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Original poster

Child tried to push my ds into the road outside school

49 replies

mahonia7 · 16/06/2007 17:24

A child has been making my ds's life very difficult at school in the past week. He has attacked him three times in school with teachers as witnesses. The fourth attack was outside school (child waiting for my son). He tried to push my ds into the road.

Any advice gratefully received. This child is much bigger than my son and in one of the attacks in school picked up 6" metal staples and tried to go for my ds.

We are worried for his safety on Monday. We've had advice from police and they say they will get involved if school don't do anything.

Can I keep my ds off school until the school can guarantee his safety? The child in question has a SEN but this does not excuse the violence.

OP posts:

juuule · 16/06/2007 17:25

If you are really concerned about your child's safety I would say keep him off school until you are reassured that he will be safe. Contact the school to make an appointment to discuss things.

LIZS · 16/06/2007 17:32

how old are they ? Should the other child be supervised in school perhaps until a parent takes him home ?

Original poster

mahonia7 · 16/06/2007 17:36

They are 12 years old and both in year 7. The other child is allowed out of school 10 minutes earlier than the rest of the school (don't know why) but he waits for my son.

OP posts:

Original poster

mahonia7 · 18/06/2007 07:01

Thanks for your replies. Has anyone ever been in this situation?

OP posts:

barney2 · 18/06/2007 07:21

I saw an incident only last week whereby a year 6 boy came up to another boy, outside the school gates and thumped him so hard had it not been for another child grabbing the bag of the child being hit he'd have toppled down some steps. I reported this to the headmaster who was so concerned he wanted names etc which I managed to get after asking around. I then learnt that the whole of that year were kept in and denied the chance to go outside for the following day.

What are the school doing about your problem? Surely with teachers as witnesses something should be done?

I would tell the headmaster that unless something is done about this boy NOW I would not send my child to school - whilst not sending him in isn't ideal I'd prefer to know everything is ok....

barney2 · 18/06/2007 07:22

Oh and my dd, who was in year 3, was being followed and cornered by a boy in year 6 - again reported with a name and the boy was pulled into the headmaster's office, his parents informed and he never did it again.

Begs the question again what are the school doing to help you?

barney2 · 18/06/2007 07:23

Why is the other boy let out earlier? I would insist that this isn't the case because there is obviously no reason for him coming out earlier if he has the time to wait for your son.

hercules1 · 18/06/2007 07:35

I expect he is let out earlier so that the idea is he is off hte premises. Personally as a parent I'd be tempted to keep my son off and go into see the school to find out exactly what they are doing to resolve it.

You are on dodgy grounds if you keep him off for any lenght of time for this but jeez this sounds awful.

I'm a sec teacher btw.

barney2 · 18/06/2007 07:38

Crikey. Well if thats the reason for him leaving early that is so wrong. Our school seem to take responsibility for THEIR children whether they are in the school grounds or not.

I'd keep my child off and if the matter wasn't being resolved I'd keep her off and (I don't know how you do this) but report the school to whomever for not resolving what surely must be classed as a bullying issue? No school would want that to happen.

If this child has 'attacked' once it should be kicked out of school, let alone 3 times...what is going on?

Blandmum · 18/06/2007 07:40

I would phone the school and make an appointment to see your son's form tutor, as a matter of urgency. Explain the situation, and say you ant to see someone today if possible, or asap. Explain that you have spoken to the police. STAY CALM (not easy I know)

hercules1 · 18/06/2007 07:42

Barney - of course it is wrong. I guess the school are hoping the child goes home earlier rather than hanging around.

It is very difficult to exclude a child. It's a long process and loads of evidence has to be collated over a long period of time with evidence of what the school has done to help. If the child was excluded the parents would appeal and the child would be right back in teh school.

barney2 · 18/06/2007 09:49

How does a school 'hope' a child will go home earlier by letting him out early and before other children? With his track record do they honestly think he'll head home? I don't think so somehow. By the sounds of it he'll be lurking in the hedge waiting to have yet another go at this poor boy.

