We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Chat I guess it's a good thing in a way? At least you know where you are?

Yay auf congrats!!!!! :) look forward to your nuttiness on the grass when you're ready.

chat :( sorry she's here.

Auf congratulations!!!

goes back to lurking

Oh auf that's bloody fantastic!

chat what a bunch of crap. Hugs and for you

Auf! Please can you tell your stats/story because I don't think I know it

And also CONGRATU-BLOODY-LATIONS obviously

Probably, Carrot. I know my doc would be happier with more concrete dates.

Congrats auf!

chat hugs for you.

chat I'm sorry today is rubbish for you. I agree with carrot that is must useful to know where you are at. Still, it's rubbish.
Thanks so much, viroids and gradroids! You all rock!
5hell feeling just like yesterday. Except for loving medicines. :)
thursday late thirties, ttc #2, cycle 8 since AF returned properly but had been trying for about 6 months before that too. I've had a 6/7 day LP the entire time which made viable implantation completely impossible, as well as irregular or potentially no ovulation. This cycle got referred to fertility clinic who went in guns blazing so kudos to them. Checked my tubes, did various bloods and confirmed my progesterone was non-existent. Then gave me Letrozole (similar function to Clomid), HCG shot, and progesterone pessaries. Seems to have done the trick! Am 10dpo today.
Am unbelievable scared that my LP is going to decide it ain't imbibing any more of this fanjo-progesterone and disintegrate forthwith taking the egg with it

Oh Chat, so sorry, didn't want to come across so insensitive

Woop woop, congratulations Auf, that's fantastic!! Maybe call the fertility clinic for advice/to put your mind at rest?

Seriously though, what did you all put in the water over here?!

congrats auf. fyi I was due to stay on the pessaries until 12wks pg so you probably need to call clinic to get a top up prescription.

chat and and I'll fetch some more ice cream for u later. try and take the positives, ur body is doing what it is supposed to, you know where you are, and you can start trying properly knowing those things. I hope it happens quickly for you.

so today I'm going to have to sort my shit out. I'm now 18lbs heavier than my goal weight, and 7lbs heavier than last Ivf. I've never struggled so much to lose weight before. must decrease the food, up the water and cut out the shit. today is day one.

Good grief! I think that'll be 8 of us of the grads Fred due next March

Huge, huge congrats Auf

Thanks lil that's very good advice. I will go for bloods to confirm and then start hounding phone them. And good luck with Day One and all the successful ones to follow. Determination, water, long walks, and occasional treats. :)

By the way I don't think I've had the chance to mention that I'm also hypothyroid. I'm on meds for it and my levels have been fine all along so shouldn't theoretically have an impact on anything, but I seem to recall someone or sometwo on here also having thyroid issues so am just noting it.
second according to the cuntraband due date calculator we all so frivolously indulged in on the last Fred, I'd be due on April Fool's day. Hah hah hah?

Go on Lil, you can lose that 7lb in a month I reckon.

Auf, I think it may be Honey with the thyroid issues...?

Congratulations Auf! And yes, it's me!

You need a blood test asap to check your levels, and one every four weeks throughout sadly. You should also be referred to the "thyroid and diabetes" clinic and see a consultant once a month too.

Hopefully everything stays stable and they discharge you back to normal midwifery led care. I have resigned myself to spending a lot of money in hospital car parks.

honey Every four weeks? Every month? Both? Thank you very ve-e-ery much for the advice! I will mention it when I speak to the fertility clinic. Hospital car parks. Ble-e-e-ugh.

auf congratulations! Well done, how exciting, you must be over the moon. Gx for you try not to over worry.

chat sorry, s'okay though. You , me and lil can all graduate together! and the rest of you hopefully, although we've been here the longest

that sounds like a good plan tink. well hospital have called and I've taken first bcp. waiting for my favourite nurse to call me some time this week to confirm dates and no doubt take my money

Thanks Auf . I bet the fertility clinic will be delighted to hear from you!

Sounds ideal Tink :)

Day one for you too then Lil, all the luck in the world.

Not insensitive Carrot, or I didn't take it that way. Just those pesky (nice autocorrect to perky there ) hormones making more more morose/cynical than usual.

NB - I get lucky this cycle, be due end of April...would be induced mid-March with the rest of the Fred 50 crew

Congratulations Auf - that's great to hear :)

Stupendously crampy this morning in an "oh dear god please let me have a seat on the tube because standing up really hurts" sort of way, but no sign of actual AF...

Congratulations auf!!!
Wow, 2 bfps by page 8!!

Auf hopefully the consultant will do the blood test! I'll let you know. I'm booking in on Friday so I guess I'll see then!