Get your cape on, get your cape on! Don't come knockin if the tent's a rockin, but pee on a snake instead - It's just shagging part 27

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!

that's amazing honey :) i'm not terribly creative with things like that!!

I did however look at my companies maternity leave today, I was quite disheartened by it! It's 12 weeks at 90% pay, then 27 weeks at Statutory Pay (£138 per week) then 13 weeks no pay! :o I can't believe they expect you to last 13 weeks with no pay!

Yo viroids!

So quite by accident and early I find myself twotting - only I've had 5 days of twot already without realising. Definitely iced early this month according to cm (what a good jser I am - ignoring temps and ov tests!) so I'm dying to find out now whether the b6 has indeed done the trick and lengthened my lp. Due af/bfp 6th sept.

Now - dilemma. I'm away for a birthday girls weekend from Friday. Lots of plans for wine, prosecco and cocktails. What would you do? Would you have a drink? I've been trying so hard to be good and I'm a bit worried about it all.

But then it might also evoke law of sod...

Mr La is most disappointed that icing has been and gone as he was enjoying the cape action. I think we'll keep going just in case.

gaggia it might be time to break out the we-vibe and remind him how fun it can be!

Ha ha thank you jelly!

I'm self employed, so at least company is better than mine! But you're right, the 13 weeks business does suck.

Money allowing, we plan on me being a SAHM so i guess it doesn't really matter either way.

jelly mines only 6 weeks pay then statutory! It's mad. Lots of tricks around it tho if you tack on holiday, paternity leave, tax credits, child benefit etc

La, I wouldn't. I'd just have the virgin versions. Still look fancy. And if you don't get a BFP in Sept, get sh*tfaced.

I agree with honey, stay away from the wine la :)

And I agree about sticking on holiday etc to buff it up! I'm hoping the DP gets a pay bump and promotion this year so I can potentially be a SAHM or at least go down to two days a week part time, I couldn't imagine commuting 5 days a week to and from work and having to raise a baby too!

Most canny teachers will plan so their due date is early Oct. That way they return end of July and get paid for the entire year and the summer, for working a few weeks. Got to play the system.

Personally I would join in this weekend La but not go mad. If there is a fertilized egg on its way it won't have implanted by then and even then it is a few weeks until it starts getting anything from you. Your choice though

Wow sounds like I'm very lucky with my company - 6 weeks at 90% and 33 weeks at 50%. I'll also have six weeks holiday. Not sure what the situation is with tax credits. The reduction in pay will bring me below the threshold but I'm not sure if that counts for tax credit purposes?

sounds generous pis, my friend who is upduffed works for the fire service and she gets 6 weeks at 90%, then 6 weeks at 100% (work that out), then the rest of the time at SMP! I'm in the wrong job!

Shall I rub it in by telling you all I get 6 months on full pay, 3 months SMP then 3 on no pay

How's it going viroids?

wow, could that's a good deal!
I used to be employed and I would have got 6 months full-pay, 3 months half-pay and 3 months SMP (had it worked out and I'd not had a mmc last year). However, now I'll get nowt because I'm self-employed, grrr! Oh well, I much prefer being self-employed (and absolutely hated being employed) so it's worth the trade off imo.

honey that's an amazing giraffe! I knit too, but nothing to that kind of level! I once tried to knit an elephant for my niece, but it turned out looking like a horrific cow/pig/rhino cross-breed (I must have gotten the measurements wrong or something) It was hideous! she still liked it though, bless her

la whatever you feel most comfortable with. I agree with pis that potential fertilised egg wouldn't yet be hooked up and so it's probably not a problem (plus the law of sod is a powerful thing!) However, saying that, I'm tea-total and so wouldn't drink at all

Everyone ready for GBBO tonight?!

Aww thank you minimoo, you're very kind. My trouble is i don't know how to do the basics. I can make stuffed animals, but "granny squares"? Not a chance. And they are for beginners. I'm going to my friends house on Friday so she can teach me the basics and i'll teach her the advanced!

