Would announcing a pregnancy at seven or eight weeks be too early?

[himbl]

I want to tell my closest people right after my 6 week scan at 7-8 weeks. It will be my big 30th birthday event so everyone will be there.

These are parents, siblings, from both sides, and closest friends and as an extension all their partners.

I also want them to feel excited. My sister announced at 6 weeks but none of us were allowed to get our hopes up just in case. I want people to be excited. It will be the first baby on DH side so I know his parents will be dramatic and excited.

would it be a buzz kill to announce at 7/8 weeks? If I waited longer I would have to tell most people over the phone as the next in person would be Christmas

Entirely up to you.
It depends on how many people you want to un-tell, share bad news with should it go wrong.
But then you might also need those people to understand your grief. There is still a risk until the placenta takes over at about 12 weeks.

@Newname26One of my cousins had a miscarriage and we all found out, I wouldn't mind if word got out, it wouldn't be a secret.

I’d say Christmas would be the perfect time to tell extended family/friends? I wouldn’t tell anyone before 12 weeks personally, but if you’re not drinking at your own 30th I’d bet most people will guess. Unless you’re teetotal of course. Congrats.

If wait till the 12 weeks , hopefully nothing happens, but you say you wouldn’t mind people finding out, but you’ve no idea how you’d react if it did,

I wouldn’t. It is quite early, and there is still a relatively high risk of loss then.

It’s a personal choice, no wrong time if it feels right for you and there is no perfectly “safe” stage of pregnancy anyway. The 12 week scan isn’t a
guarantee that everything will end perfectly anyway so as long as you are mindful that you’d be sharing the bad news (if that did happen) with all of those same people I would say just do what feels right for you.

I would say though be prepared for people to maybe not be as excited as you’d hope by telling them earlier on. We told PIL when I was 7 weeks pregnant with our first baby as my husband was excited to share the news with them and thought they’d be super excited but the only response was an awkward smile and “well we’ll not get too excited yet, anything could happen”🙃

Depends - i had 3 missed miscarriages varying from 7-12 weeks. I wanted the people who I rely on support to know if it were to happen.

It's a completely personal decision and there is no right time. You will want people around you to be excited or to support you 💖 go for it at your birthday if this holds a special place to you 💖 congratulations!

(Trigger warning- I had a missed miscarriage at 17+3 earlier this year, we'd only started telling people at 14 weeks as didn't want to be excited too early but I was so glad I had people around us both to support us)

Close family and friends who you would want support from in the event of a loss I would tell. Casual friends and colleagues I would wait until comfortably past 12/13 weeks

I think announcing it at an event like your 30th is risky. If anything happened, the memories will be tainted.

My first pregnancy ended at 7 weeks, second ended at 8 weeks. Third resulted in a healthy baby. I remember the feeling being pregnant the first time and being so happy. But now im jaded lol.

I also get worried now when people announce their pregnancies to me before 12 weeks.

If you wait until 12 weeks you can figure out another nice way to surprise everyone.

Hopefully all goes well for you, whatever you choose!

I personally wouldn’t ever announce it early again. I did at 8weeks. 12 week scan went well tests were fine found out we were having a boy at 15weeks then went to 20 week scan and my son had a severe disability so had to have a TFMR with no support other than my partner. for that I will never tell anyone till after 20weeks. A baby can pass at anytime of gestation. So it is totally up to you. Congratulations hope all goes well xx

I would definitely announce. Hopefully things will proceed normally but if the worst does happen then you’ll have lots of support.

Its obviously down to personal choice but I dont understand why miscarriage is something to be kept secret like its somehow down to personal failure- I understand people grieve differently but surely most people need support if things dont turn out as expected

@user85642879067Christmas? Everyone will know by then as OP will be over five months pregnant and most likely showing! Who waits that long to tell family and friends?
OP I actually did tell my parents on Christmas Day at six weeks, partly because we had announced our engagement on Christmas Day a year earlier. Basically if anything was going to happen I’d want their support then so why not share the joy first? Anyway he just turned 23.

I announced mine early. It’s entirely up to you-there’s no real reason for the 12 weeks thing.

I don’t think it’s so much that miscarriage should be a secret, and personally I did tell close family early as I knew should the worst happen I would appreciate their support. But there is a difference between telling a few close family members and having to deliver the bad news to a handful of people vs telling all family and friends and having to have that really difficult conversation 20+ times with different people.

I told my parents at what I thought was 4.5weeks but was actually 3.5weeks! No regrets at all, I wouldn’t have kept it secret from them had anything bad happened in this early days anyway. Same for DHs parents.

I told my boss at about 7 weeks because I was feeling so ill and needed to miss a work even that a usual sick day just wouldn’t have cut it for.

Told the world after the 12 weeks scan and currently 23 weeks.

I think the same. None of my pregnancies or miscarriages were secrets. It’s a weird custom we have

I told when I knew at around 5-6 weeks as it was a huge shock and I also knew if the worst happened I’d want support and time off.
do what you feel is right.

There's no wrong or right to this. I guess are you willing to take the (probably reasonably small risk) of telling lots of people and them having to tell them all you've miscarried if you do...?

I’d wait.

Agree with PP that it’s completely up to you, personal decision, and you can disregard the 12 week convention which is quite arbitrary in a way. What I would just say is that you can’t influence how people react and feel about your announcement. If some people are cautious and not jumping for joy, consider that they may have experienced early losses, or a close loved one may have done. We all know couples who have gone through miscarriage, even if we don’t know who has and who hasn’t. People will feel how they feel, some will be really excited with you and some will be much more nervous for you. Don’t interpret any more ‘tame’ reactions as indifference or anything negative. Congratulations and I really hope all goes smoothly and you have a lovely 30th birthday celebration.

This is true - my dad’s initial excitement about the pregnancy was significantly muted when I explained that I was actually only 4 weeks. He was a bit like - oh okay so there might not be anything to tell then 🫣🫣

I think it's when people had the viability scan.

It's a women's body, so her right to choose. Some people are more private than others, it's not right or wrong and it's certainly not "weird".