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What;s the worst song you have ever heard?

368 replies

UnquietDad · 31/07/2007 17:59

For several years, for me, it was Puffy P Diddy Daddy's drive-by murder of "Every Breath You Take", inexplicably re-titled "I'll Be Missing You", and even more inexplicably Number One for 6 weeks in 1997.

But now it's something I had the misfortune to hear the other day, a collaboration between someone called Nelly and someone called Tim McGraw.

The former presumably has enough bling and "attitude" and stupid sportswear for him not to mind people pointing at him and saying "you've got a girl's name". The latter is one of those people you only find in the American charts, clad in shades and a black cowboy hat and sporting a camp goatee. Yes, it's the world's first rap-country crossover, and it is every bit as bad as that sounds.

It meanders along for four minutes (although it seems much, much longer) with no vestige of a tune and one or both of Nelly and Tim growling "it's allll in mah heeeee-d".

The video gives away the fact that the two of them haven't even met and probably recorded the thing in two separate studios thousand of miles apart, thus betraying the "song"'s origins as a marketing-man's dream. Presumably it's aiming at snaring a predominantly-southern-state white redneck audience and an urban black audience at the same time. I note also from the video that "Nelly" also wears a plaster on his head (heeeee-d), presumably because he really isn't a wack def jam muthafeckin brutha from da streetz at all, but a bit of a wuss who got scratched by someone else in the playground.

It's such an unmitigated load of shite. And it'll probably lead to more amalgamations of the two genres: "Mah Baby Dang Done Left Me (So My Homeez Gonna Fill Da Bitch Wit Lead)" perhaps? Or "I Ain't Gonna Hang Wit Ya Posse No More (Cos You Said Mah Cousin's Dawg Was Ugly)"?

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UnquietDad · 31/07/2007 23:52

Oh yes, hate "WInd Beneath My Wings" (just drones on and on and on) but I rather like the inane exuberance of "The Final Countdown".

The quite extraordinarily talent-free 50 Cent got heckled off at Glasto (or was it Reading?) with bottles full of piss. Just what he deserved! Da muthafeckin bro from da streetz and his posse of homies eventually got the message and left the stage. That's our version of a drive-by, Centie.

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UnquietDad · 31/07/2007 23:53

I suppose some of van Morrison's songs are OK, but I can't stand the whiny, growly voice he sings them in. he appears to sing without moving his lips. I have the same problem with Bob Dylan.

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moondog · 31/07/2007 23:53
moondog · 31/07/2007 23:55

At drive by comments,not aspersions cast on His Bobness and Van.
I know someone who was in a van with Van (really!) once.Said he was fucked off so did 20 odd miles in second gear.Noone dared say a thing.
Have gone off him a leelde bit since finding out he is married to a former Miss Oirland who is decades younger.

Blokes.

Predictable as the sunrise.

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 31/07/2007 23:56

Des - Sex Bomb. I think that's as low as a song can sink.

Nostalgic horrors... Alexander McQueen and Cherrelle? singing a Monday, Tuesday, yaddah yaddah thing - irritating. Tight Fit, In the Jungle (wishing they had been in the bastard jungle getting blitzed by nasty poisonous biting things). Kid Creole and his airhead Coconuts. Farkin' Shakin' Stevens.

Firestarter is an amazingly good song. I love it.

paulaplumpbottom · 31/07/2007 23:56

Walk the Dinosaur - I don't know who did it, it was trult awful

moondog · 31/07/2007 23:56

Kid Creole is/was a genius.

MotherFunk · 31/07/2007 23:58

Message withdrawn

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 31/07/2007 23:58

Anita Ward - Ring My Bell. I'd ring her bloody neck.

paulaplumpbottom · 31/07/2007 23:59

There was also anything fromC&C Music Factory

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 01/08/2007 00:00

Walk the Dinosaur - was that Was Not Was. And didn't Kim Basinger have something to do with it?

Chris Isaacs - Blue Hotel is shit too.

Vanilla Ice. FFS.

MotherFunk · 01/08/2007 00:00

Message withdrawn

Carmenere · 01/08/2007 00:00

Any song by any member of the cast of any soap opera qualifies in my book with a special place for Anita Dobson's rendition of the EE theme tune.

Pinkchampagne · 01/08/2007 00:01

Jason & Kylie singing especially for you, that was bad!

paulaplumpbottom · 01/08/2007 00:01

I dunno I like Matina McCutcheon ok

moondog · 01/08/2007 00:02

Sounds horrendous Motherfunk

(Although could do the soul and funk)

Carmenere · 01/08/2007 00:03

Oh no Paula, no

paulaplumpbottom · 01/08/2007 00:04

Well I have only heard the one song

UnquietDad · 01/08/2007 00:04

I wouldn't have been there shouting "traitor", I'd have been there shouting "sing without doing that bloody whining!"

Kim Basinger was on the other Was Not Was hit "Shake Your Head".

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MotherFunk · 01/08/2007 00:04

Message withdrawn

Pinkchampagne · 01/08/2007 00:05

Many moons ago, I did buy the awful Nick Berry song, which I am very ashamed to admit! Think it was because I fancied him at the time!

UnquietDad · 01/08/2007 00:06

I predict that at least ONE of you out there bought Stefan Dennis's single "DunnitmakeyaFEEEEELgood"...

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paulaplumpbottom · 01/08/2007 00:06

Anyone remember (shudders) Millie Vanilli I don't care who sang the songs they were awful

Easywriter · 01/08/2007 00:06

Too many candidates to comment really but it has always been apparent to me that Celine Dion ought to concentrate on filling her mouth with food to overcome her battle with anorexia whilst simultaneously shutting the f**k up!!

Sorry to any anorexics out there.

jura · 01/08/2007 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.