Saw the GP today...

[Got2besoon]

Well after 16 months of ttc number 2 and one mmc at the start, I finally bit the bullet and saw the GP this morning.

She was lovely and she's going to order some bloods and a sperm analysis for DH. She also took a swab today (for Chlamydia I think).

I'm sad that I'm at this point and a little angry too. I thought my DS would have a sibling by now and I just want this fertility journey to be over. Definitely grateful to have DS but fearful no more will come.

Is anyone else at a similar stage in their fertility journey?

@Got2besoon Sorry that it was a BFN and that you are getting poor support from your Practice. It isn’t cracking- it is taking control and hopefully you will get some good advice from a clinic. How many days DPO are you? When is AF due?
Sorry that your toddler is unwell.

I am 10dpo today- all my usual PMS is here. I’m due on Sunday. Still no result from DH’s repeat analysis but not sure that it will have improved.

Thanks @Keeptrying32

I'm 11dpo but also feel AF on her ugly way. I'm very emotional, as is the norm for me for 10/11 dpo.

DS has a cold but also asthma which just makes it tricker to manage, so I'm keeping a close eye on him and trying to keep him busy inside.

Fingers crossed for the sperm analysis. You never know!

@Got2besoon It is rubbish when they are ill. I’ve seen so many unwell children this week- the strep A is worrying parents and they are quite rightly contacting us to review. Hope he recovers quickly. My DS is full of snot right now but is full on beans jumping on me any chance he gets. Managed to entertain him with playdoh for nearly two hours this afternoon but I’m running out of play ideas.

I hope that it doesn’t show up for you. And make sure you get that gin if it does!

@Got2besoon so sorry, I completely understand- I have thought about testing myself this month as there are a hell of a lot of end of term parties and events going on around me and so much good looking wine everywhere! And sorry to hear both the little ones are ill. Mine is recovering now but it's been a bad few nights of sleep! How did you decide which private clinic to go with, if you don't mind me asking? I also understand the nhs are so busy but at the same time feel I have lost the last six months having been told to just carry on trying ...

@Keeptrying32 hope the results come in soon. Keeping toddlers entertained indoors is exhausting, isn't it?!

Think my AF is on the way too. Has some super mild cramping yesterday morning, I don't know what this is exactly but I usually start spotting a couple of days later.

My usually very sensible DH looked shocked when I mentioned sperm analysis to him yesterday. I'm going to have a chat soon to ask him to just please do a bit more thinking and research about it all as I feel i am bearing a lot on my own. He is great but has faith it will just happen. It's kind of lovely but ... he might just be wrong!

Men!!

I've chosen the Lister fertility clinic. Location wise, it's handy. They also have reasonable prices and success rates.

No idea what they're really like, but hopefully they're good at communicating, results are quick and they make me a plan (so I can make a baby!!).

@Got2besoon Let us know how you get on. Looks like we are going to be heading that way soon. After telling myself I wouldn’t take a test until my period was late I’ve done a test. I’ve had really sore boobs and had spotted yesterday or day before as I normally would. It was BFN so sore boobs not pregnancy related.

@oliveroses Your DH sounds a lot like mine. It took me a while to convince him to do it and even with the abnormality he keeps talking about when it happens rather than me that says if.

DH is working this weekend so it is just me and DS. I’m trying to make it fun but my mind keeps drifting to being pregnant. Hence why I did the test. Don’t know what is worse- getting my hopes up and imagining what it would be like next summer with a baby to now feeling upset that it hasn’t happened.

Oh, I'm sorry @Keeptrying32 I hope you have a lovely weekend with your DS. We discovered the Elf on a Shelf movie which my little guy liked, and he's finally getting the hang of making cards /pictures, so we did one for his grandad who is poorly.

I'm planning on forgetting about ttc over Christmas and will DTD around my fertile period (around Christmas day!) but might not track as I'll be away seeing family. I won't hold back on the lovely food and festive booze. I was actually pregnant for Christmas last year (my missed miscarriage), so it will be a funny one as I was sure I'd have another one on the way now.

I did feel a real sense of relief when I booked the private appointment.

I'm hopeful we can do something that's not ivf (maybe clomid with iui), but will do ivf if it's recommended.

As I'm less than 35, if we do go for ivf, chances are relatively good (about 40-50% per cycle).

