Early loss / MMC TTC support - the club nobody wanted to join 💔🌈

[TinyBitChaotic]

I thought I’d start a little thread for anyone who has been through an early miscarriage, particularly an MMC, and wants somewhere to find people who get it - wherever you are in the process.

This definitely isn’t intended as a pity party, or to suggest that one loss is harder or more significant than another. Every loss is a loss, and everyone experiences it differently.

But I do feel like an MMC can be a particularly cruel and surreal experience. Finding out at a scan that your pregnancy stopped developing some time ago, often when you had absolutely no idea, and then having to navigate the physical process afterwards… it can feel incredibly lonely.

So I thought it might be nice to have a little corner for people who are going through something similar and, eventually, want to find their way back to TTC.

No pressure to be positive, no pressure to “move on”, and no pressure to have the right words. Just somewhere to check in, vent, ask questions, share little wins, or remind someone else that they aren’t alone.

I’m 35 and have a 4-year-old DD. I found out on Thursday at what should have been our 8-week scan that I’d had an MMC, with baby having stopped growing at 6 weeks. I’m currently on day 2 of medical management, so this is all incredibly fresh for me. I’m devastated, but also hopeful that we’ll eventually get our rainbow.
Realistically, I’m hoping that once I get my negative pregnancy test in a couple of weeks, I’ll be ready to try again. For now I’m thinking very low-pressure - no OPKs, no BBT, just seeing what happens. I know that might seem like I’m rushing ahead, but having something to look towards and some sense of control helps me process things.

Anyway, sadly welcome to the club nobody wanted to be part of. ❤️

Hopefully we can support each other through the horrible bit, whatever that looks like for each of us, and eventually find our way out the other side. 🌈

Hey! Going to jump in and say something similar happened to me and I completely spiralled!

I had a MC a couple years ago, the same time my SIL got pregnant. They announced it on Father’s Day as well 😂 I sort of went into hiding after that - my partner had to tell them what happened to us and that’s why I haven’t been around!

it was an awful few months - just felt like I was watching in real time what could have been. Admittedly, I didn’t see her the whole pregnancy but only when the baby was born, by which time I was 20 weeks but it felt awful all the same! It was a little easier for me to keep to myself because it wasn’t my sister but maybe let her know how you feel!

I honestly never thought I’d be happy again (dramatic!) and did therapy etc but I am now on the other side of it and wish I could tell myself back then that it’s just a small blip. It was more of: why did it work for them and not for me? What am I doing wrong etc.

let yourself feel whatever you feel - i was a little envious but happy for them all the same, both can be true at once!

my photos didn’t upload. So here it is again.

@TinyBitChaotic that OPK looks very positive! Fingers crossed for you!! Xx

Similarly to others on here my OPK’s got lighter over the weekend, I think due to my dropping HCG but this mornings was quite a bit darker (registered as 0.59 on Premom). Hoping I may get a positive OPK in the next few days 🤞🏼 xx

Thank you both for your lovely words ♥️ it’s been so nice to have this thread!

And @TinyBitChaoticyour tests look great!! I think I’ve been like a day or so behind you with similar tests so these give me hope.

Good morning!

Hope everyone is feeling okay this Tuesday morning.

I finally got negatives!!! CB digital was stuck at 1-2 for over 10 days now, and the line on FRER was very much there! But not today, Satan! I thought I would feel a little devastated when it all turned negative but weirdly this morning I feel nothing but pure excitement and relief to see the “Not Pregnant”.

OPK - wise, I had faint lines for a few days then yesterday they got darker than the control line. This morning it’s fainter again, so I think maybe yesterday was my surge / peak? We managed to DTD last night for good measure lol.

@TinyBitChaotic Morning!!

Ahh I’m so happy for you, these look great! I think I’ll feel the same when I finally get a negative too. I’m also totally using you as a time machine as our tests have been so similar 😂

Mine are looking OK this morning - I think I may have missed an LH peak in the past couple of days as it’s decreasing now but did previously get quite dark. HCG has a tiny shadow of a line. I temp using Oura and have a lil dip today, guess we’ll see in the next couple of days if I did ovulate. I’m actually excited! We’ve been DTD like crazy although it’s definitely gotten less horny and more utilitarian. I propositioned him by asking him if he fancied inseminating me last night, so sexy.

