her the devil incarnate.

AMumInScotland · 02/05/2009 20:29

I'd say it's very unlikely to work - any money the school is able to spend on bursaires is likely to go first to children in later years who would be more disrupted by having to change at that stage, particularly ones who have been there for a number of years. If it's Secondary, they'll be more likely to help out ones who are studying towards exams. In her case, I'm sure they'll tell her to transfer to the state system, which she'll be doing at a stage when the "preferred" state schools in the area are already full. Daft of her really.

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:31

I think there is a slight difference between a bag and a child's education. If I dont have a marc jacobs bag no harm is done. However if my child gets a crap education ( which she wont because there are lots of good state schools on our doorstep and I suspect that is the case for most people) that could hold her back for life or a good proportion of it anyway.

Metella · 02/05/2009 20:31

I agree, AMumInScotland - I really don't think this person's plan will work and she will find herself with a school she doesn't want.

Swedes · 02/05/2009 20:32

The bursaries aren't limitless. If she needs one then she has as much right to it as anyone else doesn't she. What she probably doesn't realise is that she might get a bursary right from the outset. Independent schools are not at all sniffy about bursaries, they genuinely want to offer their education to some of those who are bright but can't afford it.

pagwatch · 02/05/2009 20:33

But in this instant both are only available at a certain price...

( I say in this instance !)

I am not discussing whether that is right or wrong. It is simply the realisty of this situation.

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:34

pagwatch are you saying that if you are poor you should make do with a crap education. I am sure you are not. As I said I dont think the plan is wise or will even work but I can understand why some people ( often misguidedly - is that a word?) feel they would have to do this.

The press seems to be full of articles at the moment saying that state schools are dens of iniquity and your lovely little cherub is only likely to leave with an NVQ in knife crime.

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:36

Sorrento could you not advise your friend to just apply for a bursary. Is there a specific reason why she is dead set against not using state schools?

pagwatch · 02/05/2009 20:38

I am not saying that at all.
I hoped that when i said "I am not discussing whether that is right or wrong." it was obvious that I am making no moral comment at all.
Perhaps it wasn't.

i am simply suggesting that it probably won't work. And that the arguement that everyone should be allowed to go ignores the bleeding obvious that the school is fee paying so it simply doesn't work like that.

Original poster

Sorrento · 02/05/2009 20:39

I think she just thinks she's being clever and got one over the school she wants to use.
We have grammar schools locally but it almost as if she thinks her child deserves more, didn't meet the criteria for the scholarships so she's going to try and con them into providing her child with an education she cannot afford.
It just seems wrong to me.

OP posts:

pagwatch · 02/05/2009 20:39

I also don't accept the premise that state education = crap eduaction. But that is another matter.

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:42

Well we agree then. I dont think it will work, it may have done so a year ago. But now that many existing parents may be struggling they would get the bursaries first.

You didnt say the right or wrong bit until 20:33 while I was typing my 20:34 post.

ScummyMummy · 02/05/2009 20:43

Sounds like an unwise plan but I'm not sure why it affects you at all, let alone makes you fume, tbh.

pearlsbeforeswine · 02/05/2009 20:44

It doesn;t really matter though sorrento, her child will either get the bursary ( which I doubt) which means she will get the place which is good or the child will have to leave which is sad.

But it shouldn't matter to you

scienceteacher · 02/05/2009 20:44

Not sure why you are fuming, tbh.

If the school has a bursary programme in place for her type of family, then good luck to her.

If you don't ask, you don't get.

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