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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

SEX...come on guys-how often do you expect/get it?

102 replies

MusicLover · 26/09/2006 13:35

Sorry to invade the mens room, but think I need advise from a male point of view, & women if they want to add....

We average 2/3 times a week, but that doesn't seem to be enough for my dh. He doesnt say so-he's just moody about it, which infuriates me.
Although we have a great sex life, sometimes I just feel pressured which ends up putting me off. To be honest I dont think any guys will understand this but Im sure plenty of women will.

He sends me texts throughout the day-asking if Im up for it? Just recently I told him Id prefer it if he were more spontanious & wished he let me initiate it sometimes. It worked well for a while, but like most women I know I could go a week without sex & not be too bothered, but my dh is. He watches porn on the pc but only when Im at work in the evening. It bothered me at first, but I just sort of got used to it & put it to the back of my mind, & admit to watching it on my own too.
He was away last week for few days & the first thing on his mind is sex! We had sex on that night, then 2 nights later (which I initiated), then the following night he send me a video on my mobile phone of his willy with the message saying "do you want some of this sexy" I acnowledged it as a laugh because I really wasnt in the mood for it, but he spent the rest of the night with a face on him.
So Im feeling rather tedious & pressured about the whole "sex thing" now.

But to be honest we are a really loving couple who have been together for few yrs with 2 kids aged 9 & 3. We are very kissy, touchy, feely people.

Am I overreacting or is he asking to much of me.

OP posts:
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 11:24

Hmmmm

How often do I expect it? Whenever I am horny of course!

How often do you get it? At every available moment

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 11:25

Dont tell the wife in answer to your question "how many times a week would we like it..."

I feel hard done by if I dont get it at least once a day. I am happier and more satisfied with 3 times a day though. I have a very high sex drive though.

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 11:25

Some men are hornier than others, though.

I went out w/a guy who wanted it more than once a day, every day.

That was too much for me, and that was back before I was knackered from having kids and was like a house on fire.

DontTellTheWife · 27/09/2006 11:36

Tamba - 3 times a day, every day?

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 11:43

Yes

I do have a shockingly high sex drive but luckily its not a problem at the moment although I can see how it could be if I was in a relationship where the other person could/wouldnt keep up.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 11:44

couldnt

DontTellTheWife · 27/09/2006 11:48

Tamba - you are proof there must be a god

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 11:51

I wouldn't have time to have sex 3/x day.

Not w/these f*cking albatrosses of jobs around my neck.

crazydazy · 27/09/2006 11:51

We have sex on average twice a week but if its that time of the month or just before can be once a week. DP has never ever pressured me, he always lets me decide and he is more than happy to oblige. He has always been this way which is one of the reasons I am very happy with him. I have been out with men before who pressured me and in the end it put me off because I hate to think of sex as something which is expected. I love spontaneity and also surprising my DP with wearing some sexy undies or something like that.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 11:52

its not about quantity though is it

quality is really the issue

prettymum · 27/09/2006 11:53

3-4 times a week, if we havent knocked out on the couch

crazydazy · 27/09/2006 11:53

How are you definining quantity though Scousewife?

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 11:55

Definatly DSW

If the person I am sleeping with isnt compatable with me (oh ok, if they are crap ) then I lose all enthusiasm for it and would rather watch paint dry. If the sex is good then I am happy to do it all day!! I love everything about it and it makes me feel good. Cant think of much else I would rather do

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 11:56

a wam bam 3 times a day
would chafe your fanjo

now a good sorting out 2/3 times a week
is fine

I am not into quickies
they dont hit the spot quite like a good sesh iykwim

crazydazy · 27/09/2006 11:57

You should be called Tamba the horny slayer!!!

crazydazy · 27/09/2006 11:58

Oooh sometimes I like a quickie especially if I am tired or if the kids are downstairs

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 11:58

I know exactly what you mean, DSW!

You're speaking my language!

Of course, after a night at the pub, there's nothing like a proper rodgering.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 11:58

The odd quicky is fab though imo. I love foreplay too but sometimes only a quicky will do! I put aside a good few hours a day for sex

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 11:59

you girls crack me up pmsl here

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 12:00

I wish!

Let's see, 8PM, put girls to bed.

Then MN a bit to wind down.

Then to do the chores - wash dishes, load the washing, fold clothes, bake, prepare for tea, pack lunch, etc.

Then shower and MN before DH comes home and bed.

Nope, don't have several hours a day to spend on sex, unfortunately.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 12:01

expat i like a drunken fumble too

lose all your inhibitions (I have not got many of them left tbh)

the seth breath in th morning puts me off though

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 12:02

DS1 at school
12pm DS2 nap time
sex
sex
sex
3.30pm get DS1

Then when H has the kids for 4 days I dont have any time restrictions so....

My house is a mess

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 12:03

I dont do early morning sex, unless its in the spoons position so you can avoid the morning breath!! The odd occassion of being woken up 'nicely' is fine though.

crazydazy · 27/09/2006 12:03

seth breath???? I thought it was "death breath"!!!!

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 12:04

i'm NOT a morning person myself, DSW.

thankfully, both DH and i are night owls.