Struggling to get pregnant after a chemical pregnancy

[xCrystalQueenx]

I struggled for a while to get pregnant with #1 and I had a hsg dye test last October 22. Test was clear , tubes are open and in the month following that test i fell pregnant. Tested 14dpo and bled 14dpo , appx 1 hour after my BFP 😞 . Apparently the dye test can increase your chances by 30% in the following month.
Anyway.. it's now August 23 and I haven't been able to get pregnant since.
Has anyone else been in the same situation? It's really disheartening to hear everyone say they fell pregnant the month after a chemical. I haven't met anyone who struggled again afterwards. I guess I'm just looking to hear any long term success stories . We've had all the tests with the clinic prior to ivf and I just don't know if we should proceed with ivf or give it another few months.
I'm 38 so I know time is not on my side.

Snap 38 also and onto month 7 ttc. I got preg pretty quick with my first but ttc a second is proving more difficult. Ive had a chemical in month 2, 4 and 6 confirmed by many different brands and one in particular i cudnt get rid of faint lines for ages!! Loosin hope now. I also read more fertile after chemicals but not in my case!! All initial tests hav come bk clear too so im thinkin my age is literally the reason. Im sorry for ur loss im sorry im also not the success story but you are not alone xx

Hello, we’ve been TTC #1… struggled anyway for a range of reasons but in Nov had a chemical… no sign of any BFP since. I was BFP 11dpo and then it turned to negative after bleeding at something like 13dpo. I was wishing the ‘super fertile’ rule after a chemical would be the case too but for me it just hasn’t happened. We’re on the list to see a specialist hopefully next month although was told she was on sick so likely delayed… I’m hopeful we will move onto IVF. In my opinion, and of course you have to do what’s best for you.. I’d give yourself a stab at whatever you can! Little ones are made in all shapes and forms and IVF can really help make that happen for some. I’ve tried to set myself a plan so I’m on track and feel in control - so I’m happy for us to have 2/3 rounds depending on what’s available on the NHS. Then if that fails, we will look to start the adoption process. We’re both happy if we have to adopt and I know it shouldn’t be second option but we’d like to try all avenues to make our little mini me’s and plans can change along the way, but this helps me feel in control of an uncontrollable situation xx

Hey I’m 35 and have been ttc since a chemical in December. The ‘more fertile afterwards’ is a load of BS and there are no medical studies supporting this. I have had tests done and had good results, consultant said it can be normal to take another 12 months (which is the average so could be a bit longer too…). To be honest I am finding it really hard, I’m trying to remind myself this could all be normal but until I get a bfp I won’t be happy again. Sorry if this is a bit depressing but you are not alone. I’ve had to limit my time on mumsnet because it was making me feel worse, just do what you need to do to look after yourself at what is a really difficult time xxx

@Endomummy I really relate to your post! I go through periods where I’m really active on here and then not on for months depending on what’s best for me at the time. I notice from your name, the word endo. I have endometriosis myself, I’ve had 2 laparoscopic procedures. One which was diagnostic and one to remove adhesions and sort an ovary that was stuck to my womb! Hope you’re situation is managed if you are also with endo while TTC… I suffer greatly each month with pain so every BFN comes with the horrible aftermath which I find adds to the disappointment 😅 it’s tough! No one is alone, even though it may feel it xx

@Yolo23 ahhhh it’s an awful condition isn’t it!? I had excision surgery in nov 2021… but sadly still in lots of pain all the time. I have adenomyosis too and also get recurring cysts after I ovulate. Been told it won’t affect fertility though. I do have a daughter so am v lucky but she’s now 6 and keeps getting upset about not having a brother or sister. I feel a lot of guilt that she may go through life an only child because of me. I am 13dpo and having an endo flare, waiting for AF to start now. Just want to get it over with now. I am sorry you are dealing with this too, it sucks when we suffer enough with endo and then to struggle ttc seems even more unfair xx

