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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Anyone else struggling with more royal baby news?

42 replies

yorkiebilb · 08/07/2013 13:00

Sorry for the moaning message just wondering if anyone else is struggling to conceive and feels depressed by yet another royal pg announcement?!

I had a mmc in Dec and been struggling ever since. I knew this week was going to be tough as my due date was the same as Kate Middleton's but this new pg announcement has really hit me hard.

Please please feel free to have a moan and make feel like I'm not a sad/over-emotional idiot!!!

OP posts:

JC74 · 08/07/2013 13:04

I could have written your post. I had a miscarriage in December and was just about getting my head round the Kate's baby being due at the same time. Must admit I found today's news a bit tough. Although I'm pleased for them I'm very envious of their good fortune

Original poster

yorkiebilb · 08/07/2013 13:26

Thanks for responding JC74 and sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it. I'm happy for them just wish it would happen to me too! I'm an emotional wreck today and this has thrown me over the edge..

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katatonic · 08/07/2013 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moggle · 08/07/2013 16:05

I don't really mind celeb announcements. I have a tough enough time with friends and acquaintances announcing they're expecting, if celeb announcements upset me too I'd be a mess all the time :-(

On Saturday morning, is our thoughtless (though he doesn't know any better) friend, at our house for a BBQ, insisting that we skype our friends who live abroad, virtually hopping on one leg with excitement that we must hear their news direct from them. Stupidly didn't guess what this news would be (always assumed they'd come back to the UK before having kids) and then had to put on a happy face on Skype for them. Luckily their wifi packed up a couple of minutes in and I could escape to the loo for some deep breaths. Then came out and heard the announcement that our other friends are expecting baby number 2 (much less of a shock). Then I had to be all happy for the BBQ guests. Fucking fuck. As "luck" would have it though, got chatting to one of DH's friend's wife, who is also going through subfertility bollocks, so we had a really good whinge about everything. Had barely met her before, but it was quite therapeutic for both of us I think!

Anyway, Saturday was a good reminder for me and DH to assume that everyone is about to announce a pregnancy, until proven otherwise.

Original poster

yorkiebilb · 08/07/2013 16:08

Sorry about your recent mc kata it's so horrible isn't it? I hope you've got lots of support in rl. The mc boards on here are really good if you're not using them already? I used them for a bit and it really helped but came off them after a while as people seemed to be getting pg quickly and I will still there! Hope that happens for you too ( the pg i mean not the hanging around on the board like me!)

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RubySlippers77 · 08/07/2013 18:47

Hi yorkie, me too - all I can think is, it seems so bloody easy for other people!! And I know (logically) that that's not true for everyone, but still, there was no logic coming into my feelings earlier. We have a pregnant lady at work who's due in a couple of months and it seems like I see her and her bump every way I turn; doesn't help that I don't particularly like her and all her emails start "whilst I'm on maternity leave....."

Off to my running club now to hopefully not be so grumpy later. Either that, or I won't be able to think about it through the pain, as I am a terrible runner!

TeaAndANatter · 08/07/2013 19:02

I usually love anything royal, but a mmc four weeks ago is really making my royal lovefest feel a bit more bitter than it did. Sodding mc. There really seems to be no silver lining at all, and all I see are pregnant women and stories about mc at the moment. Puh.

On the plus side, it might have Charles' ears, and not to be cruel, but it'd cheer me right up ;-)

Original poster

yorkiebilb · 08/07/2013 19:06

ahh moggle sounds like a tough Saturday. Well done for getting through it in one piece as it must of been really hard. Good to hear you managed to talk to someone who is going through it too though although I am intrigued as to how you managed to get onto the subject as it's such a difficult thing to talk about with people in rl.

I get upset by both friends and celeb announcements hence why I am such a mess! I had to come off Facebook as all the pg announcements and constant pictures of bumps was getting too much for me. I have to say I feel a whole lot better for it.

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lj123 · 08/07/2013 19:08

I am also a green eyed monster! My due date would have been 13/7/13- this Saturday, it's becoming a tough week and plenty of people around to rub salt in the wound!
I always wonder if the ectopic was my fault, what could I have done/do better.
Some people are just really freeking lucky and don't seem to need to 'try'

DizzyPurple · 08/07/2013 19:13

I'll join you! Ttc for 28 months (not good written down) and yes I felt horrid at that news too! I do already have dc so not as bad as for some but was really hoping we'd have managed one last one. Really thinking its not going to happen...
One of my friends on Facebook has a counter so every Sunday it pops up "I'm 28 weeks today. My little boy is growing fast and...." Every Sunday it traumatises me! Only a little but even so.

Original poster

yorkiebilb · 08/07/2013 19:14

ruby I know exactly what you mean about logic and feelings! Hope the run makes you feel a bit better.

tea so sorry to read about your mmc. I'm sure it must all feel very raw at the moment and I'm sure baby news does not help. Yep, bumps are bloody everywhere! Your comment about Prince Charles ears made me laugh so thank you!