It's funny, I was reading up on ivf about 6 months ago but in the back of my head thinking "no way I'll need it, I'm being silly!".

@Got2besoon AF is due tomorrow so if it shows up I will be due to ovulate around Xmas day as well. We are away as well- we are at my in-laws. Definitely not going to going track and let myself enjoy the Xmas booze. As much as it pains me I think taking the next 2 cycles off from tracking is best as the next one after Xmas is around my exam to. So might be best to come at it fresh at the end of January which in the grand scheme of things isn’t too long.

Be kind to yourself with Christmas and being pregnant last year.

Where did you find the elf on the shelf movie. I’m trying to find a few Xmas themed movies suitable for DS as he is a bit young for the ones I usually put on (elf etc)

@Keeptrying32 Sounds like a good plan and, who knows, maybe taking a little pressure off will do us both a bit of good.

It's actually the elf on the shelf sequel (I just re checked!) and its on Netflix. I agree, most other Xmas movies don't hold his attention. I might try The Snowman next time :)

I hope you're study is going well. I'm always in awe of people who do post uni exams. I am very much in the "I hate exams!" camp and vowed that my last exam to become a vet 10 years ago was the last I'd ever do I still have nightmares about failing that exam now!

@Got2besoon oh definitely can’t wait to be done with exams! I left medical school and thought yay I’m done. Then quickly remembered that it isn’t the last of it. Hopefully I’ll be done soon then just have to get through the actual minimum training time.

The snowman is such a good idea. We did watch stick man earlier which he has always loved.

@Keeptrying32 @Got2besoon I also tested today! I just couldn't bear the rollercoaster of am i, aren't I, this month. Like you I'm going to try and forget about all of this over Christmas and get on with my life a bit. And hopefully go into the new year with a bit more of a balanced outlook (ha, I say that now!) I do feel that if I can let go of the panic and the bitterness I might have a better chance.

I confess I hadn't realised how expensive ivf is. I will be booking a private clinic next year. I hope there might be a solution before ivf especially as for my age range it's likely I would need several cycles if I were to be successful.

Going to watch some of these Xmas tv recommendations!

@oliveroses sounds like we are all very much on the same wavelength this month.

So AF showed up this afternoon. I didn’t have any spotting this month which is odd for me but oh well- I knew yesterday with the pregnancy test that I wasn’t pregnant. I cried for about 10 minutes told myself that was enough. I’ve taken my son out this afternoon and really trying to live in what I have rather than what could of been. I talked to DH last night when he got back- we are going to take the next two months off trying- no tracking, no timing doing the deed, just purely when we want to. Then after my exam we will look at seeing a fertility specialist rather than waiting until March. we’ve had nearly two years with consistent trying and only once or twice missed my fertile window with DH being away so I don’t think the next two months will make any difference. I oddly feel ok about it- feels like I’m taking control but also taking the pressure off for two months.

Pretty sure in two hours I will be balling my eyes out but trying to reframe my thinking a bit.

@Keeptrying32 I think that sounds really sensible. It won't hurt to give yourself a break, and who knows, maybe it will reset something. I don't really have a plan other than to start with the GP tests. I tried to book on econsult but they are overloaded with requests and not reopening the service til tomorrow. The acupuncturist I see also said she'd refer me at some point and as I've seen no improvement in my spotting I think that time is coming. But as you say, I'm the meantime I'm going to try and forget and get myself in a better place. Maybe some time off work will help with that.

Funny that you didn't spot this month. The spotting is such a mystery to me. And I don't know, from what I've read online, whether many people get to the bottom of what causes it in each case. Hope you have a relaxing evening. I think we will all feel better in a few days x

Oh, I weirdly didn't spot this month either. This usually happens when my luteal phase is longer (12 or 13 days rather than 10 or 11). I do wonder if its a progesterone level thing.

I may well try Agnus Castus again this month as this cycle I took it and my follicular phase was 12 days while my lutral phase was 13 (which is pretty good going for me!).

I'm sorry you ladies didn't get a BFP this month, but it's only a matter of time :)

@Got2besoon that's a very positive way of looking at it, thank you! I might try Angus castus too. I have seen so many people raving over it. I'm already on a preg vit and topping up vits b and d, hope that is okay!

Booked a gp appointment but it isn't til 9 Jan which is roughly when my Jan AF will arrive. Still spotting here but quite a lot. Expect AF today or tomorrow. If tomorrow that will be five days of luteal phase spotting, more than usual.

