Positive criticism in school reports - anyone else got any gems?

[BarbadosMama]

DS1's school likes to focus on the positive in school reports. Teachers must spend ages dreaming up the positive spin they put on things. My favourites from this years are:

Music - DS1 appreciates the humour and energy in the songs we learn. He takes great delight in thinking up new lyrics and replacing words with others which sound alike [Yes I can imagine]

Art - it is a pleasure to have such an active young artist in class [not clear here whether she means Jackson Pollock style throwing of paint or running out of control round the classroom and I'm not going to ask]

Anyone else got gems of positive spin from teachers?

"Teaching DS2 has beeen an interesting challenge." - His Year 6 teacher.

DD1 is one of our more exuberant pupils - polite talk for hyperactive!

Music - DD1 can sing well when not shouting.

You are very good at seeing what we (teachers) really mean...thers is a definite skill to the positive spin. When I say, "such and such is a lively participant in classroom discussion"...I really mean "such and such never shuts up and drives me bananas"!!! Luckily, I am a secondary teacher and we are allowed to be a little more direct than is suggested with primary kids...even so "such and such struggles with Science" is always going to mean "is crap at it"!!

I have a school report from thirty years ago- my ballet report.

"What domesticslattern lacks in natural talent, she makes up for in enthusiasm".

'Presentation is not ds's priority'!

"ds is not a naturaly gifted sportsman" . The poor thing's asthmatic, has loose ligaments and flat feet so he gets tired and falls over!

ds is "an extremely gifted boy". Ahh

All through primary every report I got for ds2 said he talked too much until year 6 which made no comment on his runaway mouth!!
I mentioned it at parent's evening. His teacher said well yes he does still talk too much but I figured you knew that by now!!!!

It's not their fault they have to write b, they aren't allowed to be negative.

loving this thread.
can't wait for DS's to be old enough to bring home 'positive spin' reports.
DS1's nursery have told me he is very very sociable...am now wondering what they really mean.
Last week, after six months and not a single painting or drawing, they said, 'very exciting, we nearly had a drawing from him'
What's nearly a drawing?

From this year's report:-

"He is in his absolute element when he has an audience."

"It would be lovely if his desire for more knowledge within ICT could be transferred in part to other subjects."

"He will often 'act the fool' rather than take PE seriously and I think this is his safety net."

"He has fantastic organisational skills and frequently keeps us all on the right track."

Get the picture?? He's 9, by the way.

His ability to lose graciously is slowly improving

X has a lovely clear voice that can be very penetrating and he needs to ensure that he maintains a volume appropriate to the situation

If a child is described as 'a quiet member of the class' is this a positive or a negative thing. I'm never quite sure.

DD got this one: "DD does not get upset when playing. She has managed to develop several strategies to get what she wants out of play sessions."
I said to her teacher "do you mean DD is a bossy whatsit who tells all her friends what to do and brooks no arguments" and her teacher replied "er..." so I put her out of her misery by saying "yes, she is very assertive, please feel free to interpose on the other kid's behalfs or she will steamroller them all" at which teacher looks very relieved.

ds1's reception teacher is very jolly- last year she wrote 'ds1 seems a bit lost during music and movement, but then so do I!'

On an old report of dd2's (end of KS1) - "I'm looking forward to teaching x again next year - at least with her in the class I know life will never be dull!"

DS:
"Needs to be more tolerant about working with people he's not used to working with."
Ie: needs to not throw monster strop when paired off with the class nerd.

"Needs to control his temper in the playground."
Ie: needs to not let himself be goaded by rest of Year 3 into having a fistfight with one of the year fours.

'tom has stated to count and knows all his numbers to 30. When we counted ships he could only count two of them as he said his heart hurt. What could I say but follow your heart....'

"DS enjoys extended conversations about the topics that interest him". As those topics are cathedrals and textile mills, I can only imagine what his poor teacher must suffer...

(I still remember my sister being praised for being "a quiet member of the school choir" on her report!!)

Art - dd treats these lessons as a great social occasion and needs to be reminded to focus on the task in hand

I love the one about losing graciously - for sport it said dd lacked team spirit as winning was still most important to her (in other words she wants the glory!!!)

DS "obviously enjoys the social interaction of school life". In other words - he got separated from his best mate all year because they distracted each other!

"DS2 can be strong willed and very determined if something doesn't suit him"

Read;DS2 can be very stubborn, awkward little bugger.

DD is now more prepared to let others take the lead in play situations.

Bossy madam...

I got
"Sphil swims with interest" on one of mine .