Bahahahahahaha not the “fancy inseminating me” line 💀

If you have been DTD like crazy and your line is getting lighter, most likely you’ve peaked already in the last couple of days!

So exciting, I genuinely have everything crossed for you! Sounds like we’ll lose our minds together during the TWW! 🙈

Sigh… my LH test is a bit fainter today than yesterday, so guessing I’m not yet gearing up to ovulate.

I can still see the slightest shadow on my easy@homes too. It’s so nearly gone though!

Today should have been my 12 week scan so feeling a little sorry for myself, this journey is just so hard 😭 Going out for lunch for my MIL’s 70th though so hopefully a good distraction xx

@TinyBitChaotic
Bless my husband, he’s used to the weird pick up lines by now. I don’t know how you can make it sexy though anymore 😂 we had a good giggle at least.
And yeah I really hope I just missed the peak! At least we all have each other so we can lament together in the TWW. Can’t wait 😬😬 As soon as the line disappears we’re going to want it back!

@Janey3090 I’m so sorry, it’s so unfair. Hope you at least have a lovely day celebrating with the fam.

Awww, I’m sorry, such a loaded day. Try to get your mind off it as much as you can. ❤️

@mycatyells lol, who said romance was dead 😂
same here tbh. We have also been together for eternity so, he’s seen it all - the good, the bad, the ugly. I don’t weird him out, I’ve weirded him IN 🤡😂

Morning ladies!

I think I’ve had a temp rise this morning, obviously gotta wait until the end of the week to confirm but it’s potentially looking like I ovulated yesterday. If that’s the case then we managed to hit O-2 and O-1. Could this be the beginning of the TWW?!

My HCG is a proper squinter now. I think they’re pretty sensitive tests. I will keep testing until it’s completely negative, guess there’s gonna be some weird crossover where I’m testing HCG out and then back in.

@mycatyells eeek, it certainly sounds like you have ovulated! I've always read that the day before ovulation to DTD gives you the best chance, so fingers crossed. 😊

Is this a roughly normal day of your cycle for you to ovulate, or a bit later?

@Janey3090 thank you!

I usually ovulate around D13 - D15, and yesterday was D21 if I count the day of the miscarriage (as in actual passing of the tissue, I spotted a day or so beforehand) as D1. So looks like it delayed ovulation by about a week, which actually in the grand scheme of this shitshow is not too bad!

@mycatyells I don't think that's bad at all, really pleased for you that everything seems to be settling back quickly! Will keep everything crossed for you this month - it would be so lovely if we all got our rainbows soon.

Gives me a little hope that maybe my body is just going to be a few days/a week behind too, as when I conceived in July I ovulated on day 23 (I've always ovulated day 19 onwards, never earlier). Whereas now I'm currently CD 23 and my test registered as 0.54 on premom (so higher than yesterday) and definitely an increase in stretchy CM. Time to start getting busy with my DH just in case 😂

first pic against pink packaging was yesterdays, second pic is today’s. It’s definitely darker isn’t it, just hoping tomorrows is even darker and doesn’t drop back down again 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@Janey3090 Oh that’s definitely darker! And I think if you’ve got fertile CM too then better start getting busy 😄 How funny that we could all be ovulating at similar times!

Are you tracking BBT? I did read somewhere that post-miscarriage you can have a few different LH surges as your body can attempt ovulation a couple of times, so I think I’m going to continue testing and DTD just to be safe until I can confirm it via BBT!

I would love for this thread to be filled with BFPs in a couple of weeks. At the same time I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much as it’s fine right if we don’t - but I’m a bit excited.

Eeeek @mycatyells and @Janey3090 these tests are looking great for both of you!
I hope we do all get BFPs!! 🍀🤞🏻🙏🏼

I have been mega busy at work and with life, and haven’t tested today but yesterday my LH was getting lighter so reckon the peak was Monday and maybe yesterday was O? We’ll find out in two ish weeks I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️