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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Hi - anybody else 'secretly' trying for next baby?

29 replies

cluckyagain · 17/01/2008 15:58

Hi - dh and I recently decided to go for another lo, but due to various circumstances (disapproving family mainly!) we've decided to keep it entirely secret - am I the only one?

OP posts:

missnevermind · 17/01/2008 16:04

No - me too.
Had my sister round today saying it would be lovely if I had another now the boys are all grown up and I said I didnt think it was a good idea now. Even though we have been trying for nearly a year!
Have not told any family and only my best friend.

Original poster

cluckyagain · 17/01/2008 16:08

Weird isn't it!! I have one friend who knows too, (I had a blub on her shoulder) which helps, but it's really lonely....I suspect we may only try for a short time as I'm a touch impatient and want to either be pg or 'move on'.

OP posts:

Scotia · 17/01/2008 16:11

I am (well me and dh!). Won't tell anybody until/if it happens - am getting on a bit and dd1 will be 25 this year, so not sure how it wil go down.

Marne · 17/01/2008 16:15

We are secretly trying [shhhh] for no 3, dh is worried as he is 40 this year (i'm 26). If i get pg dh wants to tell his family it weas'nt planned as he is worried at what they might think.

GryffinGirl · 17/01/2008 16:17

We haven't told anyone in RL at all we are TTC - no friends and/or family. I don;t want the pressure or the comments/interferance.

Original poster

cluckyagain · 17/01/2008 16:28

There are a few of us!

OP posts:

MrsTittleMouse · 17/01/2008 16:30

We didn't tell in RL for DD (turned out we had massive fertility problems so ended up telling a select few). Was really glad that we kept it so secret as I would have hated to have had to explained to everyone why I wasn't pregnant. Now about to TTC number two, but it's unlikely to happen, so only our parents know (well, and you lot!).

mibbes · 17/01/2008 16:54

I am also a "closet ttcer". All friends are convinced we will never have children so am hoping one day (hopefully in the not too distant future) to shock them all ! Had to tell BF as she kind of guessed - she knows me like a sister and was overjoyed !

Broodymumof2 · 17/01/2008 17:08

marne your dh should not be bothered by what his family says, i am 29 and my dp is 42.
we have been together 10yrs this year and have 2 dd's and trying for our third ........we are not telling anyone but not for their sake just ours (we told everyone last time and then i had MC, cant face everyones pity again)............... but i would tell his family it was planned so they know how strong you are together ..............lets face it they prob still moan planned or not!
good luck.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/01/2008 17:09

Marne Be proud and say it was planned. If the family disapprove I think they will be more insulting if they think you had an accident.

Good luck to all those trying.

MrsTittleMouse · 17/01/2008 17:09

DH and I were at a wedding recently where the groom was freely telling everyone how keen they were to have children. I'm probably a bit warped by our experience but we were both thinking "Nooooooo!!!! Don't tell everyone!!!!!", because then it becomes so obvious if children aren't forthcoming.
Besides which, if you tell everyone that you're TTC, you're really saying "we shag without contraception" which is a bit TMI for RL I think.

MrsArchieTheInventor · 17/01/2008 17:11

Last September I told my mum that my period was two weeks late and she hit the roof, even though I also told her that I'd done 2 pregnancy tests and they were both negative! I thought she'd be more supportive so I'm all for trying for the next baby and not telling anyone.

SlightlyMadShrek · 17/01/2008 17:19

I didn't think anyone necessarily told friends and family they wer ttc. We certainly didn't...I didn't want all and sundry to know we were at it like rampant rabbits.

I thought the question was going to be are you (i,e, the women) secretly ttc without DP/DH's 'knowledge'.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/01/2008 17:19

Why did she hit the roof and what has it got to do with her?

motherhurdicure · 17/01/2008 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bobsmum · 17/01/2008 17:33

I was thinking along the same lines as Shrek!

It would never have crossed my mind to tell people when we were trying for a baby. It's nobody's business except me an dh's! Unless we were having problems which might require intervention, then I would just keep it b/w me and dh.

I was gobsmacked when my neice (6) told me that my B&Sil would be trying for another baby after their summer holidays. I just didn't think it was something that was talked about, and certainly not with young children. TMI!

Broodymomma · 17/01/2008 19:49

Another closet ttc lady here! I have a gorgeous 9 month old conceived through ivf an am just praying now for a natural miracle. Cant cope with the constant questions from friends and family so have just said we are stopping at one. Doubt it will happen anyway but i can hope and hey its fun trying without ivf!! Goo luck to you all x

lostittoday · 17/01/2008 20:00

ttc my second dc and have not told a soul.
I am 37 years old and I am not taking it for granted I will concieve easily may take ages or not happen.

Don't want people sitting thinking why it hasn't happend then.

Hope you all get your BFP.

lostittoday · 17/01/2008 20:00

ttc my second dc and have not told a soul.
I am 37 years old and I am not taking it for granted I will concieve easily may take ages or not happen.

Don't want people sitting thinking why it hasn't happend then.

Hope you all get your BFP.

MrsEi25 · 17/01/2008 20:40

i am a closet TTCer aswell!! me and DH decided to keep it quiet as we were hoping for a xmas BFP which i didnt get but we still havent told anyone cos i dont want to be constantly questioned and pressured. we kept TTC our DD quiet aswell so it was nice to see the surprise on everyones face. also i am at uni and up to now everyone is sayin we should wait whenever the subject is raised. me and DH have got other ideas though as we dont want a huge age gap between our DCs.
xx ei xx

clouisewood · 17/01/2008 21:04

We have been TTC (well 'seeing what happens') for a few months now and still nothing. DD1 is 27 months. Had my last period on 6th of Jan..this was also my last period when i concieved with her so if we're lucky this month then they might have the same birthday

oliviaelanasmum · 17/01/2008 21:14

We are seeing what happens too, dd3 is only 16 weeks but i have had 2 mc between her and dd2 (2.8) and as i have pcos and was told i was likely infertile after dd2 it may take a while or never happen again. Dp wants to have one in the next few years or we will stop as he feels he is getting to old, he is 43 and im 25.
Dp's family also lectured us when i fell pg with dd3 as they felt we couldnt afford another However we are getting on swimmingly

clouisewood · 17/01/2008 21:21

It's annoying when people comment - it's not of their business. It's not like they have to carry a baby around for 9 months, wake during the night or worry about teething!! Oliviaeleanasmum: my DP feels as though he is getting old too - he is 48 and i'm 22, so he's right!! Sorry to hear about the mcs. Best of luck for no3. X

oliviaelanasmum · 17/01/2008 21:23

Hopefully it will no.4!!! Already have 3dd's, so one more and i'll be finished! Im not the only one with a large age gap relationship then! We dont notice it and he does look young for his age but as my dad is only 11 months older than dp it can get confusing for strangers!!

clouisewood · 17/01/2008 21:31

Sorry I misread DD2. No, you're not the only one. We don't notice it either but when we went to buy a new car recently the boy commented, "I wish my dad would buy me a car..." Hilarious when my DP squeezed my bum on the way out!!

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