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Original poster

Kids, other parents house & corona. Sorry

37 replies

time2tork · 13/12/2021 09:41

So DD9 has tested positive for Coronavirus.

I have just gotten over it, my partner had it at the same time - we were wiped out, but nothing more than a bad cold.

My DD7 isn't YET testing positive.

Their dad still wants to pick them up on Saturday until after Christmas. I'd prefer to keep them here until they are not contagious anymore, it's inevitable the younger one is going to test positive.

I don't particularly want them 2 1/2 hours away at their dads house, being poorly or their dad then becoming poorly and having them in his care.

I say from experience because looking after kids and having Coronavirus is not fun, I'd rather stop the spread.

Can't seem to get it through to their dad to just wait 10 days so he doesn't get ill while he has them -

Although he could catch the virus at any point from anywhere, I don't want to knowingly send my sick kids off to make their dad and step mum sick.

OP posts:
ChangeChingyChange · 13/12/2021 09:44

YABU why can't he look after them the same way you could if needed? It's absolutely not inevitable that the 7 year old will catch it. I would see how the kids feel, if they want to go and he also wants them too then I would unless there's a massive backstory.

buckeejit · 13/12/2021 09:45

Yabu, send them to their dad

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2021 09:46

He's an adult though and it's his decision.

If he thinks he can cope then let him do so, afterall you did.

Frazzled2207 · 13/12/2021 09:47

Yab a bit u.

My 6 yo has just had it. It’s day 10 today and the 8 yo has not caught it yet. They’re all over each other and share a room so definitely not inevitable.
And the 6yo was not remotely “poorly” and obviously being at home has been boring but he hasn’t needed any special “looking after”.

SpringRainbow · 13/12/2021 09:48

If he knows the risk and is willing then as this is their child’s father I don’t see how you can keep them away.

It’s not inevitable that your other child will catch covid. It’s not inevitable that their father will catch covid. It’s also not inevitable that if he was to catch covid that he would be seriously ill.

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 09:49

Dd9 should not go, it may technically be just about legal (it's a bit wooly) legal but only a fool would insist.

However there is no reason why dd7 should not go.

Original poster
time2tork · 13/12/2021 09:50

I just know it's incredibly hard to try and look after the children when the parents have coronavirus.

And this is over the Christmas period - they've already missed the Panto and doing fun Christmas things because my partner and I have been stuck in for the past 10 days with the kids.

If their dad and step mum end up getting sick too they'll be stuck watching their phones for another 10 days rather than being entertained with Christmas craft, baking etc.

He can have them, I'd just prefer to wait 10 days from today so the kids are in the clear from spreading.

Plus if my DD7 gets sick she's 2 1/2 hours away and obviously I'd want to comfort her.

But thank you for your responses.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/12/2021 09:50

@Comefromaway

Dd9 should not go, it may technically be just about legal (it's a bit wooly) legal but only a fool would insist.

However there is no reason why dd7 should not go.

Only a fool would insist on wanting to take care of their poorly child?
Cosmois · 13/12/2021 09:52

So you want to stop their Dad having them over Christmas?

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 09:52

No, only a fool would insist on moving a child currently positive with coronavirus who SHOULD be self isolating in their normal place of residence with a parent, whilst they are still positive.

PicsInRed · 13/12/2021 09:53

The legalities were covered off very early in the pandemic. Child contact continues as normal.

You need to allow you ex and partner to make their own decisions about their health and if that decision is to take their chances and pick up the kids, you need to hand the kids over for contact.

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 09:55

@PicsInRed

The legalities were covered off very early in the pandemic. Child contact continues as normal.

You need to allow you ex and partner to make their own decisions about their health and if that decision is to take their chances and pick up the kids, you need to hand the kids over for contact.

From what I saw it wasn't actually cut and dried as the statement made implied the child should remain where they are but acknowledged that it might possibly be an exception depending on circumstances (court order) but they would not be drawn into a definitive answer.
Original poster
time2tork · 13/12/2021 09:55

@Cosmois I have said the eldest will be in the clear on 23rd December and he can pick up then.

He can pick up the youngest unless she tests positive but I don't see why he'd risk it.

The plan was he was having them from 18th-28th December but I have suggested he get them both on 23rd (or just one depending on who does or doesn't get sick next).

OP posts:
MalbecandToast · 13/12/2021 09:55

There is no guarantees at all that they will get it. When DH had covid myself and the 4 children didn't catch it despite no social distancing at all and still sharing a bed etc. He is their father, they need to go and he will take care of them if they feel poorly

Youdoyoutoday · 13/12/2021 10:00

I'm with you OP, you dont want to spread it, perfectly reasonable.
You don't want your kids to get bored if their dad and step mum get ill, perfectly reasonable.

I think they should stay with you.

Original poster
time2tork · 13/12/2021 10:07

@Youdoyoutoday exactly. Maybe I just send them and then turn up with "I told you so" in 5 days time when he's caught corona and begging me to pick the kids up!!

But he's the type to let the kids suffer in the boredom than ask me to go get them if I prove right and he catches it.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 13/12/2021 10:07

YABU. It seems that you just don't want them to spend Christmas with your ex even though it seems to be his turn to have them. Even throughout 2020 during lockdowns children of separated parents were to continue going to the other parent. You may be dressing this up as some type of (faux) concern but their father is as capable as caring for them as you.

CheesyFootballsAreEvil · 13/12/2021 10:09

As a step mum I wish my DSC's mum was more like you. You are right to not want to risk sending DSC until the increased threat is clear.

Original poster
time2tork · 13/12/2021 10:12

@SeasonFinale I was supposed to be flying to a luxury adult only hotel in the sun for Christmas until they decided not let unvaccinated people in - I was hugely on board for their dad to have them this year!!!

My vaccinated partner caught Covid from me so the vaccine didn't work and I just don't want my kids around more illness if their dad gets it and my kids have spent 30 days or more snowballing in illness.

Just want to stop the spread if I can.

But ultimately happy to send them and let
That Dickhead get ill 😂

OP posts:
Mybalconyiscracking · 13/12/2021 10:14

@Comefromaway

No, only a fool would insist on moving a child currently positive with coronavirus who SHOULD be self isolating in their normal place of residence with a parent, whilst they are still positive.
You need to lock positive children into a small box with a grille on the front and feed them from the end of a 2m long stick.
CrimbleCrumble1 · 13/12/2021 10:15

time2tork what so you mean the vaccine didn’t work? Did your partner die?

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 10:18

There is a huge gulf between locking positive childrne in a box and moving them around the country uncessesarily.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2021 10:22

My vaccinated partner caught Covid from me so the vaccine didn't work

Haha 🙄

Original poster
time2tork · 13/12/2021 10:24

@CrimbleCrumble1 No he didn't die, he just got poorly for the same amount of time I did, the same way I did. And I'm unvaccinated - being pregnant I didn't want it just yet.

We survived but it just sucked for the kids - we have a big house I tried to stay a metre away from them but they got it anyway.

Their dads house is a lot smaller.

I believe the dad has now had a conversation with their step Mum and now he is happy to collect them after 10 days.

So I guess that's cleared up the thread.

I'll leave it on here though, incase others are in the same boat!

OP posts:
ExplodingCarrots · 13/12/2021 10:32

Oh Op, you do realise you can still catch Covid even if you're vaccinated? 🤦‍♀️

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