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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

997 replies

BambiOnIce80 · 23/10/2018 12:42

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

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terriwrist · 28/11/2018 16:32

Thanks @VenusStarr .

terriwrist · 28/11/2018 16:46

BTW read your full message @VenusStarr . Sorry to hear you had the session cancelled :( .

VenusStarr · 28/11/2018 17:16

Thank you @terriwrist ended up crying on the phone to them :( trying not to let it get on top of me but it has affected my mood

MrsRRC · 28/11/2018 18:05

@BambiOnIce80 Ooh lip balm my other passion in life - good purchase. Was it a good conference?

I’m cd33 but I started spotting again this afternoon, and it’s more like the pre period spotting I occasionally get, so I think I am probably out. It’ll be a bit of a relief because this month has been so weird.

MrsRRC · 28/11/2018 18:15

@BambiOnIce80 Ooh lip balm my other passion in life - good purchase. Was it a good conference?

I’m cd33 but I started spotting again this afternoon, and it’s more like the pre period spotting I occasionally get, so I think I am probably out. It’ll be a bit of a relief because this month has been so weird.

Thanks @LeonieKate I’ve decided not to go, I am not usually one for cancelling but I’ve had a bit of a stomach bug or something this week and now I think AF is on the way I just feel like having a bit of a quiet one.

I completely understand what you mean about feeling flat, like you just want to go on autopilot and process what has happened to you. It will pass, I think doing something nice and good for yourself really helps. I decided to go back to yoga - because I am a big believer in recalibrating my body and even though I am sceptical about some of the more spiritual aspects of the class but I actually found it quite comforting this time and I’ve just had a thought - it’s someone telling me what to and me not really having to think about it. Sending love. X

CNizzle · 28/11/2018 18:20

@terriwrist I'm usually guided by when ov is confirmed on fertility friend, so yeah, after a sustained shift. But in reality it's hit & miss the number of times we manage to dtd in FW.
@VenusStarr that sounds very distressing, cancelling on you so late. I hope it can be rescheduled.

Carley321 · 28/11/2018 18:25

@Trying81 hello... my cycles were (well are) all over the place after stopping the pill. Although I did have a withdrawal bleed, so that’s a little odd. Have you tested?

My first natural cycle after stopping was 87 days the next 40 and one just gone 37 so I am hoping my body is finally working itself out. I’m sure you will be fine, but it is so frustrating. Especially when you just want to plan! It gets really annoying not knowing when ovulation or your period is!

Well I had the flu jab with my doctor today so thought I’d pick her brain. She seems to think my cycles are beginning to regulate and said wait another 2 to 3 months and if they are still more than 30ish days to go back for some bloods.

BambiOnIce80 · 28/11/2018 18:30

@MrsRRC it was pretty good, thanks 🙂 Good to hear it sounds like this weird month is nearly over for you. Don't blame you for cancelling tonight - if the weather's anything like if is here then it's definitely a night for staying in on the sofa in pj's! 🌧️☔🌬️

That's terrible cancelling on you at that late notice @VenusStarr 😢 I had counselling when I got divorced and it helped me soooo much. I hope they can fit you in ASAP.x

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terriwrist · 28/11/2018 19:37

Thanks @CNizzle

Kescilly · 28/11/2018 20:27

@VenusStarr I think I would have cried too, that must have been so frustrating. I hope that they can reschedule you soon (and stick to it).

Trying81 · 28/11/2018 21:47

Hi All

Yep I’ve tested, Just on the off chance that we conceived right away and it was a BFN

I’ve been on and off the pill since I was 16 and have always had withdrawal bleeds in the past so it is very bizarre that I’ve not this time. I had really sore boobs about 3 weeks ago, and felt sick so tested then, though in hindsight that was way too early, so I tested again on Monday just in case and still nothing. Keep thinking of the irony that I’ve always been meticulous with contraception, then the one time I’m not using any I don’t ovulate.

MrsRRC · 28/11/2018 22:04

@VenusStar If you can possibly afford it, go private for counselling. I had it when I came out of a long term relationship that had it’s own set of unpleasant issues and I think if I’d had to wait for it, I’d have found it very difficult as I was quite isolated from my friends and family.

At the time I had to forgo petrol money to go and see my family and other things in order to afford it, but that impartial ear and the magic of a really good counsellor was worth it’s weight.

I just had a quick look and certainly locally here in Kent some counselling services offer special rates for those on low earnings or base their fee on a percentage of earnings.

Kescilly · 28/11/2018 22:09

@Trying81 I had been off BC for years and had fairly regular cycles. And then as soon as we started TTC they went totally bizarre and irregular! It’s like our bodies know we are paying attention now and decide to mess with us.

Trying81 · 28/11/2018 22:12

@Kescilly I think you’re right, our bodies like playing tricks on us

Kescilly · 28/11/2018 23:00

I meant to update everyone, we finally got our NT results back and it’s low risk. I’m still a little nervous because the Down Syndrome risk seemed pretty high to me, about 1 in 650. But it’s considered low risk so we are going to take it as a win and try to relax more now.

CNizzle · 28/11/2018 23:42

@kescilly Great news Smile I hope you are able to relax a bit more now. Wishing you a happy & healthy pregnancy xx

MrsRRC · 29/11/2018 07:17

@Kescilly you are so right! I genuinely think it’s the stress of ttc. So happy it’s all good news for you. Time to relax and enjoy Christmas 🎄

BambiOnIce80 · 29/11/2018 07:35

Fantastic news @Kescilly 💖😊

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PixieN · 29/11/2018 07:59

Lovely news @Kescilly 💕 x

We’re on day 8 using the cb monitor. I had absolutely no clue when it came to using the sticks lol - ended up googling a ‘how to’ video on YouTube and trying to put the stick in the wrong way round in a very sleepy eyed state. This was at 6.30am 😴 😁 I think i’ve got the hand of it now though. It’s just a bit of a faff. I’m not a morning person at all!

