Ttc#1 Thread 7. 'I've sneezed twice, dtd, drank 2 glasses of juice, ate some cheese and I want a cuddle, Ovia am in pregnant yet?' TMI alert throughout.

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

Thread 7! Welcome one and all! Group of weirdos, wee hoarders, covert opk or okp, depending on what your autocorrect decides addicts with a side business in cm management!

We do not judge, we enjoy TMI, we i encourage waiting to poas nobody listens and all the grossness you can find from a group of intelligent, articulate ladies fart stories make us laugh

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kat, a resident piss stick queen runner, loaaaaaads of bfp'ers who keep us positive! We don't have rules, we love a good symptom spot, we try to stay grounded and not be hysterical sometimes we manage it aswell

Oh god, now it comes on types?! Please... No more!

I took my temp for the first time! Utterly pointless on cd28, but starting as I mean to go on. More cramps. No spotting this am. Hate my uterus right now.

Evergreen - if your left leg feeling funny turns it to be a symptom (which I now really want to be true) then it's proof that the TTC world is a truly fucked up place.

I think miley, from my sherlock like deduction skills, that type 1 is school glue, type two is watery and type three is ewcm. Don't quote me on that though! And just for the record, does ANYONE actually have something resembling school glue coming out of their foof??!!! I mean who named this?!!!

Miley I know! I am refusing to test before the 29th!

Ovia the bitch just told me I'm about to get my period because I put in that I had no cm. Is ovia right? 😢

Morning everyone and welcome newbies! I've just been keeping myself to myself and wallowing in AF (not literally).

Sorry for those AF has caught up with but the Fab Bus is looking pretty decent. I hear it has air con and its own toilet so we can check our CM and cervix activity to our hearts' content.

Keep strong, all those on the 2ww!

evergreen I laughed aloud at the shagging like frogs comment. 🐸 Like you said snow, I pretty much have to walk around naked to get his interest often enough in the fw. (That takes some commitment in January ❄️)

Miley I agree with confused.
I only have three types: nada, egg white and the other. I used pritt-stick at school, so nope, no glue stick coming from foo parts
Lisa I will keep you posted
Confused ignore ovia on this. I am pretty sure we all have different CM and you can't be sure just with that. I have none now but I dont think that signals anything. Ovia is OBSESSED with CM.
Lara true story. I have some nice slips that I reserve for fertile week but they are losing power. What next??? I have no idea! Next fertile week will be yet another challenge

Evergreen, off to Anne summers with you 😂😂

confused she told me the same this morning. Now I'm in the toilets at work with 1 leg up on the toilet seat frantically scrapping round up there to find at least somethingm

Ovia is nuts .... Ovia is an enemy in disguise. Ovia needs unplugging.
😁 Ha miley you did just make me giggle.

Hi ladies, sorry I'm quiet - deadline week with work next week, coupled with nausea, boobs I can't even brush past and hyper children because MIL has come to stay... I'm stressed lol!

Anything I've missed?!

I just cried over a kitten being rehomed on animal planet. I'm emotional at times but I NEVER cry (well up until the last 2 weeks where I'm a balling mess)... I don't like it. Not cool 😂😂

Ignore Ovia. I'm not telling her anything anymore. She can't be trusted and she talks bullshit. I honestly don't think it's worth putting symptoms and CM in because it's too easy to get it wrong and it's too easy for her to be having a bad day and shift your fertile week after you've just spent 5 days in a thong trying to get OH to do it froggy style 😄

choc I cried last night because OH'S friend got his dream job 😂😂

Aha! I found something sticky! probs just blood from prodding round too much and also, I think I found my cervix. I was right, it does make me feel nauseous. Remind me to never touch it again.

Been having very very odds dreams theses last few nights. I dreamt last night that I was pregnant and gave birth to puppies because the midwife said I wasn't good enough to be a mum so I wouldn't be able to be have real babies. If I could then rear a puppy to national standards then I would be allowed to try for a baby.

Aww bless you miley My tears are of great amusement to me best friend who replied 'ooo were they orange with rust? Did your tears ducts squeak?' Cow 😂😂

No more cervix checking for you then!

lara LOL! Not even fw will get me in a thong. So not my type, I feel like a whore in them. I'm more of a frenchie girl but do often waltz round the house completely starkers like lala lala oh, I didn't see you there 😉😉 jump my bones please.

Wow... I'm not sure if that's a good dream or bad dream mi but I'd be pretty freaked out either way I think lol!

I dreamt I had a scan 2 nights ago. I was 9 weeks but they told me I was having a girl - I started pointing at them whilst doing some little victory dancing telling them I told them so... OH was doing the dance too... random 😂😂

miw how bizarre. Tho your dream midwife was wrong - puppies are harder work. At least you can put a baby down and know it's gonna be in the same place when you get back and has not done 3 shits, 7 wees and chewed the carpet in the time it's taken you to turn the oven on. Yes, I am speaking from experience.

Lols at giving birth to puppies.

Miley - do you now have grown up dogs then?

lisa I do. He was 2 a couple of weeks ago. If I can raise a dog, I can raise a child right??

Confused I have the lot. Rings, all sorts of rubs, scaffolding (as DP calls it) but yes I think I have to invest on some more.
Lara froggy style you guys are so funny
Miley once I touched my cervix and stayed in a corner of the room rocking myself to my special place for a week. I ain't touching that thing. That dog is cute
Miwel I can't stop laughing ahaaaaaaa. The paranoid dreams

Bloody hell miw, that's quite a dream...

I'm off to lunch with some friends today including one who is 7 months pregnant. I love her a lot but she keeps talking about how she got pregnant the first month they tried without any of what she called 'that crazy and disgusting stuff' like CM and OPKs etc. I think a large glass of wine might be in order, TWW be damned.

Oh dear God. I just had a poke around. I never wanna touch that thing again either.

Found some sticky cm. No idea what type. It's gunk ffs! I don't care!

Alas Stark Evergreen, OH didn't score a goal last night! Too much pressure given we'd done it Friday night too we used to do it numerous times a day...i hate when the honeymoon period is over Ah well, we dtd Fri, hopefully today...should be covered. Fingers crossed!! I blame match of the day

Off for brunch with friend who has 6 month baby in tow, and friend who is 4months preggers. Green eyed monster alert!

I love how we're all willing to push an actual tiny human out of our foofs but no one is prepared to touch their cervix 😂

confused I'm sticky here, too. I have been having af pains but they're a whole week early (if I was to listen to ovia). She still has me down for a 28 day cycle even though my last one was 25 days, so am wondering if she doesn't automatically adjust and that's why preggo test is 28th and not 2nd (even tho that's when af is predicted) if that makes sense.

Enjoy lunches ladies! One day it'll be you with a baba in tow