Is anyone breaking the rules by letting their parents look after their kids?

[Rogben13]

I have to return to work next week after being on furlough since April. I have a 5 year old who is returning to school 2 days a week, however my 2 year olds nursery has reached the full capacity of kids allowed back so now I’m stuck! My in laws have offered to have my 2 year old 1-2 days (they are In their early 60s, perfectly healthy and have been sticking to the rules) but I’m very wary, obviously it’s breaking the rules but I feel like I don’t have a choice. I can’t afford to take unpaid leave! Is anyone else having to do the same?

Hi. I may get some comments here but my MIL is looking after my 4 year old while i work. She is very fit (by far fitter than me) and in her 70's. Me, DH and DS did strict lockdown for 10 weeks as did my MIL, DH was furloughed and i worked from home. Last week we both got asked to return to work. Initially i said i couldn't go back due to child care and my MIL hit the roof. She was insistent that she had him, explaining that she had gone 10 weeks without seeing him in person and that she could be hit by a bus before catching CV. Reluctantly i agreed and i have to be honest it has done my DS the world of good. He seems happy again as he was becoming a nightmare being stuck in our 4 walls. He is now loving a different 4 walls but every night when i fetch him both DS and his nanny have a big cheeky grin on their faces. HTH x

Funny thought if your parents were teachers / childcare workers and of working age they could look after 15 children.

I'm a sahm so I don't need childcare but I did bump into my neighbours on Monday afternoon taking their grandchildren to the park. The parents weren't with them. I didn't ask where they were but I know before lockdown the grandparents did look after the children a couple of days a week, so I'm presuming they may have gone back to that arrangement. I don't know the age of the grandparents but I would say late 60s.

Yep

Yep!

Hit post too soon!

I made a similar thread a couple of weeks ago which had 40+ responses from people saying they were as like you (and me) there was no alternative

If your in laws have offered and are really happy to look after him/her then yes I would let them.

My mum has been coming to look after my daughter 1/2 days a week since mid May while I go to work.

I would accept their help.

I expect this will be the norm soon for families with grandparents local, schools not open and people having to go back to work.

Yep

Yes pil are looking after our DC aged 4&6 3 days a week whilst me and DH work from home. I was really struggling feeling that I was neglecting them as we are both so busy and it seemed silly that mil lives 10 mins away, was missing them and usually had them anyway. It felt a bit odd at first but I feel so much better knowing they are going out for walks, doing activities, school work etc rather than sitting around watching iPads at home all day

Just do it OP. Trust your own judgement and that of your parents. What else are you meant to do?

Yep - both key workers here. Older kids back at school but little one’s childminder has given up minding so can’t go back. She is with my mum. We deemed that safer than finding a new setting for her and mum was happy to do it. Under 70 and no health concerns.

Yep!

None of our parents will offer but if they did I would snap their hand off! I don’t blame you for taking them up on it.

Yep x

Do it! Other than 1 of you gives your job up whats the alternative?

Yep!

Gosh guys this is seriously what I needed to hear/see. I’ve been in tears worrying about what we’re going to do. At the end of the day even if my nursery was open I know he’d be safer with his grandparents.
So relieved I’m not the only one in this situation!! Thank you everyone

Lots of people are around here. My parents are vulnerable so couldn't, but we've had our nanny back since May (specifically allowed in guidelines), and could not have kept both jobs without help with childcare for our 4dcs, so would never judge anyone who was using grandparents or family care.

We are using my mum as childcare for half an hour one morning a week starting this week.

Our children alternate therapy sessions which we are restarting face to face 2m apart on the beach as the office is still closed.

Although they have school places because of staggered start times we cannot stop off one and get to the session on time. I tentatively asked my mum if she could help and she jumped at the chance!

Our childrens mental health is so important and video sessions aren't cutting it any more so this is our only way forward at present.

Furloughed at the moment but expecting to be told we're heading back any day & have already arranged with my mum to have ds 1 day a week for me. You're right op, it's so stressful thinking about what to do for the best, we can't all just leave our jobs so you have to do what you need to to get by

Yes. I'm a nurse. Kids are in Keyworker provision but strangely enough nurses don't work 9-3 and the government have stopped after school clubs so what are we meant to do? I've been using my sister and now having to enlist my parents one day a week as well. It's that or lose my job, my home etc. It's that serious....

We've been looking after our two grandchildren again for the last 3 weeks (part-time) - my daughter is a primary school teacher and works 3 days a week . We share child-minding duties with the other set of grandparents. All in our late 50s.