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Original poster

Big decision to make-please help!

31 replies

Mumza · 13/05/2018 21:46

I’ve thought of nothing else for the past week and need some helpful advice as I’m no further forward in making a decision!
DS passed the entrance assessments to both schools we applied to. They are both very good schools and I’d be happy to send him to either but now we have the choice it’s proving difficult! DS is leaning towards one school, DH is leaning towards the other school and I’m stuck in the middle!
I’ve made pro and con lists for both but it’s not helped!
Has anyone else been in a similar position? Who had the final say? Should we let DS decide?

OP posts:
unintentionalthreadkiller · 13/05/2018 21:48

What are the pros and cons - need some context!

Original poster
Mumza · 13/05/2018 21:57

Thanks for your reply. School 1-more travelling for the whole family as no bus. More expensive fees. Smaller school. Gave me and DS ‘that feeling’. School 2-bus to school and back. Affordable fees. Didn’t give me ‘that feeling’ but DS and DH were happy with it. Large school that I am worried DS will be lost in.

OP posts:
Teaandbiscuits35 · 13/05/2018 22:06

Go with your gut! I let DD choose, big mistake. Three years in she had moved to the school I originally wanted as it was better suited to her. You decide. Good luck.

Original poster
Mumza · 13/05/2018 22:25

Thanks for your honest my tea and biscuits. I agree that DC don’t always know what’s best for them and unfortunately decisions I’ve let DS make in the past have turned out to be mistakes! Seems I know him better than he knows himself if you know what I mean. I also want him to be happy though and I suppose a part of that is being able to contribute to the decision about which school is best for him. I should have said that school 2 is an all through school so he sounds have to sit further entrance exams for senior school.

OP posts:
CFTrollsSmell · 13/05/2018 22:31

School 2.
Easier travel is a huge plus.
The fact it’s bigger is good. More choice of friends. Also if it’s bigger then their could be better facilities and choice of extra curricular etc etc
Having the option to go right through is a huge plus.
Cheaper is also a nice bonus.

There you go, I’ve sorted it out for you 😁

Original poster
Mumza · 13/05/2018 22:40

Thanks CF! Nicely put and made me laugh! Facilities great at both. School 1 is on the coast and has access to water sports and School 2 has a swimming pool. I have to agree the all through option is appealing and it is competitive for senior school entry so it would be a risk to reject the place and apply for senior school (as it’s highly likely this is the senior school he would go to unless he was to board).

OP posts:
Teaandbiscuits35 · 13/05/2018 23:43

It's such a difficult decision. You want to see them happy and thriving. Hopefully he'll do that wherever he ends up.

BackforGood · 13/05/2018 23:50

School 2 on what you've written.
The travel thing is huge. this isn't going to be 'for a month' or 'once a week' or even 'for a year' - this is going to be a many years, on a daily basis.

Sparklyshoes16 · 14/05/2018 05:36

School 2 Travel=there is public transport so if there is a problem he can get there easily and not have to wait/rely on you to take him.

Friends as pp said bigger choice small schools can get quite cliquey.

Bigger school = more pupil funding which means more chances for trips, shows, sports etc.

Good luck my sister is in a similar position to you.

senua · 14/05/2018 09:27

The smaller school is charging higher fees which, all other things being equal, will turn parents off. A lot of schools are folding these days; are you sure that this one is financially viable and won't collapse in the middle of your DS's education?

Original poster
Mumza · 14/05/2018 19:32

Thanks so much for all your replies. I don’t think the school has any current financial difficulties. The fees are high and they are improving facilities regularly-i might be wrong though! I just feel like our indecisiveness is ruining what should be a happy time. I hope DS doesn’t inherent his decision making skills from me! Lol!

OP posts:
OnTopOfSpaghetti · 14/05/2018 19:44

What is he like personality wise? Shy/anxious? Outgoing? Neither?? My DS was a hugely anxious child but attends a massive Senior School, now in Yr 9 and has grown so much in self confidence. Being around a diverse range of teenagers has been good for him. He's learnt so much about himself alongside doing well with his studies.

LucyJ61 · 14/05/2018 20:05

I would go with school 1. Never underestimate ‘that feeling’ - trust your instincts!

Original poster
Mumza · 14/05/2018 21:22

He is outgoing when he is in the right environment. He makes friends quickly and is very likeable. I want him to have the opportunity to develop his confidence and shine. That’s why I was thinking the smaller school but I may be wrong to think that. Thanks Lucy, I like to think I can trust my gut instinct but the first house I bought was awful lol!

OP posts:
ScrubTheDecks · 14/05/2018 21:48

What year is this for?

Smaller schools can limit friendship groups.

Original poster
Mumza · 14/05/2018 21:54

Prep 5. I never thought of it that way. Think there are 2 prep 5 classes at school 1 and 3 prep 5 classes at school 2. Eek! This is getting more complicated!

OP posts:
OnTopOfSpaghetti · 14/05/2018 22:29

Based on what you've said I'd go for school 2. It sounds as if he'll make friends OK and its important as they get older that they are able to start developing their independence. Getting the bus is important as he'll be able to travel by himself and won't be reliant on lifts. Be prepared for a few weeks of him feeling unsettled though, I found it took a while for my DS to adjust to a larger environment.
Good luck whatever you decide!

titchy · 14/05/2018 22:41

Three classes is hardly large - not for that age! I'd say 2 as well. Easier to get to and larger generally means more choice of friends without having to 'make do' with the ones that are there.

Original poster
Mumza · 15/05/2018 10:25

By large I meant approximately 1200 pupils (as I said previously it is an all through school) and a large campus. The other school has approximately 300 pupils and a smaller campus. I appreciate the advice about the friendships though as it is very important for him to build good friendships and you guys are right that having more choice of friends is better. My gut instinct is still telling me school 1. The problem is they are both great schools!

OP posts:
Ginnotginger · 15/05/2018 20:29

If school 2 is where you will want him to go at senior level surely it would make sense for him to go there now rather than risk him not getting a place in the future.
When you add in cheaper fees and ease of transport, for me school 2 would be a clear choice.
Would it be possible to revisit both schools and see if school 1 still gives you the same feeling when the school hasn't been polished up for an open day?

Original poster
Mumza · 15/05/2018 20:49

Neither were on open days. Seen both schools on normal working days. I agree that if school 2 is where we were certain he would go in the future then that would be a good reason however I’m not sure what the best senior school for DS is as he is only 8. There is no time to revisit the schools as we only have until the end of the week to reply to one offer.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumza · 17/05/2018 19:04

Still no further forward! There are positives and negatives for both, they are weighing up to closely that there is no clear choice. Spoken with all the family and advice from persons in the know and no one is able to make a recommendation and have said to us things like “let me know what you decide”, “both are great schools so whatever one you pick will be fine”. Any last minute words of wisdom? Deadline is tomorrow! Confused

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 17/05/2018 19:50

School 2 - DH moved to secondary and loves the independence that a bus gives....probably the favourite thing about the school

slinkyme · 18/05/2018 07:54

Although I am a big believer in 'the feeling' and have made decisions about all our schools based on that, the clincher would be that if you think you may have him go to school 2 for senior then take it now. He will be much better prepared for transition into senior school years.

CFTrollsSmell · 18/05/2018 08:15

I'm still saying bigger school. It's better to have more choice for friends etc and the fact he can stay on the whole time is really good. Plus, have you added up how many hours of your life you would have to spend ferrying him to the other school.

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