We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Glad to hear things are better with DP now sky

congrats sky!

sorry for the confusion with my stats ladies, I was not a child bride! I meant I have been with DH for 10yrs, married for 5yrs! Can I blame it on baby brain yet?

I'm not sure if I want to jinx things and head over to the grads just yet, only 4w+3. Can I just wear baggy clothes for the next 8 months and stay here with the jshaggers?

Congratulations sky
I'm shattered. Had annual family bbq and I've not really sat down all day. Can't laze about tomorrow as more family due.......got to clean kitchen and make cakes before they get here. Hoping for shower and hair wash before they get here too but will see....
Nfmv: got jizz this morning. Just as well, too tired now and can't see us having time on our own tomorrow....

Thank you all and a big thank you to Lil for the lucky Fred

Join us when you feel ready MrsT. I must warn you the conversations are no less bizarre over there

Welcome Disco

Congrats sky hope things with DSD get better, good that you have been able to talk to DP about the reasons behind it.

This is a lucky couple of threads.

Welcome newbies

sky awesome news! Congratulations! It's never the perfect time but I'm sure you'll give that baby a wonderful future

Bbq here too, not stopped all day, all in bed now! I'm aching all over!

lil nfyv? here's hoping

Viroids i am Hooyah-ing myself as i have turned into a crazy wee sniffing weirdo! Funny smelling wee was one of my symptoms when i got my bfp in april, and i cant stop myself!!!!

Today consists of body pump, food shopping and processing the 14kg of cherries we picked yesterday :)

have awoken with a sore throat symptom? ;)

I was joking about the sore throat symptom by the way. ..not that crazy yet!

Hallo disco and welcome to the dark side.
5hell what does funny smelling wee smell like?
I feel elated viroids. I'm 9dpo with no sign of bleeding and my cuntraband temps are still up! It's a miracle. I almost don't care whether or not I'm upduffed or not because this looks for the first time as if my lp will be long enough to actually make upduffedness truly possible and all the shagging actually relevant! Praise be to medicines!

Almost

That's almost great, Auf - do you keep up with them until you're upduffed or is this a one-cycle wonder drug to show your body what's meant to happen?

I'm also intrigued about the funny smelling wee. Don't think I'll sniff my ROC though, I'll probably just ask DH to prod my boobs occasionally - apparently they are my first sign.

Thank you for the warm welcome

I've also not heard of funny smelling wee ... Am very intrigued!

sore/bigger boobs are my first sign too, chat. Think I will constantly have my hands on them in the twot. Mind you, dh will be the first to notice if they look slightly enlarged I'm sure

Nfmv ... Decent helping of jizz received last night ... Let's see if he can keep up pace today, without any 'I feel so used comments'. Gah! Man up!

5hell funny wee was my first symptom too, and I had it in wtf cycle so sure I had a cp.

tink nfmv: she's parked. me and my vagina are thoroughly fucked off. time to transfer £4k out of my savings and research cheapest place to buy the drugs. why do I make lucky threads for everyone else but never for myself!

congrats sky, I definitely think everything happens for a reason so I'm sure despite the issues with DSD this baby is here at the right time for you.

lil

Although grats on the 4k savings -I have sweet FA.

Morning all.

lil sorry darling

Going to throw out a gentle hooyah to 5hell strap away from the piss!

Welcome disco love the name

Congrats sky

And to lil your lucky thread will come x

I'm nursing a little hangover and I need to go to work - not good

Lil I have all the hope in the world you will get there. Several of my friends who are my age old have had luck with both IVF and conceiving naturally AFTER ifv didn't work out for them. Your strength is an inspiration to all. Big, huge, totally unmumsnetty hugs.

Oh Lil I'll get over my Fred-making fear and make your lucky one again

chat you are going through far worse than me, you are entitled to your fears!

I'm failing to resist the urge to go into a carb coma. have just left hospital a voice message so hopefully they will call back tomorrow. I imagine I'll start pill around Wednesday based on last time. think day 5 is latest. at least the time I spent researching drug costs last night wasn't a waste of time!

Gx for this one lil.

I've just realised I'm being a model js'er by accident as I've not poaopk or temped at all so far this cycle. Mainly as I've been crazy busy but I think I might try going au naturel this month. Can't hurt right?! Obv when af comes I'll be the crazy one cursing my lack of ov certainty.
I've decided to give it one more cycle then get a doctors app. I'll then have been off pill for a year so I won't be lying I'm ridiculously bad at that and dp thinks I'm being ridiculous anyway as we have only been trying since Christmas April once he got over his lack of jizzing.
I'm going for serene calm girlfriend this month rather than jizz obsessed harridan. Wish me luck!

just I swear it was thinking that I was missing my fertile window that did it. I had a really fun month of drinks with girlfriends, travel, sleep, and sex for sex's sake... Then blammo. I only POAS yesterday because AF was due and wanted to be sure in case I wanted to go out in the evening with friends again!

Don't encourage me!!! (Thanks just)
U know wee can/did smell different, but i shouldn't be bending over the loo sniffing. ..that is crazy!

Just your attitude sounds v chilled and positive. ..i like it!

lil i dont like that af appeared, but you have a plan and i know we all send u the most positive vibes for your next cycle
gx

I figure I'm on my holidays now for 6 weeks and I really don't want to spend it all analysing sticks and waking early to temp. I'm going to shag like a bitch but not worry if it's the right time. I'm annoying myself with getting so stressed with worrying when I'm fertile and I am just going to shag when I feel like it. Hopefully loads now I'm not at work!

Talking of which-jizz bomb received , I'm going blackberry picking and then I'm going to make jam. Such a domestic goddess slut

Just, excellent

I'm taking the same approach, JSing and enjoying it. Post delivery is the biggest wtf cycle there is, I don't want to have the added stress of contraband. I do want a crystal ball though.

Thanks chat
I'm not sure as we didn't talk about it, but I think it is a once-off gung-ho thing. I think if my cycles go haywire again next month, they might pop me back on the drugs. I'm going to ask them sternly to continue the progesterone however. It's ridiculous how pleased I am with this so far 9 day luteal phase. I literally have my gingers in knots willing it to carry on!
lil I'm so sorry. It has been really rough we know and I'm sure the AF disappointment is enormous. Wine? Chocolate? Both? It's great you have some savings to have another go! The good news is that you know that your eggs can be fertilised and are good enough to be viable. Now it's just telling your endometrium that they should hold onto them properly this time!
just in awe of your domestic sluttery.