Son, GCSEs, nervous breakdown incoming

[DungareesTrombonesDinos]

My 16 year old has struggled throughout his education journey so far and this resulted in him getting a grade 2 English Language GCSE and a U in Maths on Thursday. We are still really proud of him as at one point we thought he wouldn't actually sit any GCSEs. Hes been at a PRU and they were amazing for building relationships with him but not so good at the education side. Hes come away with an encyclopedia of AQA units like making fish fingers sandwiches (no im not lying) but Colleges wont accept 200 certificates.

He has an EHCP (dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD, Irlen and I suspect dysalculia) and we originally put down for a multi skills trade course so he could have a taster as he he 0 idea of what he wants to do. College put him in for a level 2 bricklaying course and he hasn't got the grades - he needs 2 grade 2s.

College have essentially said its tough luck and he can do art (no interest), sport (no interest) or some random sounding course with no qualifications. They've said they wont just let uim retake GCSEs, hes got to be on a course. Ive put him down for the waitlist for multi skills - might be December or never.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and come through it with a plan??? I honestly thought we were done trying to work out a plan for him and I am so stressed Im not sleeping. He appears to not give a shiny fuck but I know his self esteem will be even more ruined when his mates start College in September and he doesnt....

Sorry for the essay and thank you for any words of wisdom.

Thank you so much I appreciate this so much! I love him so much, he is so clever and funny and kind but he does not fit into the education system in this country.

He did entry level 3 in maths and English so unfortunately not equivalent to a GCSE pass. Ive spoken to him tonight and he is more than happy to redo the GCSEs as he understands how important they are. A lot of his mates are in the same situation - a band of ADHD boys! - so he is feeling OK and said he didn't want me to worry. To a PO who suggested work- he would love a little job so we are going to look into this too.

Would a suported internship be an option for him? He could do the next level up on key skills maths & English alongside on the job training. Unfortunately it's unpaid, but might give him some direction and sence of achievement.

educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2023/03/how-supported-internships-help-young-people-learning-disabilities-gain-work-experience/

I totally can relate to this. My daughter sat her GCSEs last year maths she got a u, English language 1, science 1. Our expectations for her was to get some numbers on the paper as the school didn’t meet her needs and she was never going to get 4+ results. However she got good results in child development level 1 distinction, music she got a 3 in this was without having a music teacher in year 10 and very little teaching. She has a learning disability dyspraxia processing difficulties and speech/language difficulties. The college she goes to offers life skills programs which she is doing along with functional skills in maths and English. Our hope is she can go onto childcare course once she gets the functional skills which will take a few years. Does your college offer a similar course?

If he has an ehcp, does the college offer supported internships into work

Is that an option for him.?

Ooh I didn't know about this thank you!

Well done to your DS for wanting to persevere with the GCSEs. Hopefully you can find a way through for his next steps - there are some good suggestions on this thread.

Passing Entry Level 3 is a great start though. My DS took a few months (I can’t remember how long exactly but less than 6 months I think) to progress from passing EL3 to taking and passing Level 1 and then Level 2. He passed both on his second attempts I think. The advantage to FS is that you can take it whenever you’re ready, at any time of the year, rather than just November or May like GCSEs. (I sound like I’m on commission! Just wanted to let you know the process if you don’t already!)

Ok great, if I was you I would get him to do Level 1 FS first. It is much better to take it slow than resit maths gcse repeatedly. The resit courses in college are only effectively 9 months and usually x2 1.5 hours a week. It is intense cramming and works mainly for those who were a few marks off a 4. Start with 20 mins a day on L1. He will get there 🙂

You need to return to the EHCP and the local offer. Entry level 3 maths is a long way from level 1 maths and GCSE. The college will have a Foundation Studies dept or as mentioned before you could look at supported internships with maths and english alongside. My son went to a specialist college offering individualised programmes to students with EHCP's - better options exist.

Can anyone explain why it is necessary for any practical course like brick laying to have English and Maths skills? Why are governments/colleges creating these obstacles for non-academic young people to enter trades?

Because they think weighing the pig will make it fatter.
ie Because they think that making the young people resit will make them try harder and thus pass.

Some courses obviously need a certain standard of numeracy and literacy, but using GCSE grade 4 as a benchmark is very rough. If someone has got e.g. Merit at the course the level below, it should be up to the college whether they judge the person fit for the next level up.

Totally agree, our education system is fucked because of the attitudes of people who are naturally academic and control the system.

i have to admit this was me- it was my attitude as someone who found school and uni a walk inthe park and got straight As and a 2:1 without really trying or doing any work. I thought people who failed badly were just lazy. Now I have a child with SEND (so far coping in mainstream, but she’s still young) and I am enraged at how little support or alternative assessment routes there are for children and young people who do learn differently.

This is a really good point, all councils are currently expanding their investment in this area - make a call to a few folks there.

