Visiting unvaccinated inlaws

[Ferriswheel101]

We are visiting my husband's parents this August who we haven't seen since Feb 2020. His brother and partner have just had a baby. Have just found out his brother isn't vaccinated as he is worried about it affecting his sperm count. I'm not comfortable meeting him inside the house as he isn't vaccinated but as he is already visiting his parents with the baby the precedent has been set and he will be turning up most evenings. Any advice?

But you're vaccinated so what's the problem?

Will you refuse to go into a shop or office without seeing everyone’s vaccination record?

Are you vulnerable?

What difference does it actually make to you personally if he is not vaccinated? Vaccines don't stop transmission anyway

I would be uncomfortable about being around a vulnerable person who was unvaccinated incase I passed it on and killed them. Other than that I don’t care.

Are you worried that you will pass covid onto him, and he will get a severe case since he is not vaccinated?

Sit outside when they come over? Go out? Tell them how you feel and see if you can come up with a compromise.

Yeah I work in a school and six classes have shut down in the last two weeks. I lateral flow test and we have left 10day gap from term ending to travelling. But absolutely I could bring covid to him and he's unvaccinated and we won't be wearing masks or social distancing in the house.

@BlueSurfer

Will you refuse to go into a shop or office without seeing everyone’s vaccination record?

Completely. This obsession with other people’s vaccination status is ludicrous.

*Yeah I work in a school and six classes have shut down in the last two weeks. I lateral flow test and we have left 10day gap from term ending to travelling. But absolutely I could bring covid to him and he's unvaccinated and we won't be wearing masks or social distancing in the house.

Ask him. I’m unvaccinated, I wouldn’t worry about it for me.

@Ferriswheel101

Yeah I work in a school and six classes have shut down in the last two weeks. I lateral flow test and we have left 10day gap from term ending to travelling. But absolutely I could bring covid to him and he's unvaccinated and we won't be wearing masks or social distancing in the house.

But not to sound harsh. That's the risk he is taking and you're taking tests.

Don’t go if it’s such an issue?

If it is actually his health you are concerned about and not your own, then that is his choice to make. Presumably he is happy with it or he wouldn't go.

what does he think catching Covid might do to his sperm count.
even a mild case can result in long-covid.

Vaccines don't stop transmission anyway

Dear God, how many more times? Yes, yes they do. They dramatically reduce transmission. A vaccinated person is somewhere between 60 and 75% less likely to transmit the virus than an unvaccinated person.

OK, that’s not 100%, so I suppose you’re right that they don’t stop transmission altogether, maybe that’s what you mean? But a group of vaccinated people is a much less risky environment than a group of unvaccinated people, there is simply no arguing that,

If you are fully vaccinated then it’s not your problem, IMO, unless you are vulnerable.

He has decided not to have the vaccine, that is his choice and responsibility.

If you are comfortable visiting then go ahead. If weather permits then suggest being outside.

I assume your BIL is an adult capable of making decisions regarding his own health. In which case, what on earth are you getting your knickers in a twist over?

What would I do? Get a grip.

It's admirable that you're concerned for his health, but his decision is neither your problem nor your responsibility. Go see your in laws.

Surely it’s up to him if he wants to risk meeting you? You’ve had your vaccine so he’s more at risk, not you.

@PuzzledObserver

Vaccines don't stop transmission anyway

Dear God, how many more times? Yes, yes they do. They dramatically reduce transmission. A vaccinated person is somewhere between 60 and 75% less likely to transmit the virus than an unvaccinated person.

OK, that’s not 100%, so I suppose you’re right that they don’t stop transmission altogether, maybe that’s what you mean? But a group of vaccinated people is a much less risky environment than a group of unvaccinated people, there is simply no arguing that,

You know that ‘dramatically reduce’ isn’t a synonym for ‘stop’ right?

Most ridiculous thing I've heard today 😂😂

Thanks for feedback, I'll chat with him as he may not be aware of the situation at our schools, but I agree it's up to him.

I do take it seriously so no need for a couple of the comments to get a grip. I've had a friend hospitalised for five weeks and the most athletic child in the class was really unwell with covid.

We need to live with the fact of other people taking risks for themselves that we wouldn't take for ourselves. It used to be normal to think this way.

I choose not to smoke - you can choose to smoke.
I choose not to rockclimb -- you can choose to rockclimb.
I like a glass of wine -- you choose to be teetotal.
I choose to cycle on a busy road -- you wouldn't dream of doing that.
etc.

@OceanTurtles

But you're vaccinated so what's the problem?

You can still catch it when vaccinated, even though it's less likely. And if he's unvaccinated, he's more likely to have it than other people.