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Education

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Original poster

I said I'd never do this but ...

59 replies

Earningsthread · 29/11/2013 20:58

Going on a business trip next week. This is very frequent, but I have been engaged in a project in a lovely European city (like Paris, though it is not, and do not want to out myself).

DD has just finished her mock GCSEs and is moaning that she is not doing anything in school. Would I be unreasonable to take her with me? My meetings are Thursday and Friday. She would come out with me on Wednesday. Mooch around on her own on Thursday and Friday. Then on Saturday and Sunday we would do some serious art-gallery bashing.

We investigated her flying out on her own on Saturday but (a) the flights don't work (b) the companies in question do not take unaccompanied minors and DD is only 15 and (c) the flights out on Saturday on her own would take 10 hours, unimaginably while they are much more efficient in the week.

So, what do you think?

OP posts:

baskingseals · 30/11/2013 07:25

One's own priorities aren't always other people's, Ottilie.

I would rather spend four days with my daughter and miss school. You would not, both options are fine.

BoundandRebound · 30/11/2013 07:27

She is finishing her mocks not her exams

4 days in year 11 immediately following mocks when teachers will be going over papers and issues is ridiculous absence

Yabu

MirandaWest · 30/11/2013 07:30

I wouldn't take her. The time just after you've done exams should involve going over the papers to find out how you've done and how you are able to improve in the future. I doubt that there is going to be a big wind down from now until the end of term.

Norudeshitrequired · 30/11/2013 07:33

She says she is bored at school so you want to take her to another country where she will entertain herself for two days?
In her GCSE year?
And miss 4 days of school?

Will you be complaining or feel guilty if she doesn't attain her predicted grades?
Is she reliant on her grades to get into college / 6th form?

Personally, I wouldn't dream of taking her if she was my dd. She has her whole life to travel. Why not wait until she finished all her real exams and then treat her to a trip to reward her efforts.

24again · 30/11/2013 07:43

I'm a teacher and I'd say take her. Four days is not the end of the world as long as catches up. Just tell the school she's ill. Honestly, I've never really believed that many students actually listen that must to all the detailed feedback I give them after mocks - they just seem to look at the grade and then humour me whilst I go through the paper. Don't do it again this year though!

scaevola · 30/11/2013 07:52

No way, not in GCSE year.

And definitely not just after mocks as feedback is important.

I am sure you will find other opportunities for a cultural weekend with your DD, especially as you gave £1k to spend.

SoupDragon · 30/11/2013 08:06

time together is precious

Yes, obviously. I's not like this is the only time the OP spends time with her DD is it? And for two days of that "precious time" the DD will be wandering around alone in a foreign city.

Plan a proper trip for when her GCSEs are over as a reward.

Metebelis3 · 30/11/2013 08:19

Definitely didn't take her.

BeckAndCall · 30/11/2013 08:27

Four days out of school in her GCSE year!! Interesting idea about priorities.

And you're happy for your 13 year old girl to wander around a foreign capital city on her own for 2 days. Again, interesting approach to supervision....

She might spend 2 days sitting in Starbucks feeling lonely - not really an enriching experience, I wouldn't say.

Cutteduppumpkin · 30/11/2013 08:35

You shouldn't take her, but you know that.
Just looks like a stealth boast to me. Plus 2 days entertaining herself whilst you're at work is a long time. And work are okay with you staying over the weekend and taking Monday off as well? I know that's not how we do corporate travel.

LIZS · 30/11/2013 09:24

Surely in those days they will be going over the papers, mark schemes , mistakes etc . All vital if she is to improve grades.

RescueCack · 30/11/2013 09:43

Totally agree with basking seals. You are her parent, this is a lovely opportunity. Schools are an available resource. They are not the be all and end all of adolescence. We need to get them into perspective as an element of education, not the entire package. If you really want to push the exams, take some revision guides with you and get her to study whilst you're in meetings. She'll get more done on her own in a couple of hours than several days of being spoon fed in a classroom. Trust her. She's 15.

HalfSpamHalfBrisket · 30/11/2013 09:47

If its going to cost £1000 in flights and extras, why not book a long weekend away after she's finished her GCSEs as a treat? You get to spend the whole of the weekend away with her then as well rather than trying to fit in your work as well.

HalfSpamHalfBrisket · 30/11/2013 09:48

God that's a crappily constructed sentence, but you get the idea!

Saracen · 30/11/2013 10:01

Why not leave the decision to the young woman herself?

At fifteen she has already taken on the responsibility for working hard toward her exams (or not). She is the one who can see what is happening at school. She knows by now how she learns best, whether that is in the classroom or out in another city. She may or may not be misrepresenting to her mum how uneventful the time at school currently is. But this is all about her own future. Nobody else can or should force her to take a particular path. If missing these days of school is a mistake, it is her own mistake to make. She isn't a toddler anymore.

I don't think you should take her out of school against her will if she feels she cannot spare this time away from school. But why not discuss the pros and cons and then offer her the choice?

lljkk · 30/11/2013 10:03

I would think seriously about it. I've got up to 3 short business trips in Europe in next 6 months & 12yo Dd is very keen to come on one of them!

My 16yo self wandered around Madrid on my own for a whole month in 1984. Travelling without my parents, Transcontinental trip and all.

stillenacht · 30/11/2013 10:17

As a mum I wouldn't tbh and as a teacher I would feel they are missing out (yr 11 is so full on) if mocks are being looked at.

peteneras · 30/11/2013 10:37

”I'm a teacher and I'd say take her. . . Just tell the school she's ill.”

And you say you are a teacher?

Teaching parents how to tell lies in order to miss school? TBH, I wouldn’t send a monkey to a school with such a teacher.

Bloody F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!

lljkk · 30/11/2013 10:39

Was education always so important? Coz it verges on hysteria on MN, sometimes. Competing with the "Safety First" mantra.

pickledsiblings · 30/11/2013 10:42

Don't do it, you'd be sending the wrong message to your DD and to the school.

SoupDragon · 30/11/2013 10:46

Why not leave the decision to the young woman herself?

PMSL. Yes, because a 15 year old girl is going to say "Oh yes, I want to go to school instead of on a £1000 trip abroad."

SoupDragon · 30/11/2013 10:46

Was education always so important?

In an exam year, yes it was.

teenagetantrums · 30/11/2013 10:51

I'd take her, but i have always taken my children out of school for holidays and trips, it made no difference to their exam marks, my DS did well, my DD didn't do as well but was never predicated to. She will remember the trip in 10 years when she has long forgotten the what she did at school for those four days.

lljkk · 30/11/2013 10:52

maybe another reason why the British system is so lousy, all this stress on one single year traditionally which in last few decades turned into several yrs of stress (from age 12 onwards in some cases, leaving out the 11+ nonsense which means huge stress for age NINE in some cases). As if it wasn't a ridiculously inflexible system for secondary education already.

SoupDragon · 30/11/2013 11:01

Yes, so let's just let everyone dip in and out of education as they see fit. that'll work.

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