@Endomummy it is indeed!! Oh bless you. Glad to hear you have one little one already - I appreciate it doesn’t always make it easier to accept and struggles are felt by many in various situations 😩
I had excision back in May 2021 I believe! Was told before the op that I’d likely need IVF but after the op that everything now seems fine. The BFP chemical gave me some hope as that’s the closest I’ve ever been! I just wish it was that simple and stuck… but hey ho. I’m a bit believer that everything happens for a reason - even when it isn’t apparent at the time.
Sorry to hear you’re going through an endo flare! The only thing that helps me these days are a prescription of zapain from the GP. It eases it completely if I catch it in time thankfully xx I seemed to become immune to the effects of mefenamic acid after taking them since the age of around 15!! X

@Yolo23 Oh I feel the same about the chemical, I have tried to take the positive that my tubes aren’t blocked, it is some reassurance I guess? There’s been some studies showing that low dose aspirin can help people with endo conceive by reducing the inflammation. I am going to keep going until the 12 cycle mark and then re-evaluate. Did you get any relief from surgery? Today has been pretty awful. I have tramadol and paracetamol but only takes the edge off really. I have been stuck in bed most of the day and been pretty much out of it, the pain gets so intense. I’ve tried mefenamic acid before but didn’t find it made a difference. Now im avoiding NSAIDs because they can interfere with ovulation etc. Do you get bad ovulation pain too?xx

@Endomummy same! I thought.. ok this has to be a step in the right direction, but I’m not sure whether it’s really helped or not 😂 probably more encouraging than not.

oh that’s good, can you pick up aspirin from a supermarket or do you need to have it prescribed? Stupid question no doubt..

In terms of surgery, I wouldn’t say pain wise it’s helped in any way however the BFP was after surgery - so it must have helped that situation.

Im sorry to hear you’re so unwell! It is debilitated some times - more often than not. I’d encourage you to try Zapain if you haven’t.. it’s a life saver for me and one tablet is normally enough. 2 if you’re in immense pain eases it entirely but it’s pretty heavy so I wouldn’t recommend 2 unless absolutely needed.

Fortunately I don’t get ovulation pain as such.. I get twinges and pain in my hip when walking but more often than not it’s minor.

hope you’re feeling a bit better today! X

@Yolo23 it’s definitely worth taking what little positive there may be in a shit situation! I got the aspirin from the supermarket.

ahh ok, did you have excision surgery rather than ablation? I am disappointed the pain hasn’t reduced but I guess I just have to accept this is life for me.

thanks I have tramadol and paracetamol which is good, it’s just sometimes the pain is out of control and nothing helps. Glad you don’t get the ovulation pain!

I am ok now thanks. CD6 and feeling more positive. Another cycle so another try :D. How about you?x

@xCrystalQueenx I am really sorry I didn’t mean to hijack your thread! How are you doing? Have you made a decision on ivf? I think I will give it until the end of the year and if nothing then will move to ivf. I say this but every month when I get a BFN I feel I can’t take anymore and need to do ivf now x

@Endomummy im not even sure what I had if I’m honest! I will ask the specialist when I see her on the 21st… they said removal but I researched both and remember excision would be better - although need to be done by an endo specialist.. mine was NHS so probably just ablation I imagine.

Im glad you’re feeling positive 😊 I’m going to order a fertility cup this month I think - seen some good feedback from people trying over a year and it working so why not 🤣 will let you know how I get on although a while off the next cycle for me yet. Still in the midst of AF!

I've been TTC #1 since Feb. Had a chemical in May and BFN ever since! I thought I was the only one out there who didn't get a BFP the very next month.

@Yolo23 ah ok yes excision is definitely the way to go. did you order the cup yet? Tbh I just lie down for 30 mins, let me know if it’s fiddly!? I hope your AF was ok and not too painful.

I am CD10 today so will be attempting every other day during FW this time. I’m tempted to try aspirin too but part of me thinks it’s pointless.

