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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

To those who haven’t been pregnant at all whilst ttc

50 replies

Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 20:40

Anyone else? I’m suffering with secondary infertility. My DD is 9 and from a previous relationship. My partner and I have been together for 5 years and would love a baby together but after a year of ttc, I haven’t managed to get pregnant at all. I just wondered if anyone else is in the same boat (or has been) and what it was that was “wrong”.

Just to say, obviously I am very fortunate to not have had to cope with any losses during my year of ttc. I just wonder if not falling pregnant at all indicates something very wrong (implantation issues, blocked tubes etc) and whether it can be resolved.

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RavingRoo · 26/11/2017 20:43

I haven’t had a child at all, and no pregnancies I was aware of. I got tested, partner got tested, got on clomid, and was diagnosed with pcos and a potential early miscarriage causing fibroid (the gaenecologist thinks I may have been getting pregnant but losing the embryo really early in the cycle).

Cariad2017 · 26/11/2017 20:54

Bubblegum - we’re in a similar boat, having also spent a year ttc#2 without even a hint of a BFP. We’ve had all the tests and although DH’s morphology isn’t great which has been labelled as a “possible contributory issue” and I only have one Fallopian tube thanks to an ectopic pregnancy whilst ttc#1, on paper there isn’t a clear reason as to why we shouldn’t manage it naturally.

So little is understood about infertility, but one thing I know for sure is that it isn’t linear. I’ve lost count of the number of people I know who struggled to get to DC1 only to fall pregnant extremely quickly the next time round (this includes those who had practically given up after failed rounds of IVF).

emelsie · 26/11/2017 21:02

Has your partner had children previously?

Owlpatrol · 26/11/2017 21:05

Feeling the same and super sorry for myself at times trying for number 1 dh has two from previous so obviously it's not him I need to find the courage to go to the doctor but putting it off till the new year as living on the hope I might be before Xmas

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 21:13

emelsie no he hasn’t but we’ve both had tests done. My bloods were fine and OH’s sperm was fine too!

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Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 21:15

Oh and owlpatrol just because he has children already doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the “problem”. I’ve had a child and it does seem that I’m the reason we aren’t getting pregnant as all of OH’s tests came back normal

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Cariad2017 · 26/11/2017 21:17

Owl - I wouldn’t automatically assume that you are the issue. Just look at my DH - he got me pregnant 3 times in 2014/15 and we’re now being told that he is likely to be the issue... Despite the Mick Jaggers of this world, there’s more and more research pointing towards a decline in male fertility with age as well.

DrizzleHair · 26/11/2017 21:24

If you haven't already had it checked, worth getting your thyroid function tested. My GP and many others don't look at thyroid as a cause of infertility. In fact my current GP doesn't even know it had an impact, I had to tell him, and he said (quote) 'I've never heard of that'

The level for general life should be under 5,but for optimal fertility should be under 2.5ish, so GP might ignore a reading of say 4.5 but it could be the problem.
I don't know if it was for me, but ttc for 15 months, thyroid level at 5.1. Once we started seeing fertility clinic etc I got put on thyroid tablets by the consultant. I conceived the month my thyroid reading stopped below 2.5.

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 21:29

DrizzleHair I’ve had all my hormone blood tests done and my thyroid was fine. I’ve been referred to a fertility clinic for a HSG to check my tubes and I would be willing to bet every penny I have that one or both of them are blocked. I don’t know why, I just have this weird intuition!

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DrizzleHair · 26/11/2017 22:04

Weird you've got an intuition about that, but fingers crossed you're right and it gets sorted ASAP.

I always mention thyroid as I was so surprised my GP said my thyroid was fine but the fertility expert said some GPs have no idea what fine for conceiving is, and that has been my experience

Pibbee · 26/11/2017 22:34

How long do you have to wait for your HSG @Bubblegum89? I have a weird feeling mine are fucked too. Dunno why. Have had other tests (blood tests, and a scan last week), all of which have come back fine, which while that’s obviously good, it even more makes me think there’s an issue with my tubes. Hopefully we are both totally wrong on this....Flowers

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 22:37

That’s interesting DrizzleHair I might mention it again once I get my appointment with a fertility clinic. I don’t know if they repeat blood tests or just take the ones your GP does. And I had 2 US, 1 in Dec 16 and another comparison one in March 17. The dr thought she could see scar tissue in my first one (not seen on the second) I’ve had a d&c before and my periods have changed since I had it so it makes me think that dr was right. But I suppose it could be one of a hundred things lol does thyroid issues give you other side effects other than affecting fertility?