I'm sorry but if this child has attacked another child THREE times he needs to be excluded. He's a danger to other kids, he can damage a child's confidence seriously and if it were my child picking/bullying other kids I would expect him/her to be excluded.

Presumably his parents are aware he is attacking other kids? When my dd had problems with the boy in year 6 I was told by the h/m that his parents would not be brought into the matter and that the school will deal with it independently. Needless to say my dh said should it happen again he would go and see his parents himself. The school did deal with it and in my view they did a good job - they kept him out of school for 24 hrs and kept his year in for the day too.

juuule · 18/06/2007 10:09

Why was the whole year kept in?

barney2 · 18/06/2007 10:25

As a punishment for what the boy had done to my dd - it had gone for a few days and I held back reporting until I knew for sure it wasn't going to resolve on its own. My DD was telling me not to go in and report him but in the end she got so tearful and we had the 'I'm not feeling well' syndrome in the mornings before school so I knew I had to do something. As it turned out he wasn't just picking on her and he'd done it before to other girls in the lower years so praps the school took this into consideration too. I don't know but I'm glad the school did what they did because he's not bothered her since.

juuule · 18/06/2007 11:40

It's good that they dealt with the boy and that he hasn't bothered your dd again. I can't understand what the rest of the year group had to do with it, though.

barney2 · 18/06/2007 12:00

Nor do I but I wasn't too concerned at the time - I was more worried about my dd and her wellbeing. Perhaps it was the school's way of putting out a warning to other kids - don't pick on/bully other kids or else we'll keep your year in too!?

hercules1 · 18/06/2007 12:28

barney - of course I agree with you but it isnt that simple.

barney2 · 18/06/2007 12:35

I know it's not that simple - life isn't simple - especially where children are involved. You've only to read the newspapers/watch the news to see bullying at school is becoming an increasing problem in this country and unfortunately some children carry the burden of this for a long long time and in some cases decide they can no longer cope - whether it be due to the parents not paying enough attention or the school not willing to help.

hercules1 · 18/06/2007 12:50

But schools have their hands tied. It really isnt that simple to just exclude a child. Is bullying getting worse? Maybe publicity is but not so sure about the rate of incidences.

The system needs changing to allow schools to deal effectively with bullies as well as schools being pulled up on things like letting a bully leave earlier.

barney2 · 18/06/2007 13:02

Hang on a minute...we don't know why this boy is being let out earlier yet do we? mahonia hasn't told us yet and has said '(don't know why)' so we can presume he's being let out earlier due to his bullying ways - I still find it hard to believe a school would let a lad like him out early due to this situation - surely they would insist he stay behind to allow other kids to get home or be met by his parents at the gate rather than letting him to lay in wait for kids to bully?

TBH I don't know if bullying is getting worse other than when I was a kid it was unheard of. If it appears to be getting worse due to the amount of publicity in the press then good - I'm glad it is being publicised because even if there is one individual in this country who is a 'Bully' then its one too many.

barney2 · 18/06/2007 13:03

sorry...that should say 'so we CAN'T presume he is being let out earlier due to his bullying ways'.....

barney2 · 18/06/2007 13:03

sorry...that should say 'so we CAN'T presume he is being let out earlier due to his bullying ways'.....

barney2 · 18/06/2007 13:03

oh blimey...I need to go on a typing course. My caffeine levels are obviously a bit low...kettle on!

hercules1 · 18/06/2007 13:20

WHen I was a child I saw lots of bullying. I think it's a little naive to think that years ago bullying was virtually unheard of.
Sorry, thought I read here somewhere he was being let out earlier because of this. I've seen that happen too.

HonoriaGlossop · 18/06/2007 13:27

barney, I think you were really lucky that to you bullying was unheard of. It's been going on in schools since schools have existed. It's just talked about more now and dealt with more.

in answer to the OP, what have the school said they will do? Have you had a meeting with your child's teacher and/or the head?

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