Cost of living help!

[Michele99]

I’m not sure what I need from this but I just really don’t know where to turn!
Myself and my partner own our house and have 4 children aged between 2 and 15. We managed just fine when we decided to have our daughter and bought our home when she was born.
The world has now completely messed things up and we can barely make ends meet between the cost of our shopping bill, utility bills, fuel and the mortgage. It really is unbearable. I stay at home with the youngest children as it costs too much for nursery and childminders so I would be working for no reason. Also my partner works in agriculture so we are unable to work around his hours for me to bring in an income.
My partner earns a decent wage and things were fine before everything started going up in price! The mortgage payments will be going up early next year too. I genuinely don’t know where to turn or what to do because it just seems every single penny goes on bills and living costs! This is never going to end and I just don’t know what else to do to make things easier! 😢

Most households need two wages coming in to survive particularly with four kids to support. You can claim up to 85% of childcare costs through Universal credit or tax credits if you receive those.

Have you checked that you're claiming everything you are entitled to?

Unfortunately from there it's a case of cutting back or earning more. Could you not work evenings/weekends?

We are in the same boat. I know that’s not very helpful but you’re definitely not alone.

We unfortunately aren’t entitled to anything due to my partners wage.
Working evenings/weekends is also not an option as my partners working day starts/ends at whatever time is required day to day so I can’t plan around this.
I could possibly work from home but I have never worked from a desk, I have always worked in care or childcare so I really wouldn’t know where to start!
we managed to cut back on food shopping but then it all went up in price again and we already cut back to the near minimum! Our youngest has a lot of food allergies so she requires specific food which is never cheap either. I cook meals every night which can stretch to my partners lunch the next day but even this is becoming a struggle with everything shrinking in size and growing in cost!
I don’t think I have ever felt so lost in life!

I had never or wanted to work from home until a 3 month contract recently, and it opened my eyes.... Please look in to this option, you might be surprised, so many companies are very flexible nowadays working around families like yours....

Thank you for this! Currently looking through indeed but most you need experience or some sort of qualification. I will continue to look into this though as i do feel this is our only option.

You're in a difficult situation as agriculture is known for long hours and obviously you need a really decent wage to pay a mortgage and support a large family.

Would you be able to set yourself up as a childminder? What about an overnight care job, assuming your DP is at home at night, plus you also have a 15 YO. It's not ideal but would they be able to babysit the younger ones to allow you to work without paying for childcare?

But it depends how desperate the situation is especially when the mortgage goes up. Is it a case of not even being able to afford the mortgage and basic bills, or just that you don't have enough spare for non essentials to feel comfortable?

Could be worth having a really thorough review of your finances, questioning every expense.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Things might get easier when you're entitled to free childcare and your youngest goes to school so it might be a case of hanging on until then, even if it means something like extending your mortgage term when it renews (you can shorten it later).

It's good that you worked in childcare. As pp said, could you set yourself up as a CM or even just do some babysitting or wraparound care if you have too many little ones of your own to make the numbers work? It's in the news today how many parents are struggling for childcare and an ad hoc/casual arrangement might suit you and them for some extra help/cash right now. Very few people could afford 4 DC without bringing some £ in even without CoL crisis, so the obvious thing is for you to use your much-needed skills one way or another. Hope you can figure it out.

If £50 - 80 a month would take the pressure off you could look at

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/4667523-earn-ps10-a-day-new-and-ongoing-thread

It's not great pay, but you can do it from a computer/phone at home so can make a bit of extra.

We use the ASDA Just Essentials range for our online shop, and it has been a game changer, I'm avoiding the local Tesco like the plague!
Do you have any community food shops nearby? usually pay something like £5 a year to join, then can buy v.v. cheap food there, and there are usually free items being given away as well. Yesterday I was close to accessing a local warm hub as can't afford heating on in the day, but children had their electric blankets on when they got in plus the central heating for an hour at night. It's grim-have you looked at switching utilities, cancelling subscriptions, washing on 30 degrees etc?

We are in the same boat but with 2 incomes and only one child so it must be even more stressful for you! It’s making me physically and mentally ill, I have had to call in sick today and now I’m sitting in a cold house despairing. I don’t know what to do either, we can’t even join the nearest food club as it’s full.

Unfortunately: 6 people and 1 income is non-ideal whether a cost of living crisis or not. Not working because of childcare is a false logic especially if you see it as "working for no reason". The experience you say you lack, presumably also the pension you lack - comes through working, unfortunately.

You will need to make a mid term plan to develop a work plan, get hold of some free/easy to plough on at qualifications, and in the interim find ways to earn money working from home, including putting that childcare experience to use.

Advice on own brand shopping and batch cooking might well also be useful but fundamentally 6 mouths to feed but 1 pair of hands earning is unlikely to be very comfortable.

One income is just not going to work with 4 children. You need to think long term as well regarding career & pension. You need to work in some way or other. Start a small business from home maybe?

Is the 15 year old mature enough to mind the two year for a few hours when there is an overlap of your husband working ? or are the other kids young too ?

If you have always worked in childcare can you set up a childminding business?

I do think it’s quite rare to be able to afford 4 dc on a single income. Even if your dc earns £100k a year, with tax, a couple earning £50k each would take home more. With pre schoolers I did find it was a case of having a very tight budget, dipping into savings and then, once mine got their 15 hours free from age 3 (as it was back then) I started working. So it was only 2 very lean years. Dh was commuting too at the time fuel was rocketing in price so that was really tough.

check you are on the best bank account deal etc. we also just got rid of our landline for much cheaper internet costs. Everything helps.

Cleaning is very lucrative. Any opportunity to clean a house a day? If your husband can set his own hours I wonder if he could free up a couple of hours to tag team you?

Can you list incoming/ outgoings- perhaps mn can see something you can’t.
everyone saying you should work might not appreciate the childcare costs of 1-3 kids (your eldest noted as 15)- holidays etc.

In terms of COL there are some glimmers of hope. Energy prices are coming down. Wages are higher. Inflation has reduced, thus mortgage rates are going down. Food prices have come down in all supermarkets.

You need to find yourself a way to bring in some money. That is your decision to make. Good luck. 👍

How about child minding if you have a background in child care?

Ironing from home?

The only solution is to bring more money into the household. If your child is 2 they can’t be too far off free childcare hours. Would you really be earning the same as you’re paying in childcare? There’s some help out there for childcare, even if paying less tax etc. Agree with looking for something part time from home. You could pick it up when child is napping or in the evenings. Four children is incredibly expensive and one income just isn’t feasible, probably never was but definitely isn’t now. Good luck

People who start a home baking business always seem to flourish. If you make good cakes that might be a good option. You just need to contact local council for food hygiene approval at home.

Almost no-one will make any money from making cakes at home.

If you price them to include all costs and labour, even at NMW, they're so expensive that almost no-one will buy them, unless you're making and selling large quantities so have economy of scale.

WFH doesn't really solve the childcare issue though,.
You could possibly look into being a childminder if you have previous childcare experience OP.