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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Teen left home alone for 6/7 hours an evening on dad's days ?

28 replies

Peaceatlast40s · 26/04/2025 09:14

Ex has teenage daughter 2 or 3 set nights a week. He does shift work so sometimes home 8pm but some nights (2 this week) not until 10pm. She caught the bus to his, cooked herself dinner and basically just sits there alone until bedtime, to see him for possibly 1 hrs before school in the morning. I've made it clear to him that I am happy to swap any days that his shifts mean he won't be around (i work school hours and he has his rota months in advance). I have also told her she doesn't have to go on these nights if this situation makes her uncomfortable. She says she's ok with it but isnt the type of child to speak up and make a fuss and he's very controlling and overbearing. Am I overreacting to be upset by the thought of her in this situation ? This is a new arrangement as his house was closer before and she would always come to me from school for a few hours first. She's 14.

OP posts:
BeerAndMusic · 26/04/2025 18:59

AnotherNC321 · 26/04/2025 11:04

Agree with this!

At 14 I was in my element when left at home for long periods. I have found memories of sneaking angel delight upstairs and playing sims/chatting on MSN until falling asleep.

Her dad is happy with the arrangement and it sounds like your daughter is too.

Some people need/enjoy alone time.

Agree with this.If she is happy and he is happy, no problem

Peaceatlast40s · 26/04/2025 19:18

Really interesting to see the variety of opinion and I'm glad I got it off my chest. I was very angry this morning (when she was dropped off at 7 am as he had made plans that didn't include her on his day off) but I've calmed down now and I will go back to biting my tongue. I'm very glad I didn't have to navigate co-parenting with little ones which must be far more complicated. I am a worrier by nature and perhaps a little overprotective.

OP posts:
Dithercats · 26/04/2025 22:20

I wouldn't like it, but my DD would love it.
Freedom.
Make she knows to call dad & you if he doesn't return home at the right time, and call.you after 30 minutes so you can collect if he hasn't responded.

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