Am fuming - private school thread

[Sorrento]

A conversation I've just overheard from a neighbor (i know, i know) she intends to send her child to the local private school knowing she cannot afford the fees and intends to apply for financial assistance in the Feb is this likely to work or will the child be chucked out ?
I'm not sure whether to admire the audacity or be shocked at the cheek of her.

A friend of mine struggled for years to pay her DDs fees. Just when she thought she was finally off the hook and could send her, aged 16, to college, the school begged for her to stay on. My friend then had to admit she couldn't afford it anymore and underwent an extremely intrusive means test. They did get the bursary though. That was 2 years ago. The same school has 3 girls leaving Years 1 & 2 at half term because the parents are broke. Which I think demonstrates that a well-attended school will try and keep it's preferred pupils but won't bankrupt itself to keep everyone.

This woman sounds rather grabby & unpleasant but nevermind. Concentrate on your own children, state education can offer just as much, particularly when the parents stay involved and encourage their DCs to take up opportunities for extra-curricula activities etc.

A small point- and be prepared for the howls of outrage- why should it concern the OP? Well, it all depends whether the school is claiming charity status or not, really. If it is, it could legitimately be seen to be other people's business, too.

FWIW I know someone who has 2 DSs at an expensive prep. DH works for a bank that is now 80% state owned in the sort of position that earns the sort of bonus that pays enough to send 2 x DS to a school that charges £11K pa per child.

What pees ME off is the fact that it COULD be said he's been able to fund his DS's far more privileged education on the back of what transpires to be other peoples misery.... I mean, to the extent that there may well yet be legal action regarding the behaviour of this bank! And he is by no means alone.

YET the DW, whilst terrified DH's job may disappear up the swanny, not completely unlikely!- is SURE the school will fund the DSs ongoing education- in Y6 and 4! I was initially rather annoyed at that possibility but now I realise there's little chance of that happening. You may say I'm gloating- we-e-ell, I've had the piss taken out of me on numerous occasions about how I worry my pretty little head about which state option to go for for MY DSs,- ha, IMAGINE having to think about class sizes!- because she's so convinced she's in the clear!

The next issue is the hardship one based on 'why should something going wrong within the family cause the poor DCs to have to change school? It's SO unfair to disrupt them!'. This can range from bereavement to redundancy (such as if your wild risk-taking with other people's money causes the bank you work for to go cap in hand to the government?!). These are obviously 2 ends of a spectrum. Yes, I believe it IS OK for a school (with charity status- it's ENTIRELY up to a proper 'private' school to do what it wants with its money!) to see the bereaved DCs through to perhaps the end of the next stage of their schooling. But redundancy? It's almost as if 'How COULD you penalise THE CHILDREN of someone down on their luck (and place them back amongst the other 93% of us! Ugh.)?', Well, how about the penalisation that could be said to go on all the time to anyone who CAN'T afford a posh, privileged education for their child where their 'C's will be turned into 'A's, their accent polished to cut glass, their 'contact list' bullet proof?

Cuts both ways!

I've been shouted down on other threads Faraday for saying that people who put their child in private school without having the means to pay all the way through are irresponsible, but I'm afraid I think they are.
It's too big a deal to be chancing the fact that you may have a job, may have bonus in many cases.
But then people are expecting to be bailed out left, right and centre so maybe they will be on this too.

Some private schools will offer help to parents who have been made redundant. It tends to be because of the child and little to do with the parent imo.

Totally agree MollieO. Friends of mine going through hard times because of crunch, and when they tried to take their Y6DD out of school the head gave them full bursary, but only because the DD was very involved in school life and incredibly popular with students and staff alike.

But for a child just one term into the school? Without proof of sudden change in circs? Not in a million years.