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Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 22:41

I’m not sure Pibbee my GP sent a referral a couple of weeks ago to a fertility clinic so I need to wait for that and for them to send me an appointment then I need to have an initia appointment then make another one to have a HSG so it’s going to be a long way off yet! It’s strange though, I just have always thought my tubes are blocked. I don’t really know why. I have odd twinges in that area during my cycle but I spoke to a few women who did/do have blocked tubes and they all said that they had zero symptoms and wouldn’t have known they were blocked without having a HSG. But yes, let’s hope we’re both wrong!! How long have you been ttc? Have you been referred to a clinic yet?

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Pibbee · 26/11/2017 23:01

I think I’m coming up to cycle 12 but I’ve kind of stopped counting cos I’m in denial 🙈. I came off the pill last December tho (ha and I remember POAS just before NYE to see if would be able to drink that night...oh how naive I was back then!!) How about you?

I have random twinges too, but only on the left. Turns out I have a small cyst in left ovary so that explains that I guess. I only had the scan last week and going to my gp tomorrow to discuss the results. I’m so bored of these doctors appointments. I guess she will refer me to the fertility clinic tomorrow. I had to have scan and blood tests first to even get referred. Hope you get your appt soon

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 23:10

12 months for me too. Had my implant taken out start of December last year. As someone who has got pregnant whilst using contraception, it’s very worrying how I now can’t get pregnant whilst not on contraception! I don’t expect to get an appointment anytime soon but I’ve decided that I’m not going to actively ttc until I do. A year is enough for me to keep facing disappointment so I’m going to take a back seat for a while now. Obviously I’ll still be trying but I’m ditching opks and and fertility apps etc. Too much stress! Good luck for your drs appointment tomorrow :)

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CupcakeEater · 26/11/2017 23:17

Nearly 3 years here, my testosterone levels are too high - every else on both sides seems to be in good working order. Waiting for my fertility referral now, assuming I will get prescribed clomid...

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 26/11/2017 23:27

CupcakeEater oh three years is a long time :( I suppose at least you know what the issue is. Hopefully you’ll get your referral soon! :)

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justmeonly · 27/11/2017 18:12

Me me me.

Never had any hint of ever being pregnant. 13 cycles worth of trying. All this poas talk has me rather confused/bemused. Haven't even bought a pregnancy test. Sad

Pibbee · 27/11/2017 18:15

Me either @justmeonly. Well, apart from the one I naively did on NYE last year. Total bummer isn’t it? All this excitement about testing...I never get to that stage. Hell, I might just do one tonight at 6dpo just for fun Hmm after I get home from my docs appt to discuss my pelvic scan results and hopefully get referred to fertility clinic HmmHmm

Dunzo · 27/11/2017 18:17

Yes I had 5 years of TTC without pregnancy before I had IVF. We finally figured out that it would be impossible for me to get pregnant naturally (sperm issue) and it was such a relief to know that and get on with treatment. Year after year without a BFP was horrendous.

It's hard to admit this but I was actually jealous of people who had miscarriages. I know that sounds awful but I was so low that I felt I would rather have a BFP and be pregnant even for a few weeks than continue the nothingness. Without a miscarriage I had nothing and no one to grieve and yet felt tremendous loss. It's a horrible place to be.

Wishing you every success with TTC Flowers

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 27/11/2017 18:24

Dunzo I went through a stage like that a few months ago. It was kind of a “at least I would know I COULD get pregnant” but I realise how absolutely horrible that sounds. Ttc makes you feel and think things that you wouldn’t normally dream of. I’m glad you finally managed to get pregnant :) I’m now onto cycle 13 as my period showed up today. Maybe it’ll be my turn one day :)

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Pibbee · 27/11/2017 18:26

I know what you mean @Dunzo.

It’s all just shit, isn’t it really

Triskaidekaphilia · 27/11/2017 20:15

Never had a positive test, not with the 4-5 times I've messed up with birth control, countless times we relied on withdrawal and now 7 months of ttc. At the moment I have long irregular cycles so likely to bean underlying reason.

Original poster
Bubblegum89 · 27/11/2017 21:13

Have you been for any fertility testing yet?

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Triskaidekaphilia · 28/11/2017 00:08

I'm going this month to see why my cycles are like this. We've not been trying a year yet which I've heard is when they do full fertility testing/treatment? But hopefully if its a specific issue we can get help sooner if necessary.