40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

green 20 weeks already! You are half way there! So happy for you, this is lovely. Hang in there x

Grizzer You're not out until AF arrives, so there is still hope! I remember that I was convinced AF was on the way just before I found out I was pg with DS, like gum said, it could be implantation...

gum It's so hard, isn't it. Ttc becomes a way of life, and it'll be quite a shift, if you do decide to call it a day. But think of all the money you can save on tests, supplements etc Use it to treat yourself!

Green....wonderful and very clear photo!!! Ohhhh very happy for you and time to enjoy your pg!!!

Oooo! I've just returned from the scan of my ovaries (day 14) and I have two eggs ready to pop! One on each side! Doesn't guarantee that either of them are viable though

Green, so many congratulations on your lovely pregnancy.

Great stuff, Squid.

I've got another thread going about how frequently one should DTD. Every day during the fertile window? Every other day? Any ideas gratefully received. DP has a low-ish percentage of sperm antibodies, not sure whether that changes anything.

AWomb this is something I ponder every cycle. I shall tell you what I have been told.

NHS nurse: once every three days across the month, do not use opks

Acupuncture therapist 1: DTD every other day across fertile window

Acupuncture therapist 2: DTD every day across fertile window unless male has low sperm count

We have been TTC for a long time now so we have tried every which way. The month I fell pregnant with my son we had sex once in the evening and once the following morning, I have no idea how close to ovulation though because we weren't trying. The next two non viable pregnancies we had sex every day.

i have fallen pg endless times (more than ten and lost them all) dtd every 2-3 days over the fertile window. Never daily. my successful pregnancies have similarily had a low chance to happen (maybe dtd twice a week, no more, I have no sex drive whatsoever). But i guess here again everyone is different....

Argh, got a positive OPK today, but nothing doing tonight. I have to get up mega early for work and it would be very obviously a sperm shag, which is a massive turn off for DP. Did it last night, so hopefully they're still swimming. It's so hard, shagging to the calendar, isn't it?

A sperm shag lol. Never heard that phrase

I would say fuck it and jump on your OH anyway and get it done as then he doesn't have to come near you for three weeks if he doesn't want to afterwards.

It's times like those when I wish there was something in particular that really turned to switch on for OH. You know like heels or a leather basque. He has a low sex drive so if he was left to his own devices would only pester me for sex about once a month.

awomb, that is actually very good timing. I am not sure if I read it here, but somewhere I read that often by the time we get a positive opk it may be too late, because for some people the positive opk comes very close to the egg being released and the sperm should all be there waiting already. There are many theories though. I keep hearing that if you do it every two to three days once AF has gone, then you are likely to hit the egg. I think our problems lie not in timing, but rather in the quality of the eggs, hormonal,imbalances and other issues related to aging.

cloudjumper , I think I am coming to terms with the idea of stopping ttc. I am certainly tired of the effort it requires but seeing greens little one's scan has made me rather . I would love to get to that stage again. With my recent history of miscarriages it is sad to finish this journey without the joy I had hoped for, certainly a happy ending would make the journey away from all things ttc and pregnancy easier.

Gum I thought exactly the same thing this morning. It's not so much a timing thing, it's a quality of eggs and sperm thing. The egg could get fertilised every month but there is a process within implantation where the uterus won't let the egg implant if it thinks it is defective. So we think we aren't catching the egg, but we possibly are.

OH saw the doc re. his sperm sample and now just has to DTD and drop it off. I'm going to try and make him do it this week but I suspect it will be next as right now the doctor isn't even sure which hospital the labs are situated in

The nurse who scanned me yesterday told me not to have sex last night but tonight (Wednesday), Friday and Sunday. Now, I know I will ovulate on Thursday or Friday so there is no point in sex on Sunday. My DH also has performance issues around ov and so I don't want to hassle him on consecutive nights. What would you do? Sex tonight and Friday?

I would do exactly as the nurse said

Gosh, this is interesting.

Newera do you have sex after you have ov'd?

SS they are saying to DTD on Sunday too just incase you ovulate late, it's a precautionary thing. In the sperm meets egg plan they recommend similar, having sex up until OV, then waiting a day then having sex again.

Personally it really depends on how we feel. Sometimes I do make is DTD again after OV but sometimes I can tell my DP is really not in the mood and just let the poor man sleep.

I skin read that study and it would sure explain why we caught straight away on the eve of my 37th birthday!

*skim

I went a bit mad this month and used three different types of opk. I am on day 13. Fertility monitor gave me a high on 11 and 12 which I have never in my life got, internet cheapie negative every day. Dual clearblue started flashing on day 12 and today but no solid. Don't know which one to believe...but think the fertility monitor is a shameless liar !!

Peas the fertility monitor is looking out for an increase in oestrogen, that's what gives you the high. You will get a peak if it then detects LH, if it misses the surge it gets stuck on high until AF arrives.

*Pessi. Bloody autocorrect!!

I hate those bloody fertility monitors! My cheapie internet opks have never let me down

Sorry I meant to say fertility monitor gave peak on those days. The internet cheapie stark white and clearblue dual flashing so they are all disagreeing ! Who would have though that tiny plastic sticks could have such an effect on my life !!

Did it leap from low to peak Pessi? I actually have up on my cbfm for that reason. I think it works just fine for younger women but as we get older our hormone shifts aren't as clear and I found the cbfm was getting quite confused.

Now I use Ovusense to confirm OV has taken place along cheapy opks from Poundland. Im not pregnant but I do know I ovulate and when lol

I've only been actively trying for a month...I got a smiley face on the clear blue...which indicated a lh surge...gonna keep trying...even though I was 10 days late this month...but on further investigation I'm thinking the pregnacare conception tablets might've been the reason for that...been to the docs and had the blood test for hormonal levels today...so fingers crossed I'm not pre- menopausal

I've also read that dtd after you have ovulated helps the fertilized egg implant better...something to do with the sperm!

Trumadison, it can take women in their forties a long, long long time to get pregnant. Please don't despair after only one month of trying.