We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Just are you testing tomorrow? Agree with Feathered, you have a will of iron!

Why thank you, bows modestly and accepts iron will award. I don't have any sticks in house after last months fiasco of thinking I had lines so no I'm not. Af will come weds, she always does. I'm going to try and hold off testing until af actually late but I can't promise the iron will lasts. Not having any ics has made me obsess less though. I can only feel the crazies inching in now and normally I'm full blown batshit by 5dpo!

I don't know anything about pcos and opks. Sorry. I would shag anyway

Someone talk me down off a non ttc related crazy. I am so close to going and buying fags, I haven't smoked for 4 months but have proper wanted one since yesterday eve!

just - I hadn't smoked for years and years until last month when I cracked and had a couple of menthols and hushed tones a few camel light. It was part of my ttc/mc reckless rebellion and I needed to do that at the time.

HOWEVER. I'm not sure you have my excuse. Fags are for an all out disaster OR perhaps cd1 if AF arrives. So step away. Think about what they're doing to your ovaries.

Buy a magazine instead. Make a tea. Clean the house. Don't buy the cigarettes. It's Monday: start the week as you mean to go on

feather thank you, you're right. I'll eat instead

just I still have an emergency packet of Marlboro lights in the kitchen draw! You can come and share one with me on Wednesday when af comes

black there are 3 of us due this week then...

Mr. McShane back on the telly? Goodness, not sure if my burning loins will take it!

That opk is positive imo. Shag, shag, shag!

Fight the ciggy urge! It's not worth it!! easy for me to say as I've never been a smoker though

I'll jump DH when he's home from work and we're back from the gym. Thanks viroids!

just if you touch a ciggy I'll come over there and bat you into next week. think how hard you worked to quit, you don't want to have to go through that all over again.

fluffy I think positive. but opks can be inaccurate for pcos sufferers I think because of varying/high lh levels. that said if it was negative last week I'd take it as a good sign your ovaries have awoken. do another opk same time tomorrow and report back but in the meantime definitely do the bad thing!

Shag shag shag fluffy it can't hurt. Hope your cycle sorts itself out soon.

just step away from the ciggies...choose cake instead

NFMV: AF due yesterday, could fly in at any moment negative ic yesterday but I'm ignoring that one as it's clearly wrong

Not sure if it's too early in my posting for a nfmv post but hey ho. After the pill causing all kinds of crazy mania I think my cycle may have settled to about 34 days. AF should have been Friday but I only had some brown spotting Fri and Sat but nothing since. Last week I had a tiny bit of red blood but that's it. I did a test on 11dpo because I'm weak and can't contain myself and it was BFN. Now on cd37? Do you think it's just my cycle being crazy?

Thanks tink I'll bring the wine!

Have you poas since dog? And welcome, I think I missed your arrival!

Clearly a broken one pickle!

Thank you! I haven't, I was trying to avoid the BFN disappointment and thought if I was it would have picked it up on 11dpo?

Hi dog waves

Haha yup just totally broken because I feel dead weird and my boobs hurt so obviously I'm upduffed loving denial

So is that four of us due this week? Somebody MUST be preggo

Hi Pickle!

I think the odds must be good! I too have had all the symptoms but I'm not sure if I'm batcrap crazy and they are in my head

Mine are always in my head sadly!

if it's not all of us please please please can it be my turn?? have no shame in begging

Off to the doctors shortly with DH to do our infertility referral, if that doesn't invoke the law of sod, I'm not sure what will last night I also starting looking at couples only hotels for next summers holiday

dog post pill who knows so hooyah for you. I had 2 31 day text book cycles after stopping pill, then AF was 2weeks late after a mountain of bfns and eventually when she did turn up she didn't leave for 7 weeks. so stop poasing and keep shagging just in case.

pickle hooyah to you for testing early too!

I also need a hooyah as earlier I swear I smelt raw mince whilst coming down the stairs, raw sewage whilst sitting on the back door step and someone smoking weed whilst in the car with DH he wasn't smoking weed I daren't ask him if he could smell it too as I wanted to revel in the optimistic crazies for a while

Had a cheeky post gym, post shower afternoon shag and then we napped. Long time since that has happened . Hopefully this really is an ovulation and I'll either be having a BFP or AF in 2 weeks! At this point I would be happy with a BFN if it means I will be back into a 37 day cycle oh how i never thought i would say that!!

Hooyah to all who need one! Including myself!

Sort of wish there wasn't such a thing as IC, makes it too easy to waste them!

NFMV: ewcm gallons of the stuff.

M(more)NFMV: not ewcm but stretchy and creamy coloured. What is my fanjo doing?

Thanks lil, my first hooyah blushes with pride I've been off the pill since last October but I thought it was all settling down. Obviously not!! Best just keep shagging!

Thanks for the hooyas, definitley required. I get the same just is usually an indication my witch is coming. I'm ignoring mine.

Nice shagging efforts fluffy not had a mid week shag like that for a long time and they were always my favourite!