I have just found out that I have been put on furlough because my performance last week in terms of output was low. I do have the work to do but I wasn't as productive last week as was struggling with my toddler. I'm separated and doing it alone. It wouldn't have been an issue as the work could have been made up the following weeks with the same output result.
Now because I didn't bust a gut that week I have been put on furlough. I feel I'm definitely more of a redundancy risk now especially as they brought someone back from furlough to help out when I go on furlough. I have jeopardised everything in my future and toddler's future housing etc because last week I wasn't working hard. It's all my fault for not waking early or staying late in the evening to do it. I hate myself for it and wish I was dead. I don't have life insurance though so what's the point. Who will look after my toddler if I die though?
Father wouldn't be up to it so it would be his parents or my parents. Toddler is napping now but I can't face dealing with anything. House is disgusting and I can't cope.