Has anyone stopped “trying” and got pregnant?

[Kels21]

Hiya everyone, so I’m 36 almost 37, tried solidly to get pregnant for 10 months last year and then fell pregnant on the 10th cycle with trying multiple things that cycle including vitamins, conceive lube, mucus cough syrup. Ovulation strips that month and every month, sadly it ended in a mmc at 6 weeks. I’ve tried again since the miscarriage in October and nothing again since. Has anybody just stopped trying stopping using ovulation strips and left it alone and fallen pregnant? Just looking for any stories from other peoples experiences. I’m due to ovulate next week and I’m just unsure on what to do. I feel like times running out and I just feel deflated. Thank you for reading 🤍

I have friends who did this, stopped trying/tracking/timing, just went with what they wanted to do and did fall pregnant. I think the theory is that the stress of tracking etc actually can hinder rather than help and so relaxing and just letting go makes the difference. That said though I think if I was 37 I wouldn’t take that approach just because I’d be conscious of time and so I’d be wary of letting too much time pass by incase there were actually other things at play which would require medical assistance- which especially if NHS comes often with 52 week+ wait lists. Good luck x

Purely anecdotal obviously, but I’d been trying for 6 months, mostly tracking ovulation. Was using the digital ones, so it’s expensive. I got overwhelmed, hid all the pregnancy/conception topics and decided I’d have a nice Christmas and come back to it in the new year.

Period was due 5th Jan, did a test on the 8th and it was positive! Have confirmed it this morning on a clearblue digital and it says 1-2 weeks pregnant.

I still knew roughly when I’d ovulate, but we only DTD 3 times in the week’s general fertility window as December is busy etc. Kept taking my coq10 and folic acid/vitd but didn’t track ovulation for December.

Yep, tried religiously for 3 years, both had all the fertility tests, nothing wrong, said we'd stop trying as it was making me so insanely stressed and got pregnant!

No and honestly I think when people say this happened it is just random. Unless perhaps they were massively stressing themselves out, but even then, there's no real proven link - I fell pregnant during the most stressful month of my life, after several years of fertility treatments (the stress wasn't linked to that, it was family related. My pregnancy was still the result of IVF - just at a very stressful time).

I also think the whole idea is just really unhelpful. It feeds into the whole 'just relax and you'll get pregnant!' mentality, which is quite damaging for people who are struggling and/ or need fertility treatment.

Yes twice. Tried for 4 years for first and second. 1st time decided to just focus on us as a couple and planned some things to look forward to and got pregnant. After having one we really wanted a sibling but after another 4 years realised it was not going to happen. Gave up and made some big decisions to focus life on the three of us and then got pregnant with number 2. I sometimes think it's because I was more relaxed

Thank you everyone x

Well, yes. That's what we all did before ovulation tests were invented. Just concentrated on having lots of sex mid cycle. It still took me eleven months to get pregnant with the first one. I'd considered buying an ovulation kit, they'd only just come on the market then and were really expensive, but decided against it as I thought it would end up making the whole process more stressful. Then I finally got pregnant so was glad I hadn't bothered. I honestly think the whole process must be so stressful these days, with ovulation tests and very early pregnancy tests. Best of luck, OP. I hope you get your positive result very soon.

Yes!

Diagnosed with DOR at 35 with AMH levels of 0.7.

Gave up after a couple of years, we had DD so got into a rhythm of us three, planning holiday's etc new job (for me) where I was finally happy and stress free, even though it was a care/support worker job it was a happier working environment with wonderful colleagues.

Currently 6 months pregnant at 39 with surprise DD2 and I think we'd only had sex 2/3 times that month! (Busy month )

Two of my friends had this happen. When they were tracking, the couldnt get pregnant. They gave up and decided to go down the IVF route and stopped tracking altogether. Fell pregnant naturally!

This is exactly how I conceived my first baby after having 2 MC. I think all of the stuff I was doing was causing me so much stress, it actually worked against me. I stopped absolutely everything and became pregnant very quickly after.

Yes! Stopped after 3yrs and got pregnant in first month we stopped!

I was tracking ovulation with strips for over 12months without success and the month after I gave them up and had blood tests at the GP I fell pregnant and we now have a newborn DS. I'm pretty convinced they were incorrect for me.

Yep, gave up, gave away a lot of the baby stuff and decided what would be would be, already had one and they are great etc etc. Went away for a weekend 3 months later, did everything you’re not supposed to, lots of wine and champagne, raw seafood, jacuzzi’s and saunas and wouldn’t you know got pregnant. Was away on hols the first time I got pregnant too so perhaps there’s something in being relaxed 🤷‍♀️

We conceived our son 3 days before our first IVF appointment.

