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Original poster

Just checking - I can’t relocate during lockdown, right?

35 replies

SleepyBoPeepy · 28/04/2020 10:20

I’ll be the first to say I HATED the threads a few weeks ago when everyone was trying to find loopholes for lockdown so I admit I’m a big, fat hypocrite! Blush

We really want to relocate to my parents for the remainder of lockdown. ‘We’ being me, husband and 10 month baby. Parents are early fifties.
They work part time (from home), husband is working full time (from home), I’m wrangling baby on my own all day.
I KNOW so many people have it worse, and we do have some outside space... but I just want more adult interaction during the day, more interaction for the baby (they get sooo excited when seeing people from a distance on our walks); to use my parents big, baby friendly garden; our dog to be able to interact with their dogs as well actually as he hasn’t been able to interact with other dogs since this started.

I’m not fussed about pubs, restaurants, shops, I’m not fussed about seeing loads of people or coming home, I just want to relocate for the remainder of lockdown. Sad

Hard hat donned as I know I’m being VERY unreasonable and this has been a selfish vent but I’m just sad and frustrated.

OP posts:
Flower34 · 28/04/2020 10:24

How far is your parents place? Have you and your parents been isolating for at least 2 weeks?

TeddyIsaHe · 28/04/2020 10:25

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all tbh. If you’ve all been isolating there’s not much risk, and sometimes mental health trumps lockdown. Do you parents and dh agree with it?

jomaIone · 28/04/2020 10:27

I would do it... You aren't really risking anything other than social ridicule for 'breaking the rules' and those people are probably knobs anyway.

I would totally do it if I was on my own with a baby 100%

fourstarsoutoffive · 28/04/2020 10:27

I'd say go for it, people are allowed to move house for a few days if they've had a row with a housemate. Do what you have to do to stay sane (as long as it's not putting outsiders at risk)

Original poster
SleepyBoPeepy · 28/04/2020 10:29

Depends what you mean by isolating but I’d say no. Each household has sent one person to the supermarket once a week and we’ve all been going on daily walks as we have dogs, but all live rurally so not coming into contact with people on these walks. There is of course a minimal chance that one of us could have it though Sad
It’s also a couple of hours down the motorway.

In all honesty, we would all be up for it, I think it’s more the shame of being caught and sent home by the police or the neighbours seeing our car on parents driveway Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
SleepyBoPeepy · 28/04/2020 10:32

And yes, I saw the roommate thing! Which is more of an infection risk than going and staying somewhere for good.
We keep joking that I’m going to engineer an argument so I can go to my mums!

OP posts:
ChipotleBlessing · 28/04/2020 10:33

It’s fine. It’s always been fine to merge households for the lockdown.

Thornhill58 · 28/04/2020 10:42

Honestly I can't see the issue. Sounds like you are very low level risk if any. I don't know if you can check with any authorities but I can't see an issue.

fourstarsoutoffive · 28/04/2020 10:44

You'd be very unlucky to get pulled over and sent home. You could be going to care for a vulnerable relative for all they know. I know what you mean about the neighbours but as long as you're planning on staying there and not just visiting it's not really a problem.

RedAzalea · 28/04/2020 10:48

You are ‘joking’ about setting up a domestic abuse situation as a reason to relocate?

Tonemeth · 28/04/2020 10:50

I cant see a big problem with it. If you're only going to the supermarket and no other contact its unlikely to be a massive problem. The guidance I saw (I think its was a tv doc so you can take with a pinch of salt) was the example of university students coming home. They were told the student should isolate in the home for 2 weeks after coming home which would be hugely impractical for you.

I guess the one issue is that you are more risk to your parents than they are to you. It sounds unlikely you'll pass anything on, but its still a small risk.

Tonemeth · 28/04/2020 10:51

Odfod @RedAzalea that's not remotely what she said.

There is guidance saying if you have an arguement you can go to a friends to cool off, for days not hours. That's not domestic abuse - it's an argument.

EdithWeston · 28/04/2020 10:53

I don't think making a single move to where younwill remain for the rest of lockdown is unreasonable. My DBro isolated himself for 14 days when he started WFH, and then made one journey to live with DMum

If stopped, say younare visiting parents because of a MH issue, and you have luggage because you may find you need to stay for some weeks and do not want to be irresponsible and make multiple journeys.

