We have enjoyed jizzidents and jizznamis. We are fans of having a rummage and we are getting all the baby juice we can to keep the bfp boom going. Join us in JS 59!!!

[ScottishLady7]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 58 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2563504-You-are-not-a-robot-and-the-ovary-whisperers-chanting-for-you-in-the-viroid-commune-with-our-carved-cock-relics-dont-panic-about-the-acid-foof-Its-JS-58" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2564387-Weve-had-birthday-twins-and-therell-be-real-twins-come-the-summer-mini-eggs-and-GTTs-abound-on-the-JSgrads-45th-fred" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2541376-Our-babies-are-teething-screaming-and-generally-not-sleeping-but-were-still-JS-ing-its-Just-Mumming-10" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

stumbly you do make me laugh

sausage I'm sure it's nothing, try not to worry < hugs >

I'm maybe just panicking but I don't know how much more crap I can handle this week

Actually laughing out loud at taming the fanjo jungle!

Oh sausage I really hope it turns out to be nothing, and spotting in early pregnancy is ridiculously common. I'm sure this is the last thing you need though.

I want to piss on all the pissy sticks!
My dilemma is: I have but 1 stick. One, out of date, cheap Boots stick. Tomorrow will be cycle day 28. (Last two cycles were 24 and 30 days long pm who knows what my normal is.) Rough estimate puts tomorrow at 14dpo.
Can I do it tomorrow? Can I? Can I? Ovia says I should Not sure I can last till Saturday!

Spotting is v.common sausage but I'm sending sticky thoughts your way.

Well done to all those who had their fanjos fiddled with today, JSing or medical.

Duck if it's negative will u think "too early" and wish u'd waited? Maybe compromise and test Friday? ...gx

I had plenty of bleeding this pg sausage, so it's not always bad news... deep breaths, take it easy and gx for u

Duck what are you basing 14 dpo on??

Canters well done!

stumbly very polite of you to tame your lady jungle for the docs :)

sausage try not to worry. It may be nothing.

Duck test as long as you think you wouldn't be to emotionally distraught if its a chemical. That's really the biggest danger with testing early imo

So, I donned the cape last night. I think I iced last night as well so I am probably now in the TWOT.

I'm not that hopeful about this cycle given the high fever I had early on-- that's got to be had for eggs etc, no?

I really want to get tested if it doesn't happen this cycle though. We are on month 7 and I am starting to get a bit panicky!

London...we've said we'll pay for some private tests if there's nothing happening after six months. Just to get some reassurance that all is okay or, if not, know what we're dealing with.

Gx for this cycle so you don't have to bother!

Does it mean I'm not fully in the JS spirit if I'm making more effort with the fanjo jungle for the doctor than DP?

Haha! I make more effort for the doc than DP so we'd be in the same boat.

I think I am definitely going to pay for private tests if this isn't our cycle.

I can currently recommend not testing early! If/when this unsticks I will be distraught. If I had hung fire I wouldn't even have noticed AF was late due to my variable cycles. Though my resilience is particularly low this week.

Pant checking reflexively today. Nil further but I've had a very heavy crampy period type pain all morning, different to the implantation cramps I've had. My boobs no longer hurt and so I think it's a matter of time. Lost the plot at OH this morning as he's still away another 10 days and I feel like I'm going through so much on my own. It's not his fault though.

I feel a bit navel gazey here, sorry viroids! Hope it's everyone's lucky cycle

unmumsnetty hugs sausage, it may all just be a bit of implantation bleeding. I have had pretty bad cramps so far too. So hard not to worry though I know.
NFMS (strike): Back from the picket line - took the corgi who was much admired. I think she has a zest for revolution.

Sausage...many for you, unmumsnetty hugs, and

I know the viroids have already said that spotting isn't unusual and doesn't necessarily mean the bean isn't sticking but I know it must be a worry especially with everything else going on.

Is there something nice you can do for yourself...a nice bubble bath, curl up with tea and a book, chocolate?

Corgi...may we see a pic of the revolutionary Corgi? I do like to see pics of people's fur babies and then I can picture him in his Che Guevara t-shirt on the picket line

The medical strike corgi? So so behind all of you. They'll be coming for our (nursing and midwifery) unsocial payments soon. I hate what this government are doing to the nhs. And an actual corgi, I love them! My nn is also my dog type

I wish I'd had a militant dog to picket with! Now on the sofa watching 16 and pregnant and had a little sob when the couple got engaged.

Oh sausage I hope everything's OK. If this turns out to be a chemical (and I pray it's not) it may become apparent anyway- when I had mine I bled for much longer and heavier then normal, which was what led me to test, because I was freaking out. It sucks, I am keeping everything crossed all is OK.

Bfn this morning. I'm blaming it the test being out of date ignoring the fact the control line worked
Went and bought 2 more sticks to keep in the cupboard. Will test again Sunday (day 31) I think.
I'm thinking today is 14dpo because of when I got ewcm, higher sex drive, and the total arbitrary average of 'ovulation occurs on day 14 of a 28day cycle'.
But my last 3 (and only since having ds) cycles have been 8 (yes, 8, wtaf?!), 24 & 30 days long. So I don't know what's going on or when 'late' actually is. I'm a poas addict so any excuse

I'd keep shagging then if I were you. Bonkers cycles are such a pain to know what's going on. Mine were anything from 23 up to 42 days!

sausage big hugs

Duck keep shagging

I am getting a bit navel gazing over here too. One of my good friends at work has just told me she is upduffed - I am delighted for her, it is fantastic news.

However we have just had a baby shower for someone else which I could not get out of, I am not close to her, in fact she cocked a load of stuff up on my maternity leave that actually left me out of pocket (long story, not worth going over) so we are not the best of friends. And whilst I wish her nothing but luck and happiness it is all just a bit much and I am close to meltdown at my desk. I was asked if I'd pregnant again next, everyone is expecting it, I don't know why, and it was really hard.

This is my little revolutionary Rhubarb....

sorry sent that from my phone which drives me mad to type on. back on laptop now - sausage you have a sausage dog!? I love them! stumbly I didn't get her a little T shirt, I definitely should have!

duck : have you POAOPKs at all to pinpoint your icing dates? : you must never use contraband, shag shag shag!

cats urgh baby showers unmumsnetty hugs and .

canters well done for your smear!!! were you also extremely cold at the picket line?! brrr. so depressed though as I think Jeremy is probably just going to steamroller through and I don't know what else we can do. Twatting government.

Ah.....Rhubarb at the picket line is just too adorable!!!

go Rhubarb!

Hi Viroids!
Just checking in to say hi. Currently in the midst of the TWOT. Not too sure how far as Ovia and I are having a slight disagreement...

I hope you aren't going crazy with the TWOT kwick.

Corgi well done for picketing. Your fur baby is delightful. How are you feeling??

Sausage Keeping all of the gingers crossed for you.

Corgi great picketing - I've been covering NICU. I theoretically could have picketed but I'm bloody glad I didn't: t'was one of those mad days.

Duck - definitely a duff test. Can't blame that for my BFN this morning, however, these were my lovely Christmas ICs. CD30 today, no red cars on my driveway. Will have another go over the w/e if she stays away - piss parties always cheer me up :)

Rhubarb is gorgeous corgi

Gx Chat.