Nisi imminent, STBXH will not leave!

[CreamTeaTotty]

My Nisi is a matter of days away, STBXH is still in a weird denial and still living in the house. He's made some half-arsed attempts to look at flats. His name is on the mortgage but he's agreed in mediation I can stay with the kids in the house and he will move out.

What do I do?! Can I chuck him out when the Absolute comes through?! End of my tether. He's a twat!

[rightsofwomen]

If you get a Court Order saying that the decision is that you will stay in the home and he leaves then he must do that, or be in breach of the CO.

Turns our breaching CO's isn't worth much unless you pursue it (at your expense), but that's how it works.

[CreamTeaTotty]

I still don't understand the process of how he can be 'made to go' once it's gone to court and the Decree Absolute granted. He's saying he won't leave, even at that point.

[CreamTeaTotty]

I have not contacted the OW's husband no. I didn't think it would help matters, just make it even more stressful.

[CreamTeaTotty]

We are definitely completing our Form Es with the help of our Mediator - it's formed the basis of our sessions so far. This is via Relate and how they do it. The mediation sesssions have not 'failed' yet (but I think they will).

[PovertyPain]

Does the other woman's husband know that she's screwing around behind his back? I would be telling her to persuade him to get out or you'll be telling him.

[MrsBertBibby]

No, form E is a long, 30 page form which the Court will order you both to file to set out your respective financial positions.

You don't do that together, and mediators don't help with it.

Form A is the form you need if (as I think is probably the case) mediation has failed, and you need to trigger the court process. A mediator will need to sign one page of that form, so that the court knows you have tried mediation, it has failed, and therefore you can go ahead with the court process.

Neither have anything to do with child arrangements. If you can't agree those, you need the mediator to sign the relevant page of a C100 so you can start court proceedings about the kids.

Alternatively, if you have in fact got a financial agreement, the mediator needs to prepare a memorandum of understanding and an open financial statement, and you need to tae those to a family solicitor who will advise you on the merits, and turn them into a consent application for the Court to consider.

Once the financial order is made and the divorce is final, he can be made to go.

[CreamTeaTotty]

I've been emotionally and financially abused for years. I'm sort of used to it. I had assumed decree Absolute would end it all.

[rightsofwomen]

Sadly the court system as it stands feeds out of the hands of emotionally abusive people who use delay and control as a form of abuse.
Speeding things up costs ( ie getting your sol to write letters), and the system is painfully slow.

Mine has been gone over 6 months now and of course it was worth it but it has been at a huge cost to my health.

[CreamTeaTotty]

I'm thinking a court order may become necessary sadly, awaiting a response from my solicitor about it.

[CreamTeaTotty]

Rights - faaaark! 3 more months! Bloody hell!

[CreamTeaTotty]

Form E sorts out the finances and access re Kids - that's what I've been told.

[MrsBertBibby]

OP what do you think form E does?

[rightsofwomen]

Nope, you can't chuck him out. Only a court order or him not having name on deeds can make that happen.
Sorry.
I had to live with my ex for a further 3 months following Absolute, which is when my name was on house - even then he didn't go till latest possible time. It was awful.

[Willow2017]

I never said it was right. I just pointed out that legally you cannot make him leave until its all done and dusted with his agreement.
Its totally crap but its true.

I hope he keeps his promise, you get the paperwork filed and he leaves asap.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

That's good OP

[CreamTeaTotty]

The mortgage is only £267 a month. He can easily afford to continue paying this, allow me to stay and rent elsewhere. I'll be transferring all the utilities into my name as soon as he leaves.

[CreamTeaTotty]

No - we are only just at Nisi stage - Form E really will go in before Absolute. No fool here!

I can't afford to buy him out OR rent. The only workable solution is he moves out and rents. All discussed during mediation. He earns 57K, I earn 6K plus tax credits.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

*playing.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

He's has been a twat that's for sure but yiu really, really to get the form E submitted tomorrow! If he's telling you to do it after the Decree Absolute, he's p,aging you for a fool.

[Viviennemary]

His behaviour has been bad. But the point is I don't think you can just chuck him out of a house he partly owns and pays the mortgage on. Usually there is a financial agreement and the house is sold and the proceeds shared or one party buys the other out. Is your solicitor not advising you on this matter. He might be having second thoughts on how he will manage to pay his rent for a flat and continue to pay the mortgage as well.

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

Can I ask what is happening regarding utility bills? Make sure you get them split so when he leaves he takes 50%of the debts with him.

[CreamTeaTotty]

Yes - I'm looking into court orders next. He's not violent or abusive though. Just fucking annoying and not leaving. It's a grey area! :(

[thistoosha11pass]

sending you he sounds like a prick. You deserve better and well done for striving for better. I am at the start of this journey, dreading this happening to me!

[Everytimeref]

Only a court order can force him to leave. Until you have sorted finances and have it signed by the court he has a right to remain.

[CreamTeaTotty]

Janet and Willow - see above.
He's a heartless twat and shouldn't still be here.