@User657891 hey! I think it’s way more common than you’d think tbh. Most people having chemicals don’t even know they’ve had one and aren’t necessarily tracking and trying as hard as people on forums so it probably skews things. Also the studies that show 12 months to conceive is normal is just conception or time to positive test, not live births. So that figure includes chemicals too. I’m a bit of a geek and have to research as much as possible to be fully informed about everything but I take comfort in science and facts. Also for every person who conceives they are 1 in 3 or 1 in 4, it’s just that you don’t see the other 3/4 people commenting on the same thread. Sorry you’ve also experienced a chemical, it sucks.

@Endomummy cup ordered… it’s arrived and I’ve not opened the box yet 🤣 I was going to show OH but I worry our sexy time may not be as sexy as it first was without this new elephant in the room 👀 😂

AF was ok.. managed to stay on top of strong pain killers - it nearly had me in work but thankfully, zapain to the rescue.

Also, I’ve bought aspirin - so let’s see! Trying all sorts of measures pre appointment on the 21st.

Im CD 9 but I need a bit of TLC before sexy time can commence 😅 we’ve been really busy decorating… I now think I need to decorate myself to start feeling sparkly again 🤣✨😱

Im away on Friday this week which apparantly is when ovulation is 🤦‍♀️ but we’re not testing this month anyway so who cares! How are you? X

@Yolo23 hahahaa I reckon I could do it without him noticing as he seems to go to sleep instantly afterwards 🤣 good luck with it hahaaa maybe try a practice run first before FW lol 🤣🤣🤣

oh I feel the same, trying everything lol. Think I will do cough syrup again although I usually get loads of ewcm anyway. Aside from that I will try and relax although around 7dpo I start losing it 🤣

im good thanks I’m using clear blue ovulation sticks but tbh it’s a waste of time as I know when I ovulate because of the pain. But I like to add the data into my app, what a weirdo. Gives me some kind of feeling of control over this situation and I like seeing when peak day is so I can stop stressing about getting enough sex in hahaaaa. I really never thought this would become my life! Back when we started TTC it was fun and exciting, I kind of miss that feeling!

what’s the appt you are having? Sorry if you mentioned before xx

@Endomummy 🤣🤣😂 I know.. this experience certainly takes the fun out of it sometimes. I can’t wait to test out my fertility cup 👀😱🤣 tbh it’s still in the box… I’m a bit scared to look at what I’m going to be shoving you know where! 😂

TBH, this month I’m not even bothered with trying to get it on time. We’re so busy trying to sort the house to get it up for sale and I’m crazy busy with work, plus a new business so we’re not doing things by halves 😅 it’s not worked every other month so I’m being kind to myself and just letting everything go with the flow - I’ve not even had chance to shave my legs so I’m not feeling the most sexy right now 😬😅

I’m the same with the app though - I think it’s helpful to have everything mapped out in case you need it for anything! It does give me hope and then take it away at various times throughout the cycle when I end up constantly staring at the dates 🤣

We have an appt on the 21st with a fertility specialist (I believe!). I’m assuming it’s fertility and not gynaecology - I think it’s a first NHS appt, with hope to progress into IVF but I’m not sure what to expect in all honesty so I’ll be sure to let you know the outcome 🥰

xx

@Yolo23 hahaaa just close your eyes and think of the end goal 🤣

oh wow you do have a lot going on! It’s good to keep busy and distract yourself though isn’t it.

ahh ok so my first fertility appt was them asking a lot of questions about both of us. The basics like cycle length etc, how long we tried for, history of conceptions etc. Then they booked day 3 and day 21 blood tests and a semen analysis for my partner. But some areas do it differently and the gp does all the tests so the first appt is to go through results. After our results they just said everything was normal so it could be chronic inflammation due to endo that was causing the issue. The consultant said we could go to ivf now or in 6 months (this was back in feb) but we would have to fund privately. After this we had a second opinion on the test results and had a scan as the nhs didn’t do scans or a HSG (but I did have the dye test in my lap so they didn’t think it needed repeating). Anyway the private consultant said everything was good and sometimes it just takes time… the 12 months to conceive is just when they advise to go for testing but it can take longer to conceive and it’s within normal limits. i hope this is somewhat helpful as to what you might expect. The nhs were not very thorough with us tbh, I think you are meant to have scans etc. I had them through the endo clinic but not fertility x

