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Original poster

Residential trip

26 replies

sailorsgal · 02/05/2013 22:25

At the beginning of year 3 ds will be just 7. I am been made to feel unreasonable as I feel he is too young to go away from home for 3 nights. This is new as the trip normally taken in year 4 which I wouldn't have a problem with.
Am I being neuotic? :-)

OP posts:

GreenShadow · 02/05/2013 22:46

I agree it is very young. Residentials are getting earlier and earlier.

DS1 is now 20 and didn't go away until yr6 and even then he was barely ready.

How does your DS feel about it?

Original poster

sailorsgal · 02/05/2013 22:54

He was very excited but then cried at bedtime and said he didn't want to go. I don't appreciate been told all parents support it. I know of two other parents who are also concerned but I am more vocal. [Grin]

OP posts:

Pythonesque · 02/05/2013 22:56

I would have felt my son's teachers were being very brave if they had taken his year 3 class on an overnight trip at the beginning of this year. I think they may have one at the end of this term but I'm not sure. And I'm not just thinking in terms of my summer born son and others young in the year, but some of the older ones as well.

I think day trips are pretty good at this age - and if a longer trip is warranted for something special one overnight plenty.

Mutteroo · 03/05/2013 04:00

My son did his first overnight trip when he was 6 & he loved it! He's a quiet child who you would think would have hated being away, but no. It wasn't a school organised thing but with the Beaver scouts & initially he didn't want to go. It was only when he heard the vast majority of the group's positive reaction that his confidence gre enough for him to try it.

If you're not happy for your child to do an overnight trio then that's your choice, for us, it was a wonderful experience which he repeated again & again! I have to admit it was hell for me though as the irrational worry was enormous the first time he went away.

Original poster

sailorsgal · 03/05/2013 07:02

If it was just the one night and they were going with teachers they knew well I would have less of an issue TBH.
Don't get me onto the price of the trip!

OP posts:

tiggytape · 03/05/2013 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notfluffy · 03/05/2013 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickensaladagain · 03/05/2013 07:50

I think the difference with the brownies and beavers going is that there are older ones who have done it before, know the routine etc so from a leader's perspective, it's easier

I would not like to take an entire group of 7 year olds -brownies are 7-10 and there is a big difference

Has school said why they have changed to yr 3?

Original poster

sailorsgal · 03/05/2013 07:59

No they haven't. The email came out of the blue and what annoyed me most was
the children were told before most of us had read the it.

OP posts:

bella65 · 03/05/2013 08:10

It's hard to stick your neck out but you have to do what feels right for you and your son.

Years ago I refused to allow my son to go on a day trip- he was not yet 5 ( late August birthday) and it involved a 3 hour coach trip to the coast. I wasn't happy for various reasons, especially pupil: teacher ratios, plus he was always travel sick.

Takver · 03/05/2013 11:26

If it is expensive, I should imagine your ds wouldn't be the only one not going given the way things are at the moment.

Could you get together with other parents who aren't keen for their dc to go, so that you know there will be a critical mass not going, then no individual dc will feel bad about it. You could also plan a nice family day out that weekend, maybe, so your ds is still getting a treat.

FWIW I'd have been fine with dd going on a trip at that age, but they all vary so much, I don't think you're being in the least U (I know you weren't asking that, but anyway).

Loads of dc have nighttime accidents still at that age, and its not like an older child where if they're not dry you can make plans with them (I know this would have been an issue for dd's bf back then).

Milzy · 03/05/2013 11:57

I don't think you are being neurotic at all. I guess it depends a bit on your child whether they will enjoy it, get a positive experience from it. not sure I would get much sleep though if it was one of mine.

TeenAndTween · 03/05/2013 12:02

I would be concerned because of the combination of age AND it being early in the school year, and therefore less familiarity with the teachers.

Some children will be fine, as they may have been doing sleep overs with GPs etc, but for those that don't (like mine) I would prefer a first trip to be with teachers she is familiar with.

TeenAndTween · 03/05/2013 12:04

I also think its pretty stupid of the school to lower the year group for the trip without running it past the parents first.

YourHandInMyHand · 03/05/2013 12:06

That seems quite young for a school residential trip. They are all done in Year 6 here.

I agree beavers/scouts do camps and things but like has been said it's a mixed age group. Saying the teachers are very brave - it may not even have been their bright idea! I love kids and have experience caring for them both as day care and overnights but wouldn't relish the idea of this.

