Is anyone breaking the rules by letting their parents look after their kids?

[Rogben13]

I have to return to work next week after being on furlough since April. I have a 5 year old who is returning to school 2 days a week, however my 2 year olds nursery has reached the full capacity of kids allowed back so now I’m stuck! My in laws have offered to have my 2 year old 1-2 days (they are In their early 60s, perfectly healthy and have been sticking to the rules) but I’m very wary, obviously it’s breaking the rules but I feel like I don’t have a choice. I can’t afford to take unpaid leave! Is anyone else having to do the same?

[Candycats]

Yep! I'm going back to work the week after next, after being on furlough, and my dad will be looking after my 1 year old. He usually looks after him when I'm at work (part time) and is healthy and in his late 50s. I honestly don't know what you're supposed to do otherwise!

[lifestooshort123]

I'm 67 and have started to go over to my daughter's twice a week so she can go to work to combine wfh with 'showing willing' to the blokes there who constantly have a dig at her (grrrr). My grandson is nearly 12 but a full day on his own is long and tedious so I do 11 to 3 and absolutely LOVE IT!!

[Hugglespuffed]

Just wanted to add that I believe this is actually allowed now. I am a nanny and someone posted the guidance on a group I'm on. It doesn't specifically say 'you can use grandparents' but basically says not to use vulnerable people for childcare. If i can find the link i will post it here.
I would absolutely do it.

[divafever99]

I think this is going to be the norm very soon! I'm a key worker so dc have been in school, but what is everybody going to do over the summer holidays? I am allowed to take 2 weeks annual leave but the other 4 weeks they will likely be left with grandparents. I can't see any of the usual holiday clubs being open.

[glotterbug]

@Hugglespuffed please do post the link if you can find it. I'm in wales and have been called back to work (under consultation for redundancy so don't feel I can say can't go back due to childcare). My mum has offered to have dcs but just want to make sure she won't get in trouble.

[ginsparkles]

We were having this exact dilemma but luckily for us mum lives alone so the support bubble means we can do legitimately use her for childcare. I think if they hadn't done the support bubbles we would have had to do it anyway

[SecondaryBurnzzz]

I guess if you can legitimately use a nanny, you can use an actual Nanna?
I don't want to sound too bitter about it, but in this instance would wonder, 'what would Cummings do'!

[babychange12]

Just pay your mum a token sum and now she's your nanny - which is allowed!

[LST]

Yep. Mine are currently at my mums now. I am wfh and she is bringing them back at half 5.. I have finished work now so I am going to go have a nice long shower!

[33goingon64]

Just curious, how does this work within the rule about going into each other's homes? Obviously if the GPs are being used as childcare then if course the DC must be going into their homes or vice versa, but are you (the adults) also then going into their homes too? Or do you wait outside? Genuine question, as I think that's a different rule that's harder to justify.

[Anywaythewindisblowing]

I've taken the decision to let my parents take my son for a couple of afternoons a week also. I'm wfh teacher and h is key worker doing 12hr shifts. I'm also disabled and the risk of me having a serious health relapse is now out weighing covid. I stuck to the rules for the last 12 weeks but health is deteriorating so fast now I've agreed to let son go to gps. You can go shopping have your nanny etc but not your own family? Also if my mum was on her own it would be OK apparently? So I've made a judgement call as to what's best for us. They've left a lot of people with little choice x

[LST]

@33goingon64 we go in to each others houses.

[blackcat86]

Yes. I'm shielding so my (under 70) parents have isolated in preparation to help with DD. I didn't ask them to but she's their only DGC and they are very attached to her. She has been going weekly for the last 3 weeks because I just wasnt getting work done at home and she desperately needed a change of scene. Now PIL (who are 70 but otherwise healthy) are also volunteering to do 1 day a week. We have discussed the risks and that I am shielding so need to be careful. They are happy with this so it basically an extended bubble. My shielding ends next week and I just dont see how a few days will make much difference. Surely GPs are safer than sending her to nursery with lots more contact. I have had to come to the conclusion that my MH and our family are also important as well as the risk of covid. I love DD but shes not even 2 so having her here for months on end and trying to work left me on the edge of breakdown!

[blackcat86]

When I started leaving DD I started going into their homes. If they're close enough to a toddler to care for her and change nappies it seems pointless the adults keeping away from each other.

[LolaLollypop]

Yep! My parents have been helping with my two for a few weeks now.

[tempnamechange98765]

I'm in Wales and have seen a few sets of grandparents out with young children locally. They could just be taking them on walks for an hour or so, but it's still providing childcare.

[mustangcanwait]

I'm still on mat leave so don't need it as yet but I would feel a lot more comfortable leaving dd with my parents who I know are following all of the guidelines properly than a nursery where you don't know how many people the other kids / staff have been in contact with. Even if it's technically breaking the rules, I think now it's more about common sense and doing what's right for you while still keeping your family safe. I think the government should make support bubbles for childcare, regardless of whether you are a single parent. It just makes me angry that nanny's and childminders can see and hug your kids but grandparents can't, just because you're not paying them?!

[Giganticshark]

Is it still not allowed?
Yeah we're breaking the rules still I suppose.
Sometimes it's when I'm working. Other times for when I need a break.

I work in a supermarket. If I don't have childcare I can't work and don't get paid. I can't afford to pay my child minder for 2 kids for the week. Roll on schools opening