Thanks also for the GBBO reminder!

Ooooo Bake off is on, I forgot! The giraffe is amazing! I'm still only at baby hats and teacosy level! honey I would have a drink, maybe 2, (early days theory) but stop it there if it was me. Maybe avoid the cocktails though!
Just recently bought a ton of caffeine free teas because I wished I was pregnant because holland and barratt had them on sale and I actually like them! Thought they'd all be mingin and wasn't looking forward to cutting down my many cups of tea but just realised I'm only ever wanting them now - especially the peppermint one. Dear God. Just been notified that my mum's friend from when I was little has tagged me in a picture on fb. I better not have a fringe in this one.

hello viroids blimey this thread has moved quickly!!

Been v busy decorating this month and DP and I are shattered, there has been a major lack of cape action this month and AF showed up earlier on today

I should have known last night because my boobs were beyond sore!! lost track of time when it came to AF ha ha.

DP has just popped out... ice challenge bless him.

Hi Duck! You must be busy if you don't remember that AF is due!

Lala, technically alcohol cannot cause birth defects in the first 2 weeks of pregnancy. However it can in theory make it less likely for implantation to occur. You can't stop living your life though, especially if it's taking a long time to conceive. It's crap how drinking opportunitues always seem to happen in the TWOT.

Hey team.

I lone that giraffe! Would you commission a killer whale? DS loves them and you can't get many toys around these days!

Kato a killer whale eh? Never done one of those before. I make no guarantee on time scales though!

honey that giraffe is awesome!!

I have a dilemma. I might need a slap. Ladies, your thoughts..

I'm on CD 38 (which is long, even for me). Usually I would be freely weeing all over technological sticks by now, but I am 99% sure I iced really late (like CD 28 or something) - but I'd run out of contraband refills ..so as I mentioned before, just went on what I assumed was Icing pain and damp knickers. (mmm, sexy). We have been totally shit with JSing this month with the house move and all, and if I iced when I think I did, then the boat has well and truly sailed. I've not really symptom spotted, although I am a bit bloated and my boobs are a bit sore (not really sore, but tender, usually before AF they are spectacular, but agony) , but this could just easily be AF incoming, right? I can't decide if I should Poas tomorrow, OR wait until what I think is my twot is finished (Sunday...ish.?)

I love the giraffe! My mum is an obsessive knitter and does an animal of choice for every one of the babies my friends have :)

I panic about maternity pay but at the moment we're just saving as much as possible and paying off credit cards, in the hope that it means I can take a full year's maternity when it comes. I've no idea how we'll afford to pay our bills, our rent on our house is ridiculous.

Duck - did he do the ice challenge? I just did one using recycled rainwater (i'm not a fan of wasting water) and I ended up covered in little slugs. Yuck!

tee if you iced on cd28 then cd38 would make your lp 10 days - so it's probably too early to test. But there's no harm in peeing on a stick. I like peeing on sticks, it's an addiction!!!

I can't believe they chucked the ice cream guy out on GBBO! Ok so he should've presented his sponge but how about chucking out the wifey who took his ice cream out?! Worse than custardgate!

tee you could join in the group POAS fun on Monday if you can wait that long!

leela so hard to not Poas! I had totally written off this month, WHY did I check my stupid contraband app.... :( I am a knob!

Thanks ladies! The recipient enjoyed dragging it round behind him.

I would wait a bit, whatever the result will be, it will be the same in a few days. You could join the Monday POAS Event! But then, I shouldn't think I'm patient enough to follow my own advice!

Where's lil? Not seen her on here for a bit.

Morning Viroids! Sorry for TMI first thing but....I have EWCM!!! This makes me so happy because it's a sign I might be icing! :)

Get the cape on jelly!

I need a hooya please for symptom spotting. Stabby boob syndrome