Trying to adjust my thinking over all of this still. I do feel pretty defeated but I'm not crying this month at least. I just feel exhausted by it. Seeing the acupuncturist today. Think I will get some Christmas gel nails done afterwards. Hope you've been enjoying mulled wine etc x

Hi again everyone, haven’t been on this thread in a while. Update from me is OH finally got the sperm analysis appointment through for January..can’t believe it’s taken so much longer than all the tests I got done within 4 weeks of seeing GP!
Currently in the TWW…next AF is due around the 26th/27th so praying for a Christmas BFP but if I’m honest I just really don’t feel like I will ever see that BFP 😞 I’ve been reading stats that say 80% conceive within a year, I’m on cycle 9 and this whole process is just exhausting and consumes so much of my thoughts and day to day life now! I’ve tried so many different supplements but ran out a couple of weeks ago and just lost motivation to even take anything now. Anyone else feel the same?

Best of luck @emhope . I know they say those statistics are meant to be reassuring but they tend to worry me more. Like, why am I the outlier?!

As promised, I have an update on my private fertility appointment.
Firstly, DH and I agree we're really pleased we went ahead with it.

The doctor was brilliant; professional, friendly and really reassuring.

He did a quick scan and said all looked well and was happy with my follicle count. He also pointed out the c section scar on my uterus, which I thought was pretty cool.

He said DH's 2% morphology doesn't concern him as his spern count was normal.

He suggested I could have a blocked tube caused by my c section or a mucus build up, and advised a HSG, as it can act as both a diagnosis and treatment. He said many women find themselves pregnant after one. So that's scheduled for this month plus he's starting me on Clomid.

I'm so excited as he thinks chances are good that this approach should work within 3 or 4 months. Let's bloomin' hope so!

@Got2besoon that sounds amazing! Okay that has really inspired me to get going and book something... i really hope it works for you, it sounds so brilliant that the specialist is so positive!

I tried to buy the Agnus castus but was thrown as some is in capsules and others are drops. What did you get and what dosage?

Good to hear from you @emhope. I know what you mean and I've missed my vitamins a couple of times lately. But I feel I have to keep going x

@emhope good luck for this month. If you want another 90% conceive by end of year two (Medic in me sorry). You haven’t hit that year mark yet so you could be in the 80%. I have my fingers crossed for you.

@Got2besoon That sounds really positive. I’m glad you have a plan and I am hopeful it works for you. Still waiting for DH’s repeat sperm analysis result here but hearing that makes me hopeful as DH’s initial result was all normal including count except a 1% morphology. I expect he got the result today but as I’m working late we have talked about it yet. We are definitely going ahead at end of Jan with seeing a specialist to. I have my fingers crossed for you and I know of a couple of people who got pregnant the month after their HSG.

We got DH’s analysis results. There has been an improvement. So morphology is 3% this time (1% last time) and rest of the parameters are good. We are still going to see a specialist after my exam but I’m taking the improvement as a good sign.

@Got2besoon That's really great news :D Sorry, been following along this thread to see how you got on :)

I had no idea which to get @oliveroses but I found one on Amazon called Premeze.

That's fab news @Keeptrying32 , I'd say you're feeling some relief.

I'm itching to go now and want my HSG to be booked in right away! I think Christmas may scupper my plans though :/

@Keeptrying32 that's great news! You must be pleased with that improvement. Fingers crossed!

@Got2besoon yes, bet you are raring to go with the treatment!

Feeling a bit glum right now. My period finally arrived - longish cycle for me at 29 days, but I spotted/bled lightly for a full 7 days before it. Just seems like something that is going to be very hard to get around. I emailed the specialist but I think I'll follow up after the nhs test results come in next year. The specialist consultation is £565 which is a little bit more than I'd expected for the initial chat though it does include tests and ... if it helps me have a baby, fine!

@oliveroses Oh, that does seem a wee bit expensive.

I think we saved money as the GP did my day 21 day bloods and DH's sperm analysis plus I did my amh bloods with Superdrug.
I think the private consultant would have done all of those tests last week if we didn't have such recent results for him to assess.

As you say though, it's all just a drop in the ocean if it means we get our babies!

@Got2besoon the website says they might be able to use recent tests done elsewhere so I will ask if they can use the nhs results! I think they will still want to do their own scan which is fine x