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Original poster

Seeing family who live far away

29 replies

Thewheelsonthebus23 · 28/05/2020 18:28

I feel like I’ll never get to see my parents who live 4-5 hours drive away.
I feel sick with anxiety about it.
If we went , we’d have to stay overnight and same for them if they came here. So it won’t happen Sad then I feel the R will go up again and we’re back to square one.

OP posts:
Cyberworrier · 28/05/2020 18:31

Can’t you meet half way for a walk, bring a picnic, and use bushes for loo? So you both have a 2-3 hour drive?

Qasd · 28/05/2020 18:35

Can you do an outdoor meet half way? We were thinking of similar if the national trust reopen their gardens at some point (and feels like a possibility in the summer since they can monitor crowds and manage social distancing)

Qasd · 28/05/2020 18:36

We are about four hours drive so we would be looking for two hours drive for each of us.

glasshalfsomething · 28/05/2020 18:37

I’m going to invite my parents to stay. They need to see people, and we need to see them. Both sides have been incredibly cautious and the drive is about 180 miles, so can happen in one go.

I realise it’s against current rules; but for everyone’s mental health, we have all agreed it is worth the risk.

Jumpqueen · 28/05/2020 18:43

Same as glass - my brother hasn’t left his house in 6 weeks and lives 5 hours away so will we stay. He is young, is lucky has a large house and gardens so mostly will be distanced when we go.

I feel personally less risk now while we both haven’t been out at all and then when he is commuting back and forth into London again surely???

Leicester5 · 28/05/2020 18:59

I wish they'd be a bit clearer on this, day trip 2 hours each way ok?

Original poster
Thewheelsonthebus23 · 28/05/2020 21:18

I just feel so deflated Sad I thought if they’d allow two households to mix indoors then I could see my in laws inside their home at least.

OP posts:
YahBasic · 28/05/2020 21:20

I’m feeling the same. My siblings all live close by, so the group chat has been all about bbqs in the garden next week etc, and we’re a 3.5 hour drive away, so definitely feeling left out.

Bol87 · 28/05/2020 21:23

Same dilemma here.. in-laws are 4 hours away & getting increasingly upset they are yet to meet our 10 week old baby! They’ve offered to literally come see us for the day, set off at 5am & then leave at 9pm.. but they want to do it this weekend while the weather is hot so it’s OK to be outside all day! 😩

I’m generally quite happy with this bar the fact we have a 3 year old who will in no way socially distance from her Grandparents.. I just can’t expect her too. She’s already become scared of people, I can’t make her worried about her grandparents too!

Mcmole · 28/05/2020 21:30

We are a full day's drive away and normally would do it over a couple of days - I am really worried when I'll get to see mine, I fear it won't be this year at all.

Tangledyarn · 28/05/2020 21:45

Its difficult. I'm going to stay with my parents for a week, weve all been extremely cautious, I've had covid, and realistically the virus is likely going to be around for months if not years in someway so I cant see things getting much safer for a while, I'll shower etc when I get there and will continue to isolate when I get back so as not to put anyone else at risk, they are only walking the dog anyway. I realise it's not allowed and have followed every guidance up to now (done a lot less than the guidelines allow as was unwell for weeks) but I feel for me I need to use my common sense now, my mums really struggling with not being able to see anyone.

YellowTelevision · 28/05/2020 22:20

We’ve booked a cottage near my parents for July as they are 6 hours drive away. Hoping that by then they’ll allow overnight stays but as they are elderly I don’t want to stay with them.

Will be worth the expense just to spend time with them

Purplequalitystreet · 28/05/2020 22:25

My mum is 4 hours away. We met half way last week for a picnic and we're planning to go to a national trust place next week if we can get booked. The drive was completely worth it so she could see her only grandchild

justdontatme · 28/05/2020 22:25

Same here. I felt sad & cross listening to the briefing about seeing friends & family again. I know it’s just one of those things & I accept the need to reduce geographical movement, but my best friend is 3hrs away, my parents are 5 hrs away & my MIL is 7hrs away & I am bloody gutted.

Original poster
Thewheelsonthebus23 · 28/05/2020 22:30

@yellowtelevision we’re all supposed to be going away together at the end of July, it’s not been cancelled yet. It would be my parents, us, our DS and my brother and his partner. I really really hope it goes ahead.

OP posts:
Boohooyouho · 28/05/2020 22:30

We are in the same situation. My parents live around 4 hours away. My dad is too scared to go out as he has some illnesses and is over 70. I probably could do the drive in one day but would need to take the kids with me as we are both keyworkers so if I was off my OH would be at work so it’s too far. We’re planning to visit in the ‘school holidays’ and stay nearby if we can but my mum thinks it might be worse to be able to see us but not hug the kids. It’s horrible.

Original poster
Thewheelsonthebus23 · 28/05/2020 22:31

Oh and it’s a UK holiday

OP posts:
IloveParmaViolets · 28/05/2020 22:34

I wish I had a motor home so I could visit my mum who lives 8 hours drive away. We could then park up in the drive & sleep over in the motor home. Can't be done atm 🙁

Sertchgi123 · 28/05/2020 22:35

You just have to wait. We are in the same boat and I’m sick of it but we’re waiting.

Original poster
Thewheelsonthebus23 · 28/05/2020 22:36

@Boohooyouho I’m hoping by the school holidays we’ll be allowed to hug close family!

OP posts:
NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 28/05/2020 22:50

@Leicester5
"I wish they'd be a bit clearer on this, day trip 2 hours each way ok?"
It was perfectly clear.

You can travel to see family and friends as long as you meet outside, you maintain social distance, there are no more than 6 of you and you must not stay overnight.

So, yes you can do your 2 hours each way trip.

@Bol87
"They’ve offered to literally come see us for the day, set off at 5am & then leave at 9pm.. but they want to do it this weekend while the weather is hot so it’s OK to be outside all day!"
Do you realise the new rules don't take effect until Monday or is that why you've commented about then wanting to do it this weekend before they are allowed to?

MrsTravers · 28/05/2020 23:02

We're waiting.

My parents live 300 miles away and I haven't seen them since Christmas. They are over 70 so I don't want to make them travel in case of car problems (as they haven't really driven since March) and I think it's too long without a loo for all of us!

It's not great but I was expecting it, so reasonably philosophical. I do hope the people who have been complaining about only being able to see one parent outdoors now know to count their blessings.

Greendayz · 28/05/2020 23:15

My mum is 5.5 hours away and currently feeling very down and isolated. I'm wondering about the tent in the garden option, even though they said you shouldn't do that. She has a spare toilet that only I could use. It's really hard to keep up not seeing her without any idea when it'll end. I'd wait for a date, or even for a level of infection if could see we'd get there at some point. But am fed up with politicians just refusing to say when that'll be ok. Do we wait for a vaccine that may never arrive?

MIL is 87 are DH is planning to do a 3.5 hour drive each way to visit her in her garden, add he's afraid of he doesn't go soon he might never see her again (his dad died quite suddenly) But I really can't do 11 hours driving in a day :(

pfrench · 28/05/2020 23:18

We're doing a half way visit for a 4 hour away family thing tomorrow. Found some random woods for a walk and picnic.

Do it now before schools are back and before the weather breaks.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 28/05/2020 23:20

Feeling the same my PIL live 5hrs away and have yet to meet our much longer for 7 week old baby