Has anyone stopped “trying” and got pregnant?

[Kels21]

Hiya everyone, so I’m 36 almost 37, tried solidly to get pregnant for 10 months last year and then fell pregnant on the 10th cycle with trying multiple things that cycle including vitamins, conceive lube, mucus cough syrup. Ovulation strips that month and every month, sadly it ended in a mmc at 6 weeks. I’ve tried again since the miscarriage in October and nothing again since. Has anybody just stopped trying stopping using ovulation strips and left it alone and fallen pregnant? Just looking for any stories from other peoples experiences. I’m due to ovulate next week and I’m just unsure on what to do. I feel like times running out and I just feel deflated. Thank you for reading 🤍

No, I believe the over 35 6 month is standard for NHS, but the wait times are huge even for initial consultation so your GP does the referral but in my area you can easily then be waiting 12 months just to see the fertility clinic for your first appointment, then you have to book in for test, book in appt for results (one of my friends had to wait 11 weeks after her tests just to get the results appointment as they wouldn’t send them over email/text and that was the time until next appointment), then if you do need further treatment it’s more waiting.

Everyone has their own opinion but leaving it to chance without checking medically all is okay is much riskier at 37 than it is at 27, that’s my point really.

Lots on TikTok about women mainly in America that use it to do with thinning mucus could be all a faff but I tried anything lol x

We have a child together already so we’ve been told we wouldn’t get any help anyway, I think I’m just being a bit premature and need to just try to relax a little about it. There’s nothing wrong medically so we’re ok there thankfully. Thank you all so much for your replies I’m incredibly grateful 🤍 x

The long wait times seem to be across the board right now with the NHS unfortunately but, for whatever reason, my friends GP won't even start the process with referrals etc until they've already been trying for 12 months.

I do get what you're saying about not waiting to get tested etc but that isn't what the OP was asking on this thread and besides, they're not mutually exclusive. Nothing stopping a couple getting the referral, tests and investigations etc but also stopping tracking etc and taking the pressure off while they wait for that - especially if they've been doing everything else for a long time already without success. A mental 'break' could be just what they need.

Yes this happened to me, I tracked everything religiously for a year & had no luck. Each month I'd feel more heartbroken & convinced myself something must be wrong.
We decided to take a break from trying, so we booked a big holiday to take my mind off things...
I fell pregnant that very same month, DS is now 14 months
I was 34 at the time

It took us 2.5y after MC and it was putting me in such a bad mental state as I couldn't think of anything else that I had to let go of testing and DTD on certain days. I just followed my body and whenever I felt aroused I just seduced my DH and it worked.

It's got to be worth a try OP

It's very common. I gave up trying and was about to start IVF and I fell almost straight away before any treatment.

I'm a very type A kind of person and Not Trying isn't in my nature!
I tried for 5 month, had a MMC, then tried for another 15 months before falling pregnant with DD.
Each month, I did all of the things, but what probably worked was the HSG I had the month prior, and the clomid I took (i was ovulating, but clomid was given to me anyway to improve my chances).
I wonder if I hadn't done those things, if I'd ever have fallen pregnant.

Yes, we full on gave up. After 3 years of tracking, losing weight, eating healthy, exercising........ we decided it was not going to happen and we should try to just be happy as the 2 of us.

We went away for the weekend, stayed in a stupidly expensive hotel, ate at great restaurants, got absolutely hammered, stayed out all night and had a grand old time. 4 weeks later I realised I never got my period. I was out shopping in the town centre at the time, so bought a test and did it in the shopping centre loos. I was shaking so hard with the surprise I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it home ok. When I walked into the house I must have looked shocked because DH asked what was wrong and I just handed him the test.

Yep agreed. Saying 'it's because you're not relaxed enough' to someone suffering from infertility is basically assigning the blame to them. It used to make me feel awful like it was my own fault that I wasn't getting pregnant.

I don't agree that it's assigning blame at all.

Read the comments on this thread, these are from women who've all been in the exact same position TTC for months or years without success. It's not about those with known fertility issues that require intervention, that's different.

Nobody is saying 'it's your fault you aren't pregnant', it's just women sharing their own stories of what happened when they took a break. It's women trying to help other women.

It won't work for everyone, it may even just be total coincidence that they fell pregnant when they did, but it's not fair to guilt trip women into not sharing their own stories because it makes you feel bad.

For me it’s a no, I always used the Clearblue advanced digital ovulation tests. They worked for us and I liked knowing exactly when we needed to have sex to try to get pregnant. I’ve had 4 miscarriages, various chemical pregnancies and luckily two DC.

Sorry you‘re in this situation OP, I know it’s so hard. Wishing you all the best.

@sel2223 A lot of it is about context I think. Saying to your friend who has been trying for a few months unsuccessfully 'Why not relax and try not monitoring your cycle for a few months?' is very different to what happened to me.

I'd been trying for over a year and was undergoing infertility investigations when a friend (who had conceived basically immediately) said 'It's because you're not relaxed enough'.

That phrasing IS assigning blame to me, whether my friend meant it that way or not and it really hurt me.

I guess it's just a topic about which I'm particularly sensitive. People are of course entitled to share whatever stories they like about themselves.

Yes, and there's a lot of confirmation bias - people don't talk about it if they stopped trying, relaxed and still didn't get pregnant.

With my first I tried for a year, then had two miscarriages in quite quick succession. We thought we should take a break but I got pregnant again despite not having sex at the 'right' time. I was convinced I was someone who it had finally happened for once I stopped trying. Then I miscarried again. DS1 was conceived a while later, while trying very hard, and was finally the one that stuck. I basically never tell that story because it isn't really much of a story - I bet if the 'when we least expected it' pregnancy had worked out we'd have told a lot more people about our happy tale of it working when we finally stopped trying.

Tracking and timing can lead to wrong times

Stop for a wee while maybe 6 cycles - see how you go.

U might find tracking keeps your anxiety going/down