How does one go clubbing slowly and cautiously?

[StealthPolarBear]

Wear a very big dress?

Dance in slow motion.

Everyone needs to wear 12 inch platform shoes. Guaranteed slow and cautious.

I have to walk slowly and cautiously when I'm bladdered.

But now they have to move at speed to vaccination Centre if they want to slow dance in September!

Some excellent practical suggestions. Can anyone develop a new dance?

Easy get wasted and dance with mystery

So big dress big shoes and drink a lot

Need to wear a dress with a large hooped skirt!

I was thinking more mind altering substance

Alcohol not dependable

That dance that goths used to do 25 years ago, where they barely moved. That could work.

Wear a nitroglycerine hat.

So big dress big shoes and drink a lot

Sounds like my experience circa 1996.

100% end of disco slow dancing?

@fluffedup

That dance that goths used to do 25 years ago, where they barely moved. That could work.

Yup. Screwing a light bulb in in slow motion alternating with sweeping the floor with one's hair.

Dance around your handbag to create distance?

Smoke a LOT of marijuiana beforehand. That'll stop you all raving and jumping around

I will pass all these suggestions on to DS. He's going to a nightclub for the first time in his life tonight!

Listen to Kraftwerk

@StiggyZardust

I will pass all these suggestions on to DS. He's going to a nightclub for the first time in his life tonight!

Tell him to go slowly and cautiously and erm not rip his pants

Definitely the way we danced in the late 80s when we were goths. Arms out, don't move your feet, kind of wave your arms around like you're flying. Create your own personal space around you

I’ll be wearing a dress like this obviously!

Slightly less extreme

Don't shower for a week and eat a garlic sandwich before you head out. That'll keep people away.

Ketamine

Big fish
Little fish
Fucking giant cardboard box.