Nikhedonia · 28/04/2020 11:06

It's fine as long as the move is measured in days not hours.

I think it's fine in your case.

Nikhedonia · 28/04/2020 11:06

*its reasonable as long as

Lweji · 28/04/2020 11:10

Are you sure with all those people at home it would work better?
And if one of you gets infected when out, then more people get infected than if you stay in separate homes.

turtletum · 28/04/2020 11:11

I have several friends who have done this in similar situations with young babies. I wish I could as I'm juggling a toddler and baby with no childcare help and it's gruelling. However, my dad is very vulnerable, so I don't want to put him at risk and he lives 5 hours away. I can't see the issue with you plan, despite it not being quite within 'the rules', it's not especially risky either.

HarrietOh · 28/04/2020 11:15

I've just re-located to my DPs. We're both single households, WFH etc no extremely low risk. I'm mentally now so much better, after 5 weeks completely alone!

Timefor45 · 28/04/2020 11:22

You don’t need to ask permission on here. Nothing ‘illegal’ about what you’re doing, nor can you be randomly stopped on your journey there by car. My neighbours left this weekend to move in with their elderly DM/MIL for similar reasons, I regard it as none of my business. It’s all down to your personal circumstances.

Hugglespuffed · 28/04/2020 11:24

Personally I wouldn't, they've said time and time again, no unnecessary journeys and don't mix households. If you had done it before lockdown then different but we are right in the middle of it now. Imagine if everyone did this now? And what if one person out of all those people were infected without knowing (possibility as still going to supermarkets) then it starts the cycle all over again.
I guess ultimately it isn't policed so you can probably do what you want. But for me, I'd rather wait it out than risk spreading things.

MangoesAreMyFavourite · 28/04/2020 11:26

Is this comparable to families moving to their second homes?

While I personally think merging households for the remainder of lockdown should be fine, I am also comparing the responses here to the horrible responses about people moving to a second home.

sashh · 28/04/2020 11:29

Well Boris has relocated.

It should be all about risk, and with the precautions you are taking it seems to be minimal.

There should be some form of guidance, in Italy people have had to down load a form to say why they are out, there should be something here, not for a trip to the shops but to allow a move like you are proposing.

The only extra risk I can see with your plan is if you had a car accident that required an ambulance.

I've just watched my neighbours leave for their daily shopping trip, I'm much more bothered by them.

Hugglespuffed · 28/04/2020 11:30

That's another point actually mangoes
I could have moved to my parents (I'm single, no ties, still working but probably could have taken some time off) but decided not to as if I got ill I would hate to take a hospital bed away from where my parents live rather than one where I actually live. Might not be relevant to OP though as they may live in the same area.

Original poster
SleepyBoPeepy · 28/04/2020 11:37

Sorry didn’t mean to offend wrt DV but that was kind of my point. From the start it has been reiterated that (quite rightly) people were still able to flee DV. Then a few weeks later we were told that we could relocate to a different household to cool off for a few days if we had an argument in the household. Which to me seems rather woolly, it doesn’t appear to be directed at DV Situations as the official advise (presumably) wouldn’t be to cool off for a few days then return. It seems to be aimed at housemates having arguments and like I said previously, it’s worse from an infection control point of view for one person to enter another household then return to the original dwelling.

Like a PP, I don’t understand how it’s ok for me to move but visiting second homes isn’t allowed. Or is it that you can’t go back and forth between main residence and second home? Or just that second homes tend to be in touristy areas and they don’t want everyone to congregate in Cornwall and The Lakes?

It’s the confusion which isn’t helping. There seems to be loopholes introduced from the government and from the virus’ point of view, many of the loopholes seem more dangerous than one household relocation to another for the remainder of lockdown.
I’m desperate to go but I’m also a rule follower and hate ‘getting in trouble’ so I expect I’ll stay home Blush Sad

OP posts:
emojisarentwords · 28/04/2020 11:48

How has PP turned having an argument into a domestic abuse situation? Fgs you have an overactive imagination.

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