Hope everyone else is o.k. Good luck to anyone testing soon x

PixieN · 29/11/2018 08:01

hang lol 😴 😂

79andnotout · 29/11/2018 11:39

@Terriwrist - I usually stop having sex straight after ovulation. My pattern is fairly clear. I get a positive OPK on the evening, ovulate the next day, then have a clear rise the day after. I stop on the day of ovulation. I keep meaning to do another for luck but it hasn't happened yet as we're usually done with it by then.

I've not had a clear rise this month after ovulation so maybe I'm having an anovulatory cycle due to my cold. I did the OPKs again this morning and the cheap and clear blue were both negative so not much to be done about it now anyway.

Loving all the lipstick recommendations! My favourite is this www.spacenk.com/uk/en_GB/makeup/lips/lipstick/velvet-rope-lipstick-MUK200011111.html?dwvar_MUK200011111_color=UK200011111
Bloody expensive but beautiful! I've given a few as presents.

@VenusStar - another vote for going private with the counselling. Not sure where you are but a good counsellor in my neck of the woods is about £40/hour and worth every penny. If you're in the greater manchester area I can throw some recommendations your way (I have favourite ones for different problems!). One of them has seen about 15 of my friends over the years, she's good for general life sorting and proactive positivity.

Great to hear the good news @Kescilly. What a relief.

@Trying81 - took my cycles about a year to settle down after birth control, they were veering around a lot during that time. You can still get pregnant when they're doing that (many friends had the same and got pregnant quickly), it is just more difficult to time everything.

Fingers crossed AF holds off @MrsRRC!

Work stress, being ill, and this shitty weather is getting me down. I just want to hibernate with the pets and watch location location location under the duvet on the couch. Bah humbug.

Kescilly · 29/11/2018 11:57

Thanks everyone! I'm having a much better experience with the NHS now that I'm further along. Saw a consultant today and all the appointments and such are quickly organized now.

Which is great, but I wish there was better support when you're TTC and before you're twelve weeks pregnant. It seems like people here have had mixed experiences, which depend on your area and your GP.

@PixieN I've definitely done that with the sticks by accident! It's a bit of a pain, having to remember first thing in the morning. Do you have an idea of when you can expect your first High reading?

@79andnotout we always stopped after ovulation too. If we had endless stamina, we might have continued. But I thought it was better to hit the days before than a day after. I think I read somewhere once that as we age, The time between our LH surge and ovulation can shorten. Has anyone else read that?

I'm sorry that so many of you have caught winter colds. Fingers crossed that you're getting it out of the way now so that you can have a wonderful Christmas!

QuantumGirl · 29/11/2018 18:57

Hi Ladies, sorry for not posting recently. I decided to take a step back from ttc and have an easy going FW by not trying to think about it. Got a day off work on Black Friday and went shopping which is something I rarely do these days just to remind myself how much better online shopping is. Can't say I bought anything exciting apart from nice things for the house and Christmas decorations which I am putting up this weekend.

@Carley32 I had a look at my data from 2 years ago on Flo (which I didn't know it was there) and when I came off the normal pill in 2016 my cycle fluctuated from 39 days to 20 days and it took nearly a year to stabilise again so there is hope.

A warm welcome to our newbies btw, so nice to see more people in the same boat to share stories (and worries) 😊

Carley321 · 29/11/2018 19:10

@Kescilly that’s great news. Now it’s time to enjoy the moment and start feeling festive 😊.

@QuantumGirl it’s good to have a break and especially good to have a bit of you time! It gets so heavy doesn’t it.
oh really? That’s reassuring I’m feeling a little more positive knowing it is slowly getting less (even if it is only by a day or 2) it’s just a little disappointing that when few week is over, I’m not sure how long I have to wait until there’s another window. Iv had a pretty bad cold and the flu jab so I’m seriously hoping that doesn’t mess with my cycle 🙈.
@Trying81 another bc story for you.

BambiOnIce80 · 29/11/2018 20:22

Totally understand @QuantumGirl 💖 I seem to be yo-yoing between pretty optimistic and "what's the point" today 😏 Only CD13 though, so not sure why I'm getting the 4-seasons-in-1-day emotions 🙄 A break from all the TTC nonsense seems like an awesome idea to me, but then I can't help but feel I'm potentially missing opportunities if I don't track my cycle and make sure we DTD at the FW times! 🤷‍♀️Think I'm going to join you @79andnotout with the bah-humbugness!

I'm wondering if my yo-yoing mood is in part due to this bloody ACU letter still being a no show 😕 I had my repeat prolactin done on Monday and thought I'd be cheeky and see if the surgery had got any appointment information that I hadn't - resounding no 😒 The nurse said that in our area the ACU is choc-a-bloc with referrals because it serves a really big area and the nature of our population (lots of professionals who leave TTC until their biological clocks are well and truly ticking... Yep, sounds about right! 🙄). She said there's no way the appointment would be out until the 7th week of returning the questionnaire at the earliest, which is another 2 weeks of sitting on my hands before I can even ring and check that they even received our questionnaire 😭 Patience is soooo not my strong point right now!! Thoroughly fed up!! 😩

... Whinge over, apologies!

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