A Few Things Missing from the Leak

[CheeseJalapenoBread]

I’m a bit concerned that the leaked roadmap doesn’t include a formal ceremony in July in which the phrase “(socially distanced of course)” is buried a 500m deep pit, set alight and covered over with reinforced concrete.

Sorry, I didn’t hear anyone after the OP, I think you are on mute.

Can we also add

"Schools never shut"
"Education didn't stop"
"Blended learning"

To the mix

Covidiot please.

Now more than ever, in these unprecedented times, I agree.

'The news says (insert fact less headline)'

I think tonight everytime Boris says 'alas' we should have a shot. See who lasts the briefing 🤣

Oh pants just repeated a poster 😅

I haven't looked at speculation but I'm guessing masks haven't been mentioned?

‘Following the science’

Can we chuck that in?

Stay the fuck at home

Op you forgot your childcare bubble for your daughter with that woman who lives down the road and your childcare bubble for your son with his dad's golfing partner.

@Tronkmanton

Please can I add ‘the new normal’ ?

I'd happily yeet that phrase off the planet.

How about 'alas'?

You called?

‘Reset’ is getting on my nerves. I think I just can’t stand the optimism.

Roadmap

Stay home.

Fucking grates

Stay AT Home. Twats.

@Tiktokersmiracle

Hand face space And that bastard "look them in the eye" advert needs fucking right off into a pit

My 2 year old started saying that in December.

Hopefully no-one else with a toddler who talks will have to endure them quoting slogans.

Now don't forget to "Eat out to help out" once we get back to the "new normal".

The rules don't apply to me because...

I don't have to do it because I know my own mind and can make my own decisions.

Schools are open

Parents do not need to be teachers they just need to be present somewhere in the same house.

And I’ve already binned them new slogan “Ready, test, go”.

May get flamed but 'essential worker'

Saw a review the other day, someone got a pizza delivery and it was a bit shit. The review started 'I'm an essential worker'

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin

We could burn our masks?

How about a bank holiday Bozzer? Get the hospitality industry going again

Our little street and the next one on from us usually have a summer Street party, we plan on doing so when we can and we are going to have a mask bin which we will set alight. You pay 50p and that will go to the local hospital fund too. Cannot wait

I was going to say 'the new normal' ... But you cant bury something twice or can you?

@Tiktokersmiracle Sounds marvellous 🥂

"Data not dates" - only just started being used and already it needs burying.

Do you have space for "government sanctioned walk" with the optional extra "one hour a day"