Just to update. We've started the process of ivf.
I suppose we'll just continue trying until then.
Currently cd10. I think im going to take a more relaxed approach this cycle. No bbt and opks

@Endomummy thank you - that’s all super helpful!!

Well… I tested the fertility cup out 🤣 couldn’t help but think that I may be putting a barrier up against the one sperm that would get the job done 🤣😅 also, as I was relaxing with it all this month… I decided to test ovulation AFTER BD and it was a strong negative so I’m fairly certain it was pointless but hey ho.. we gave it a go lol.

Its been such a busy time. Probably too busy! We are off to Budapest next week which is lovely but it’s come at the worst time with work and the house. I’ve a stressful couple of weeks. Keeping fingers and toes crossed for some positive news at our appt on Thurs.

Hows everything going with you? Xx

@Yolo23 oh well it’s good for a test run then 🤣 how long do you leave it in for? Have a lovely time away! It’s not nice being stressed and rushing around with lots of stuff going on but can be good to keep busy too.

Things are ok with me… we only managed to dtd 3 days before ovulation so not great, I would have preferred to attempt again 1 or 2 days before. But didn’t want to put the pressure on so tried the relaxed approach and this is the outcome 🙈 I am having pretty awful pains after ovulation this month, worse than usual so probably too inflamed for anything to survive in there anyway. I’m sure this month will be like the others, BFN but I expect it now so hopefully will be easier when it gets nearer to AF and I start acting nuts 🤣

thinking I will start the aspirin shortly. I’ve taken 2 different painkillers already today but may as well add to the concoction as this is bloody awful. Screw endo!

@Endomummy 20 minutes apparantly! 🤣 I heard if you leave it longer then you’re at risk of a UTI so something to be mindful of…

It is lovely being busy however I have come out in so many god awful spots which is evidence of my stress levels right now. So while TTC for once isn’t my main concern, I am worked up with everything else unfortunately 😅

I’m not even having chance to prepare for my appointment on Thursday because we’re trying to get the house valued by Friday…… ugh! I guess a good old google at midnight tomorrow will have to do. I am zonked.

sorry to hear about your ovulation pain. My gosh, I didn’t even realise this was a proper thing until now. Fortunately, mine is only just before and the start of AF. I can’t imagine if I had to deal with it more than two occasions every month.

Ive failed with the aspirin 😅 just keep forgetting to take it and we’re not really trying this month - I missed all fertile days. DTD maybe 2 days after ovulation so unless I’m Mary, there won’t be a Jesus 🙃

@Yolo23 oh ok defo want to avoid uti’s!!

I hope things have calmed down a little now, are you able to relax a little this weekend? How did the appointment go?

I failed at the aspirin, took it once and then kept forgetting. Not sure there’s much point taking it now. Will try and remember next month as I’m pretty sure our one attempt during FW won’t have worked. I’m 6dpo now and always seem to go slightly loopy and depressed around 9DPO. I’ve decided to go into the office (I usually wfh) as hopefully that will distract me and stop me endlessly google the same 9DPO stuff that I’ve done for the last 2+ years 🤣 who knew ttc would be such a headfuck!?

i have a private appt next month after my period so will be having another antral follicle count and scan to check for any issues.

