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Original poster

I said I'd never do this but ...

59 replies

Earningsthread · 29/11/2013 20:58

Going on a business trip next week. This is very frequent, but I have been engaged in a project in a lovely European city (like Paris, though it is not, and do not want to out myself).

DD has just finished her mock GCSEs and is moaning that she is not doing anything in school. Would I be unreasonable to take her with me? My meetings are Thursday and Friday. She would come out with me on Wednesday. Mooch around on her own on Thursday and Friday. Then on Saturday and Sunday we would do some serious art-gallery bashing.

We investigated her flying out on her own on Saturday but (a) the flights don't work (b) the companies in question do not take unaccompanied minors and DD is only 15 and (c) the flights out on Saturday on her own would take 10 hours, unimaginably while they are much more efficient in the week.

So, what do you think?

OP posts:
FlatsInDagenham · 29/11/2013 20:59

I'd take her. She'll learn heaps.

SoupDragon · 29/11/2013 21:02

No, I wouldn't. Not in her GCSE year.

Original poster
Earningsthread · 29/11/2013 21:06

She would miss 4 days of school in total. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and the following Monday when we are travelling back. It's a lot of days, I admit, but the school is in wind-down mode because of having just finished mocks. I do think that she will learn more with me, genuinely, in the city in question. I don't need the company - this is not about me - they look after me well over there. I just think she will get so much more out of this. Genuinely so much more. I am a culture fiend, seriously.

There is the side issue that I am worried about being prosecuted or something for taking her out of school.

OP posts:
Original poster
Earningsthread · 29/11/2013 21:19

bump for any other thoughts ...

OP posts:
ItLooksLikeRainDearpOOD · 29/11/2013 21:19

You will give her an experience that she will remember for the rest of her life. I'd take her, there is nothing like 'real life' education.

colette · 29/11/2013 21:24

i think if you are happy she won't be missing much real course work or useful revision I would take her. Great age for really appreciating a different city , my dd is 15 .
Don't know about school policy/ fines etc .

runningonwillpower · 29/11/2013 21:33

How does DP know what's planned for the absent days?

She could be missing something important. You don't really know.

And it is kind of about you. Because I'm guessing that that city and it's culture isn't going to disappear in the foreseeable future. So there's no urgency about you and DP visiting.

So really, it's about what best suits your diary and finances. Not necessarily your child's education.

I'm not saying I wouldn't take her out. I would just be honest about my reasons.

Original poster
Earningsthread · 29/11/2013 21:51

By DP, I guess you mean DD.

This is not about finances. To put it into perspective, the costs of DD's flights and hotel will be around £1k.

It is just that I will be there and DD could be too. I don't want to do the wrong thing with schooling but I think she would get a lot out of this. It would cost me a lot less money to insist that DD goes to school. I would probably have a better time minus DD. I just love her, that's all. And I think she would get more out of this than going to school.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 29/11/2013 21:57

My DD finished her mocks today. And no, I absolutely wouldn't take her out of school. I suspect DD's school will be in wind down mode next week, but she will also be getting her results, going over papers etc.

If you are determined to do it, could she fly back by herself on Sunday so that she didn't miss Monday?

British Airways take 14 year olds (DD flew with them last year). Would that not be an option at the weekend?

happygardening · 30/11/2013 00:09

I'd take her and have a great time. There are so few occasions in life to have a good time like this and you never know what's round the corner. I'm sure she won't miss anything vital, loads of children and teachers where I live and work are off with a flu type thing they will be given a chance to catch up on what they miss it's not the end if the world.

Kenlee · 30/11/2013 03:36

Take her...

Kenlee · 30/11/2013 03:38

actually BA go down to 11 .. never had trouble with it...coming back abd forth from HK

Hessy · 30/11/2013 03:47

Most Year 11s at my school are completing Controlled Assessments alongside Mocks. Be sure these are not scheduled during the period; they can take up to six hours to complete and many subjects might schedule them outside of the 'mock' period. These are a nightmare to catch up on.

Also, surely the period after the mocks is the most important as this is when you get the feedback?

I wouldn't necessarily take a student's word in the school being on wind down mode. Methods of teaching & learning can be more subtle than that. And in the current climate, I doubt any teachers ever have a wind down period with Year 11!

AllThreeWays · 30/11/2013 03:49

I wouldn't call 15 an unaccompanied minor.

notnagging · 30/11/2013 03:53

She is moaning that she is not doing anything because she wants to go on a trip with you! I wouldn't.
She would spend 2 days sitting around waiting did you by herself? What are you going to tell the school? She's ill?

Letslet · 30/11/2013 03:55

Hi I would take her. I also have a year 11 child. This is a big year for them but I think they need some downtime too. she presumably has been working hard for the mocks and the next onslaught will probably start feb/march. If she can possibly gain a different perspective and even learn something from being somewhere else then why not. Learning is not confined to the classroom and as long as she is prepared to catch up what she misses at school.

notnagging · 30/11/2013 03:58

Sorry I misread. 4 days off school?! Come on op, you are the responsible adult. Why is it okay for you to take dd out of school for a cultural trip which you could do together any time, then for her to be in school for the most important year of her secondary education? I just don't get it. Sorry

peteneras · 30/11/2013 04:51

but ... what?

Just follow what you said you'd never do and don't set a precedent now. You're on a business trip and she's in school. Don't mix the two together, never mind about coming back home alone and all that unnecessary hassle . . .

baskingseals · 30/11/2013 05:28

Definitely take her.
School is not the most important thing in the world, it really isn't, this is not a fascist state yet, if you want to spend time with your daughter, it is okay to do so.

tilbatilba · 30/11/2013 05:28

I would take her - time together is precious and what a great thing to do together.
What on earth could they be teaching at school that could replace the experience of sharing a fabulous city together.
My dd is 15 and I wouldn't hesitate.
I promise you she will remember your time together forever and all those other school days will morph ....

SprinkleLiberally · 30/11/2013 05:35

As a year 11 teacher I would be very unhappy. I cannot afford a single wasted lesson. The missed lessons and then not understanding the following lessons could be a problem. If you are prepared not to complain about results then fine.

Iknowitseemsabragbutitsnot · 30/11/2013 05:37

I wouldn't in y11. I realise lots of people would but 4 days is potentially 20 hours of GCSE work.

OttilieKnackered · 30/11/2013 05:46

How can people argue that school isn't important? Jesus Christ.

Do you send your child for seven hours a day for 12 years for a break then? Of COURSE the daughter will make out they're not doing much work.

In my view you'd be very gullible to take her word, not to mention highly indulgent.

GoodnessKnows · 30/11/2013 05:51

If there's even a chance that they'll be going over papers, I'd not take her.

tilbatilba · 30/11/2013 06:52

People aren't arguing that school isn't important - it's just that an opportunity is there for the mother and daughter to have an enriching time together.

How on earth do you think the rest of the world gets on without Big Brother dictating what is important your child experiences or learns?

Where has common sense gone in all this - of course a child will benefit from an opportunity like this, of course they will benefit from an overseas family reunion, being with a terminally ill relative, going to a wedding etc etc.

I can't believe the Govt has such a hold in England in dictating what is important ......all the above are "educational" if you are to produce rounded people in your society.....

I get that teachers don't want to have to provide catch up work etc - I have never asked a teacher to do that. I have also never asked permission to take my child out of school either but always inform them. I have access to the curriculum like any other parent - you don't have to be a rocket scientist to cover what they do.

Entering England I must say I never pinch myself thinking what an unbelievably educated society I'm mingling with - I think with all this rigid adherence to school days is going to lead to regret - one shot of life and everyone is behaving like sheep! How dull.

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