Good luck op! This is a stressful summer for you but there will be a route for him x

Have you contacted the SEND team at the LA? They may be able to help as he has an EHCP. Emphasise what DS’s wishes are as this carries the most weight and see if they can persuade the College to take him on the course he wants (as loads will probably drop out 🙄)
What is in the EHCP in Section F? - as the LA still need to provide this from September wherever he is. Be really clear that he wants to go to college on that course. Ask for that course and that College to be named in Section I. You could go to Tribunal for the provision you want - but that takes ages and is a hard slog but if you look determined enough, the LA may step in as they won’t want a Tribunal either.

Am sorry OP but if he really was bright, but not achieving, he would have accepted the guidance given and realised he needed to do some work. I hope he has had some guidance and help given the conditions he has ?
You say he doesn’t care. Does he care but putting on a brave face ?
You say he has struggled in education full stop. People who are bright don’t generally. They do eventually get through. But he may well have needed support to do so.

I think if he has never had any work experience now is the time to try to get him some. You can succeed at work even if you did not at school. Completely different worlds. Because he will earn money.
Even a Saturday job will open his eyes to all sorts. Discipline, having to do as asked, having to get there and do tasks for the day, getting on with people he doesn’t know. It really used to be the bedrock of society and for those not staying on at school the stepping stone into the world of work.

If he has learning difficulties to the extent that he has struggled, you need to get advice from organisations that help people with the difficulties your son has.
If he is struggling because nobody has given him advice then he really should have had some before now.

And do get some before he tries to go to work.

I wouldn't recommend missing a term of multi trades as my son does this and missed 6 weeks due to an injury and that was bad enough trying to catch up.

There are plenty on his course retaking maths and English to so seems ridiculous he cant do bricklaying.

There are practical courses that do not require it.

the usual situation is that in any area of study (brickkaying, catering, whatever) there are courses at level 1 that are suitable for students who have not passed any GCSEs (at grade 4 or above),

eg this one.
https://www.wsc.ac.uk/courses/culinary-arts-academy/818-level-1/14785-catering-certificate-level-1-26vf032368

level 1 courses have virtually no writing or maths required.

studejts who finish a level 1 course or get gcse grades can go into a level 2 course. These courses will often ask for some writing (eg writing a menu) and some maths (eg working out cooking times for meats etc).

For example this course requires four GCSEs at 4 or above OR completion of level 1

https://www.lincolncollege.ac.uk/course/level-2-catering-and-professional-cookery#accordion_copy_0

many students on a level 2 course will be resitting maths and/or English.

a level 3 course generally requires a pass at grade 4 in maths of English because the students are going to need to be able to communicate in written form and do basic maths. So for example a level 3 course in catering is going to require students to read really quite complicated recipes and also read and understand health and safety information. They are going to need to write down allergens in the food they are making and communicate clearly with customers in writing and in a way that meets the legal food labelling requirements.

for maths they are going to need to be able to scale recipes up and down, work out how much the ingredients cost all together and work out the cost of a portion of the recipe plus calculate la our costs and rent to work out profits.

now catering is what I am familiar with but I’d imagine bricklaying is similar.

My very bright son was undiagnosed ADHD but diagnosed at 19 - consequently his GCSEswere all over the place ( and he did very little work too) , some AS, some Bs, a distinction in IT, some Cs and a couple of fails - ok it’s different as he has enough to get by but he went straight to a tech apprenticeship at 16 ( and yes there was competition- it’s not like many think) and is now 28 and has continually worked , lives in London now etc - lads like OPs may well be great at trades and just do better in a job - alongside college options ,get online OP and gave a look if there are entry level apprenticeships, with some it’s more about the person , but he needs to know apathy won’t cut it for trade apprenticeships either -

Your DS needs to start on a level 1 course and instead of retaking his GCSES he should work towards level 2 functional skills.
Have you spoken to the SEN team at your local college?

It won’t be what he wants but it will save a lot of wasted time and money if he jumps straight to this now, rather than mess about for a couple of years and then be applying for such a job

The Op describes his “attitude” as being one of not giving a shiny fuck?

People who are bright dont struggle in education wow my eyes have rolled so hard they have fallen out of my head. How many people have things like dyslexia, ADHD, Irlen, things that make it extremely difficult to answer questions in exams - yet they are still bright? Just because he found GCSEs hard doesnt mean hes not bright. Ive got a degree, MA, and loads of post graduate qualifications and my GCSE maths retake made me cry.

Thank you, genuinely, to everyone who has made suggestions on this thread I am writing everything down. His EHCP named this College and he is on the wait list for the course he wants. Ive emailed the SEN team at the LA and asked them if theres anything they can do.

He would love a part time job so we are looking into that too. He did loads of AQAs in food hygiene etc so hopefully might get something in a cafe or pub maybe?

It is so infuriating that the system wants GCSEs for the trades, lots of his friends are in the same boat. Cant remember if I said but College wont let him just resit his GCSE either - he has to be on a course. But there are no spaces on any courses 😡

Have you ever encountered a 16 year old boy? As a PP correctly pointed out its all bravado, of course he cares. He especially doesnt want to upset me.

@DungareesTrombonesDinos
Rummage through the AQA unit awards and get them into groups - if he's got loads relaying to catering, for example, get those together.

Then you can help him to write a useful cv which might help him out.