no one to talk to, need advice re pension split

[whymewhyme]

ive just had a mediation session, we have 52k house equity to split. he has offered me 5k more so 55/ 45 split
i would have just under 31k in that case and he just under 21k

pension he has £78989
he has offered 40/60 split of his pension

we have been married 10yrs at the time of separation and the pension was accrued the whole time we were together.

i think i will accept the 5k offer on the equity but does 40/60 pension split sound fair? i just assumed it would be 50% pension.

apparently he has said he wants to avoid Solictors as much as possible to save cost, as do i dont have the availible money for any of this.

any advice welcom

Do you have children?
what assets did you both have before?
who contributed and earnt more? Who has more earning potential? What is your own pension?

Depends really….did you work in those 10 years and accrue your own pension….if you didn’t work why not? How old you are both are?

Another one!

Go and pay for an hours legal advice.

Not a lot of info in the post. Children? Your own employment? your pension ?

I have booked in to see a solicitor but not until the end of next week.

1 child
Yes I worked during the marriage my pension is a nest pension £7250.

This

Moneyhelper have a pension and divorce helplineMoneyhelper

No shared assets, we shared the bills ect but he paid more because he earned more. he was a teacher he isn't now and he earns 8k less in his current job.

You'll be £3,399 better off if you have 50/50.

I’d split both pensions 50:50, his pension likely to be worth a lot more in the future.

Looks like you are about 2.5k down ... if you add it all together and split it 50/50. I would accept 50/50 personally but solicitor might think differently - though of course, that's how they earn a living - by having people in dispute.

His pension is £78,989

If you are both relatively young then the pension is a long way off from being accessible, plus it will be taxable whereas the equity in the house is instantly available and free of tax. you have an obviously smaller pension but still an asset. I'd be more worried about the support for the child and would be seeking advice based on that

We are both 41 years old.

I have our dc most of the time
He has him sunday day one week and friday night/ Saturday day the other week. He pays maintance but nothing extra like uniform/ glasses/ swimming and football lessons and school trips. I paid for his dyslexia assesment which was £535, he refused to pay half. I also paid £8900 of his half of the mortgage when he pissed off.

For the sake of what is only a few 1000, id take his offer. Solictor fees will easily come to more if you argue about it.

This is what I'm worrying about, if I go back with a counter offer on the pension he will go back on the say he isnt willing to give the 5k extra.

Ive told myself that the likes hood of me getting the pension i will be in me late 60/70s and I won't care about not having a 50 50 pension split. He also mentioned that if I share his pension he wants me to pay towards getting that sorted aparently its costs quite abit to get it sorted so I suppose thats fair

I’d also check the terms of the pension split, my DH’s ex rejected the offer of £35k cash (no marital home and pension lump sum was about to pay out) and went for 50% of the pension accrued in the marriage which was £75k but that is a fixed amount, not interest gaining, which can only be drawn at state pension age, with no lump sum option and cannot be transferred into her existing pension. She has another 30ish years to access that, by which time what will it be worth in real terms?

This is going to be a bit complex because a teachers pension isn’t a pot like other DC schemes are. It’s a DB scheme so you will defo need advice/actuary.

For the values you are talking about re both equity and pension you’ll swallow that in just a few communications from solicitors

I’d take the offer - you work and have 25 years to accrue your own - and move im with your life. If you start arguing you’ll spend more in costs than you get back

How long has he been in the teachers pension as that amount could be low...did he get a CETV value?
He is correct however that a complete valuation of both pensions could be around 1.5k. it would have to be both pensions to ensure equality and it took take several months.

However it's unlikely you would get much more and legal costs start eating into payout pretty quickly. Focus on what you can do to rebuild your financial future, including building a decent pension for yourself. Everyone feels worse off after a divorce however in 5 years time you could be in a much better position.

So has said he started his TP in 2015.

This is what I'm worrying about, if I go back with a counter offer on the pension he will go back on the say he isnt willing to give the 5k extra.

Stop worrying- you can say no.
"john i want to do this without lawyers but this offer isn’t reasonable. If we were to go down the lawyer route (because this isnt favorable or fair) I'm actually pretty confident a court ordered split will give me a higher % - albeit our assets be eaten by lawyers. Are you confident and willing to take your chances in court? If not, can you reconsider my proposal and look at it practically not emotionally. We both want the best for our child and to move on. I know its difficult but my request is not unreasonable or unfair.

His offer is barely fair (youd need to squint) and he hasn't exactly sweetened the deal.

Honestly try and avoid the lawyers (depressing as it is you dont have significant assets)

Also agree the teachers pension is tricky but i wouldnt get into the weeds on it focus on high level objectives.

Personally I'd go back and say if he can agree to 45% of his pension (vs 40% - make sure you agree percent not £ amount) you can close this and be done and dusted. Additionally you will drive all the paperwork on the divorce and make things as easy as poss for him.
If not, it will prob be lawyer time.

Note: this doesnt mean actually lawyering up, you can (if he considers and declines) go back to his OG offer.

Some times its best to just get it done and move on.
His offer isn't a particularly "good" one though.

In these circumstances where there is so little on the table to fight about I'd try to avoid solicitors. Bills of several £k take no time to accrue and that more than the disputed amount.

Agreed but its also a case of who blinks first.

I'd def be soft signaling that I'm not dead against solicitors if needed...and asking for slightly more (as per above)

If she makes it clear to him she doesnt want solicitors, she weakens her position and leaves her open to being pushed into accepting a worse offer when arguably she needs a higher % split due to primary custody and lower income.