Original poster

sailorsgal · 03/05/2013 12:39

As its a private school I think it's almost expected one will go.Fees go up significantly in year 3 and also are increasing by 3.5% which is a whole different story. I sometimes think its good to say no. mean mummy

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorsgal · 03/05/2013 12:41

And its midweek. If he doesn't go I wonder what happens!

OP posts:

mummytime · 03/05/2013 12:54

A friend of mine sent her DD on a trip at about that age (private school). There had been some bullying, but the teachers assured her it was being dealt with.

The girl had such an awful time, that she is still refusing to go on any residentials, even those not organised by school, she is now 14.

If you DS really doesn't want to go, I would listen to him. 3 nights is too long, my DC do a 1 night sleepover at school at that age. Also schools are usually very good at getting the children to be excited by the idea of a trip, so not wanting to go is a bad sign.

Takver · 03/05/2013 13:25

I guess private school would be different, but at dd's (state) primary, those who don't go on the yr 5/6 residential just move into the class below for the week.

twitchypalm · 03/05/2013 14:16

My dd went on a 3 night residental in yr 3 with her state school. Shes going again this year yr 4 and next year my ds will be able to go.

My dd was a really shy child when she went. When she came back she was totally diffrent. Loads more confidence more out going and even got a special award for trying everything it was a pgl place they went to.

That said not every child went on the trip and they just went into the other class. My dd is one of the youngest in her class aswell being july born.

ICanTotallyDance · 04/05/2013 12:46

Mmm... tough. My first proper residential was Yr 6, but we did "school sleepovers" from Yr 3.

3 nights is quite a long time, but it will depend on the residential. Some trips will be camping less than 1 hour from the school and will include a "family day" so there are fewer worries.

Problems that would make me think twice about the trip:

-child wets the bed
-child repeatedly states they don't want to go
-child does not enjoy sleepovers with friends or grandparents
-residential is more than 2 hours away
-children have had trouble in the past
-he's bullied by his classmates

Since he's only said he doesn't want to go once, I wouldn't worry. At 14 (Yr 10) I broke down and told my parents I didn't want to go on an exchange to Japan, but I absolutely loved it and always wanted to go but was just freaked out but an older girl's tale about a drama involving getting lost in Yokohama.

Do make sure he knows you don't expect him to go. He might be trying to put on a brave face.

Anyway, that's just the trip being in Yr 3. The change-without-consulting-the-parents, the cost and the fees rising is a totally different kettle of fish!

lljkk · 04/05/2013 12:57

Depends on your child, I thought DD would never be ready, she had never even slept a night away from us before, but she went & had a blast (5 nights with Brownies).

Cannot conceive of sending DS2, ever. We have to fetch them and lose all money if they misbehave. DS2 will definitely probably misbehave. Maybe when he's 18 & can make his own way home on public transport & pay for whole thing himself, to boot.

SoldeInvierno · 05/05/2013 08:41

My DS's private school starts 3 day residential trips in Y3. As far as I can see, the children love them. It is often the parents who are more worried. However if a child doesn't want to go, they join Y2 for lessons.

Hulababy · 05/05/2013 08:49

Dd's school do 3 night residentials from y3. Have done for years. Dd went and loved it. I have to say they every child went in dd's class and there were no issues. But it is a smaller school and they all know one another very well. They go to Centre Parcs as worked out cheaper and better value than the school places they used to use. Y3/4 go together.

In y5/6 - one year they go to France and the next PGL. Dd is y6 now and going to PGL on Tuesday.

From age 8y they also have a 2 night residential over a weekend locally which dd has also done.

Dd went for 2 nights PGL with brownies age 9. That was a braver decision as she didn't really know the girls v well as only knew them from brownies and there were loads of brownies and guides from the county going. But she loved it.

I don't think y3 is too young looking back. Dd would have hated to miss out. I know some parents were worried, I was nervous that first time! And a couple of girls were nervous but all came back full of it.

Hulababy · 05/05/2013 08:56

Btw re bed wetting. Teachers broached this at the intro meeting with parents before anyone brought it up. Said they'd had it before and it was dealt with very discreetly and wasn't an issue.

I think one girl in last years y3 class didn't do the whole thing. Her parents drove her there every morning and collected her each night for the middle two days, about 1:30hr each way too! No idea why she didn't go. She was in school the other two days but no idea where she went.

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