@Endomummy completely relate to the loop at 9dpo 🤣😬

This weekend we’re busy sorting the house to go up for sale! So no rest for the wicked however we are off on a City break on Tuesday so I have a week off work (which is MUCH NEEDED). Although I may have to do a bit of work while away 😭 😂

The appointment went really well thank you! She’s referred us straight onto IVF and said it’ll take around 26 weeks max so that’s good - and less than expected! Already though I’ve started to get in my own head and think about all the possibilities 🤣 we’re due to get married June next year and I’m thinking aww wouldn’t it be lovely if I was pregnant at our wedding… but I’m trying not to get too ahead of myself. She said the chances were 30% on IVF and obviously I have no idea on my egg quality and everything else so we will see. Nice to be positive though!

Fair to say I’m the same as you with the aspirin.. I’ve not bothered and tbh this month I KNOW we missed fertile window so it’s been nice to just have a chill and not get in my own head with what dpo I am right now - because it doesn’t matter.

I hope work goes ok for you today. Distractions can be so good in these times.

great to hear you have a private appointment! X

Oh god it must be awful doing the house. I can’t imagine trying to sort ours out, we have way too much stuff. I’ve been trying to declutter for ages but it’s an ongoing battle. That’s nice you’re off on a break!

do you get to choose where you have the nhs round? I looked at the hfea results and decided if we do ivf I will do it with Argc. They said for my age the chances are 70% which I was surprised at, but it’s a numbers game and can take a few cycles. May be worth looking if you can have your round at a clinic with the highest results (argc is private only, I’m not sure how it all works). Our second option was crgh, they also do nhs altho we don’t qualify for any nhs rounds as have a DD. She has been going on about not having a brother and sister this weekend.

I agree it’s a welcomed break but I do think in a couple of days I will start wondering ‘what if that one time worked’. Frankly it’s ridiculous… I actually conceived DD when I was so unhealthy, I was drinking and smoking and eating badly and also very stressed at work. We weren’t trying at the time. Weird how things go. I immediately quit smoking… yet here we are after years of eating healthy, exercising, no drinking or smoking and nothing to show for it!! Xx

@Endomummy honestly! It’s such a pain 🤣 there’s just so much to sort and we seem to be getting nowhere but somewhere at the same time.

im looking forward to some time away although I’m like 5 days away from AF so it’s going to hit on the last day 😬 I’m always worried about taking my zapain medication abroad as it’s classed as opioids in some countries. Crazy!! I always have to do a tonne of research but I can’t really travel without it either so fingers crossed Budapest is ok.

It is crazy how life pans out. We can’t choose where we have treatment but my gosh 70% success rate!? That’s incredible. We have decided that we would do 2 rounds on the NHS and then pay for a third private (I’m always hopeful for ‘third time lucky’ in life) so that’s our plan. Then we will seriously consider adoption - though my sister has said openly in the past she would be a surrogate for me (bless her!!) 😂. I never thought I may actually be taking her up on the offer.

I hope work has been ok this weekend. Look forward to catching up when I’m back xx

@Yolo23 hey how was your trip away? Was it ok taking your pain meds? I really relate to that, whenever we go on holiday I always check I can take mine otherwise we find a different country to go to! I feel sorry for all the women with endo who are left without proper pain killers.

that is so lovely of your sister! Hopefully it won’t come to that but good to have a last resort if needed. Any idea when you will start ivf?

my period came as expected. Disappointing but on to a new cycle. Now 10 months ttc since my chemical, which took 11 months to conceive after endo surgery. Am I silly for being hopeful that it can’t take too much longer. I keep flipping between thinking we need to start ivf asap because of my age (35) and thinking my numbers are good and I’ve conceived twice so give it a bit longer. It’s so hard!! I’m also an impatient person anyway and we tried for a while before endo surgery so all in all it’s been 2.5 years. So frustrating.

my DD was conceived in October and weirdly I am due to ovulate the same date I ovulated when I conceived her. Would be amazing if October was my lucky month again, but probably too good to be true!!

I ordered proceive omega 3 so am adding that to my supplements (proceive max women and ubiquinol). May also give the aspirin a go and try to be better at taking it!!

hope all is well with you xx