I've conceived naturally twice at 36 and 41 years old and both times we weren't actively trying just not preventing.

I've used FLO app to monitor periods but never done any real tracking with ovulation sticks etc. Never changed my lifestyle or taken particular supplements or put life on hold in any way. We've just tried to live like normal and not overthink it too much, just having regular unprotected sex throughout the month. Also never tested until my period was a week late - no stressing, no obsessing.

Not saying this is the way to go for everyone and it did take much longer with our second than our first but this is what we did.

What's the mucus cough syrup supposed to do? Just wondering!
I had my first at 36 & second at 40.
Never used ovulation strips.
Just used the Flo app, it was incredibly accurate.
I got lucky second time round. I wasn't actively trying, DTD once that month and got pregnant.
You're putting far too much pressure on yourself. Relax!

I don't know really, if you are a person without fertility issues then maybe. What I do know is that if you require fertility assistance - unblocking tubes, drugs to induce ovulation, IUI with sperm 'washing' etc then you can relax and enjoy as much sex as you want...but statistically you won't be getting pregnant.

So, stressful as it might be, better to do the tests, have the scans and follow the medical advice given if a problem is found.

It annoys me somewhat when people trot out the old relax line. Either you're fertile, in which case any sex will do the trick (just look at war torn countries where the birth rate appears unaffected despite the stress the women are under), or you're infertile, in which case stressful treatment is required.

Yeah this would be my issue with it really.

If you’ve had all the tests done, everything has come back clear and the ovulation tests, scheduled sex etc haven’t been helping then I do think there’s something to be said for just setting all of that aside and just taking it as it goes for awhile. But I’d be hesitant to do that, especially at 37, if I wasn’t actually sure there wasn’t any medical issues involved first because this poster is right, if you are dealing with a low sperm count, hormone imbalances incompatible with pregnancy, blocked tubes etc then relaxing won’t make a difference.

Most of these tests and investigations are done after 12-18 months of trying with no success, though. I think most of the advice given above is for those TTC either before they get to this point or when no fertility issues have been identified.

Of course it is different where there are known problems conceiving for whatever reason and the couple need some additional help but for anyone not dealing with this, I think taking the pressure off for a bit is sound advice which has worked for a lot of couples - regardless of age.

If over 35 then it’s actually after 6 months you can seek help via NHS.

In large part because the wheels of the NHS, especially for fertility, move very slowly. I have friends & colleagues who have (and one who still is) waiting for various tests/treatments/IVF over 2 years on from their first referral which if you’re 25 is okay, 27 is still young, but at 37 that takes you to 39.

I don't know if that varies between different trusts, does it? A friend of mine is 40 and has been told by her GP she has to wait 12 months for a referral (she's considering paying privately to get things moving quicker).

Where I am, there are so many women conceiving over 35 and even 40 (I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant aged 42) so it absolutely can and does still happen naturally for many woman that age. We don't know the OP's situation regarding fertility issues so myself and others were simply answering with our own opinions and experiences about not tracking. It's OK if you don't agree.

No because that would have made me massively stressed. And I wouldn’t have got pregnant having sex at the wrong time. Relaxing doesn’t magically get you pregnant. Having sex around the time of ovulation does. If you have regular periods that’s much easier to do without tracking.

We had only been trying for 6 months but I was obsessed with tracking ovulation and bbt, was on all the apps etc. In October decided we were going on holiday, had lots of other things going on so just decided not to bother. Only dtd twice and nowhere near where I think I ovulated and fell pregnant. Probably just luck / one of those things but feel very grateful. Good luck x

Yes, we sort of did, but we weren't doing all that stuff, just having sex every other day and making some small life style changes to be healthier. Anyway, after a while, some investigations were done and it was found that I wasn't ovulating and my husband had a low sperm count, and we were told that we would need ICSI to conceive- I think his words were that he never says impossible but it's extremely unlikely for us to fall pregnant naturally. We accepted that, started saving (not eligible for NHS IVF), and a few weeks later I fell pregnant.

It sounds like you're doing a lot and I'm not sure most of it is evidence based (cough syrup?) and it's stressing you out.

10 months is not a long time to be trying, and neither is 3 months since the miscarriage. It's unfortunate that the first pregnancy was a MMC, they are painful to go through, but there is no reason not to assume you will fall pregnant again soon.

Yes, I stopped trying May 2022 and discovered I was pregnant the following month. I was also 36 and 37 when I had my daughter.

We had been 'trying' on and off for 4 years.