Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Nisi imminent, STBXH will not leave!

40 replies

CreamTeaTotty · 16/04/2017 18:37

My Nisi is a matter of days away, STBXH is still in a weird denial and still living in the house. He's made some half-arsed attempts to look at flats. His name is on the mortgage but he's agreed in mediation I can stay with the kids in the house and he will move out.

What do I do?! Can I chuck him out when the Absolute comes through?! End of my tether. He's a twat!

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/04/2017 19:12

What are you doing about getting his name off the mortgage? If he's agree to move out in mediation, is that enforceable like a Court Order would be?

No ideas on getting him to leave sorry.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 16/04/2017 19:16

What does you solicitor say?

Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 16/04/2017 19:38

Will email solicitor for Tuesday. We assumed he was going back in Jan/Feb (he said he would and hasn't).

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 16/04/2017 19:39

Mediator helps us produce Form E for Court and then I'm hoping that the Absolute means I can chuck him out and change locks. Nobody has confirmed this though!

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 16/04/2017 19:40

Mortgage will be put in both names with him agreeing to pay it

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/04/2017 19:47

Yes, definitely speak to your Solicitor. Have you submitted your form e?

MrsBertBibby · 17/04/2017 08:56

No you can't chuck him out on decree nisi as the house is in joint names.

Have you got a memorandum of understanding from the mediator? Or is the mediator signing off the form A so you can issue because you can't reach full agreement?

Mediators don't usually complete form E!

MrsBertBibby · 17/04/2017 08:56

Sorry, on decree Absolute.

Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 11:59

Form E not complete yet - we are paying her to help us with it.there will be two more sessions before we reach Absolute.

So if I can't chuck him out at Absolute WTF do I do?!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 12:01

I really don't get this. I thought that by divorcing the bugger he would automatically HAVE to leave! Divorced people don't live together FFS!

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/04/2017 14:33

I would strongly recommend that you submit your Form E before the absolute. At the moment he can do what he likes as nothing is enforceable.

JanetBrown2015 · 17/04/2017 15:10

Why should he leave rather than you though as the house is in joint names?

The point is you need first before absolute to reach agreement on all the finances, have that drawn up and then sealed by the court -that eg might say which of you will keep the house or buy the other out and onlyw hen that's all done eg he taken off the mortgage and you buying him out and he gets the money and property transfer done would he move out or house sold and proceeds split or whatever.

Willow2017 · 17/04/2017 16:02

If his name is on the deeds and the mortgage then he has as much right to stay there as you do.

Until you have everything signed and he agrees in writing that he will leave the house for you and kids to stay in while still paying the mortgage he has a legal right to stay in his own house.

Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 18:21

He has had an 8 year affair.
He's seeing his GF 2-3 times a week.
He should leave.
I've had enough!

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 18:23

She's married... they seem to enjoy it all being 'forbidden'. Utterly sick of his behaviour. Divorcing him is the only way I can end things as I can't afford to leave him. But now it seems that he can ignore even divorce...

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 18:25

Janet and Willow - see above.
He's a heartless twat and shouldn't still be here.

OP posts:
Everytimeref · 17/04/2017 18:30

Only a court order can force him to leave. Until you have sorted finances and have it signed by the court he has a right to remain.

thistoosha11pass · 17/04/2017 18:32

sending you Flowers he sounds like a prick. You deserve better and well done for striving for better. I am at the start of this journey, dreading this happening to me!

Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 18:33

Yes - I'm looking into court orders next. He's not violent or abusive though. Just fucking annoying and not leaving. It's a grey area! :(

OP posts:
Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 17/04/2017 18:37

Can I ask what is happening regarding utility bills? Make sure you get them split so when he leaves he takes 50%of the debts with him.

Viviennemary · 17/04/2017 18:48

His behaviour has been bad. But the point is I don't think you can just chuck him out of a house he partly owns and pays the mortgage on. Usually there is a financial agreement and the house is sold and the proceeds shared or one party buys the other out. Is your solicitor not advising you on this matter. He might be having second thoughts on how he will manage to pay his rent for a flat and continue to pay the mortgage as well.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/04/2017 20:42

He's has been a twat that's for sure but yiu really, really to get the form E submitted tomorrow! If he's telling you to do it after the Decree Absolute, he's p,aging you for a fool.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/04/2017 20:43

*playing.

Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 21:17

No - we are only just at Nisi stage - Form E really will go in before Absolute. No fool here!

I can't afford to buy him out OR rent. The only workable solution is he moves out and rents. All discussed during mediation. He earns 57K, I earn 6K plus tax credits.

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamTeaTotty · 17/04/2017 21:19

The mortgage is only £267 a month. He can easily afford to continue paying this, allow me to stay and rent elsewhere. I'll be transferring all the utilities into my name as soon as he leaves.

OP posts: