We have enjoyed jizzidents and jizznamis. We are fans of having a rummage and we are getting all the baby juice we can to keep the bfp boom going. Join us in JS 59!!!

[ScottishLady7]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 58 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2563504-You-are-not-a-robot-and-the-ovary-whisperers-chanting-for-you-in-the-viroid-commune-with-our-carved-cock-relics-dont-panic-about-the-acid-foof-Its-JS-58" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2564387-Weve-had-birthday-twins-and-therell-be-real-twins-come-the-summer-mini-eggs-and-GTTs-abound-on-the-JSgrads-45th-fred" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2541376-Our-babies-are-teething-screaming-and-generally-not-sleeping-but-were-still-JS-ing-its-Just-Mumming-10" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Warm feet, warm heart womb?

Wankstain ain! Love it. So annoying when they are being cocks!

Viriods - knowledge needed - does the ewcm happen when you ice or before, and if it is before, how long before? I have just had loads - serious cape donning may be needed over the next few days

NFMDr: I have been called and have my scan tomorrow, they should be able to tell me if everything has cleared out after the last chemical. GX.

I've got my usual telltale pre-AF cramps cycle day 25 (if I go with the 'average' icing date it puts me at 11dpo), do I have any hope of convincing myself they're implantation cramps?!

Thinking very sticky thoughts for your clever egg-blasto-thingy Kwick

Very odd cats boob leakage would freak me out. Your hormones are indeed doing something, gx it's a baby-growing something.

cats before usually so get the cape on. Everyone is different but I get ewcm in the two days before I ice. Your boob leakage is v weird! Gx scan is all fine.

duck they could be! Gx!

Thanks Just & Duck GX they are implantation Cramps Duck

Oh, that's good it could be a day or so beforehand - I think it might be a bit icky turning up for my scan with residual jizz if I don the cape tonight. Will insist DH comes home for lunch after

I wouldn't go just by ewcm. I used to randomly get it in my cycle no where near icing

Rubberduck, I had HORRENDOUS cramps on Sat, 11 dpo and I got my bfp on Sunday.

Today is when AF was due and I do feel really crampy and like my period is just away to Start. Boobs hurt and felt shite this morning so hopefully it's just burrowing itself in there nicely.

Hope it's OK I'm still hanging around for now? I don't feel quite ready to graduate yet.

Country It's usually a pretty good indicator for me and has been very reliable in the past. Mind you, with my body becoming ever more bonkers I am trying to stick to JSing every 2-3 days when I haven't got AF (or other random bleeding). Even so, I like to think it gives me some indication, it is about the right time.

hi viroids... still lurking away as still not feeling very preggers at supposedly 6 weeks! Have sore boobs and yet more cramps today. No spotting or anything though. Hopefully will all carry on and be a sticky corglet.
sock so exciting!
sausage hope your sister is OK. what an emotional rollercoaster!
everyone else: sorry I haven't read everything back but hugs all around for those affected by stupid facebook mothers day shit. grrrr.
Just back from Amsterdam last night - had a lovely lovely weekend and now want to move there and be a hippy doctor living on a boat. (we stayed on a houseboat, it was awesome!)

oh and kwick how exciting you are PUPO! [grins]

canters the feet warm thing I think stems from Chinese medicine... I like it as it is something I feel like I am doing to nuture - I try and have ginger tea too for warming properties and have been dosing on cayenne pepper (said to increase uterine blood flow).

Would it be very wrong of me to have a schnooze? I am working from home but a siesta is calling....

do it kwick ;)

Cats... Know what you mean it's nice to know. Your already doing everything by doing every 3 days

Nap away Kwick sleep is good for you and you certainly seem to put in the hours work wise the rest of the time flying all over the place. Enjoy :)

Schnooze did not come but am watching Hitch for laugh factor 😉

Good work kwick.

My patient hasnt turned up so I am drinking tea and staring out of the window. Hard day at work!

I am 8dpo today. Got to say it's going quite quickly this time, but as usual I have no symptoms and nothing out of the ordinary. Was thinking back and the month of the chemical I had sore boobs for 10 or 11 dpo, whereas normally it's only 4 days, as it was this month. Assume this means I'm out and sore boobage duration is my early preg sign? Or can it vary completely between pregnancies?

canters I have sore boobage but this usual with progesterone I am taking. I think symptoms can be different.

canters it means f all, I get boobs sore sometimes, sometimes not. I think the grads would testify that it's totally pointless symptom spotting as each month (and pregnancy) is different.

sausage of course you can stay, but do say hi to grads, they are a lovely bunch.

corgi today you are pregnant, and repeat!

country makes a good point cats , I had ewcm at 10dpo this time. Just shag

Thanks just :*
Agree that boobs tell you f all. Didn't have sore boobs at all this time (weird itchy nips though). The one thing I did have that was odd was thick creamy cm, because normally it dries up post-icing. So that was my only clue really. So hard not to symptom spot when you are in the twot though!

Hooyah for negative symptom spotting?! I suppose logically it would be hard to have many genuine symptoms pre missed AF given the tiny amount of hcg involved. Must remind self of this.

My boobage is killing me.... Just waiting for jimjams to warm up and then will change into a comfort boobage holder

I got a craving for a dish I used to have when I was studying in Spain in the 90's (wow really showing my age - most of you were not even born!) of bacon, tomato, mayonnaise and white bread.... I think it is counterproductive to not listen to inner voice cannot make SW weigh in this week 💃🏻

Kwick this is all very exciting news

Duck gx!!

Sock yay for the scan, must've been pretty special to see your little socklet.

I've managed to pick up a groin strain, not ideal when fertile week is just around the corner

angel I am not taking boobage ache or usual hunger pangs to be preggers related... To be honest I am taking so many drugs still that anything I do feel is likely to be side effects.
I just read some posts on another site after searching for side effects that had me in stitches - ladies who had mistakenly eaten medication designed for their fanjo! Hilarious!
How the hell did you strain your groin?
God only one day gone of 2WW... This is going to be torture!