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Original poster

yorkiebilb · 08/07/2013 19:18

lj123 mine was 13th July too so you've got someone hear that understands how crap this week is and the whole bloody royal baby build up!

dizzy you can hide your friends posts on fb so you don't have to be subjected to it each week?

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beachesandbuckets · 08/07/2013 19:29

I am not sure if this post will help anyone or not. I had a mmc last year, completed devastated me, lost all confidence in my body. All of the milestones - due date, year anniversary etc. have been utterly devastating. A number of 'friends' had babies at the time when I was due, including a couple of smug annoying ones who have had everything on a plate, and just didn't want to hear about it, felt like why do they have luck when I don't. I am however now a couple of weeks off having twins. So there can be a happy ending (hopefully, not counting my chickens after last year). If you saw me in the street you would probably think 'smug lucky sow' but you wouldn't see my utter heartbreak behind the bump. Good luck everyone x

RaspberrySnowCone · 08/07/2013 22:11

Yep makes me feel woefully inadequate and very sad too. I know not everyone gets it plain sailing but the royal do manage to diff pretty easy and it's just a shit reminder of how crap my crappy body is.

lj123 · 08/07/2013 22:47

Yorkiebilb, in a way that's nice to hear, not just me suffering this week, I've gotten back into the pattern I was after my operation, can't sleep, feel low and every bump I see I want it to be me, I usually blow bubbles to my babies, but the one I most recently lost was the furthest along I have been, I want to do something else but don't know what! X

RosesInTheRain · 08/07/2013 23:38

yep, her pregnancy first hit the news on the day I had to terminate DS2 for fatal abnormalities, heard it on the radio on the way home

Beaches you make a good point about not seeing what it's taken to get there- I try to remember that someone else's bump may also be their rainbow baby. Some people are very lucky though

gillywillywoo · 09/07/2013 09:09

Seems everyone I know is expecting at the moment. Can't go any more than a few days without finding out someone else is pregnant!
Our time will come I'm sure

kittykat01 · 09/07/2013 09:40

we are ttc baby1 and now on cycle 7 and we had a mmc at cycle 3.
What Ive come to realise is that you can not wait to be happy. you cannot put all your happiness on being pregnant and becoming a mother. Every month we spend counting down the tww and the days when we are fertile. We sit my the side of a toilet taking tests hoping that this is a month and then when it isnt we struggle to be happy for those that do conceive and go on to have healthy babies. All that time and energy put into something that may or may not happen.

What im saying is we are missing out on whats happening right here and right now. I dont want to be moody with my husband and I dont want to put our happiness on hold when the reason we are together is because we love each other and that love is strong regardless if there is a child or not.

What im trying to say is that we all need to learn to be happy and appreciate everything we have now and when we manage that then how we deal with the negative test and mmc will become easier and our happiness is not on hold.

As for the Royals who is to say Catherine didnt spend months ttc and who is to know if she had mmc prior to this baby. the palace would not announce that news and who is to say the same for Zara...

Amrapaali · 09/07/2013 09:50

kittykat that is so true. Many things may have gone on behind the screens, we just don't know.

After my MMC, when I eventually felt a bit brave and not too raw to talk about it (took me the best part of a year), people I confided in, admitted they have had miscarriages as well. 4 out of 5 of them.

Its just not talked about, is it?

moggle · 09/07/2013 09:51

kittykat01 what you say is true, I often think that in an offhand way, sure, it'll be fine if we can't have kids, but actually when I stop to think about it properly it gets me panicky and feeling incredibly down. It's all I've ever wanted since I was about 10. It'd take some serious counselling to get me used to the idea of a future without our own babies.

Having said that I find it easier dealing with AF coming every month than I did this time last year. You do find a way to cope.

kittykat01 · 09/07/2013 10:31

one of the hardest things I found about mmc is when you find out you are pregnant the social norm is not to announce it until you are 12weeks. However, if you lose that little life that you loved from day 1 then do you announce your grief?? If people arent supposed to know you were pregnant are they supposed to know you lost it? The problem being this doesnt make your grief any less infact I think it can nearly make women feel unentitled to grieve.

I am a nurse so I work with large amounts of women and what I have found is if a colleague announces she is pregnant before her 12weeks people talk about it saying "shes game for announcing that so soon, what if she loses it". So what im trying to say is our culture and attitudes dont make things easier either.

I also found that when i did tell people about my mmc they also disclosed theirs and it was again the same 4/5 women defo seemed to have experienced it.

kittykat01 · 09/07/2013 18:14

did i just totally kill the conversation? LMAO :P :D

Quodlibet · 09/07/2013 18:20

Kittykat I think you are spot on with that observation. There is no protocol for acknowledging miscarriage grief, which makes it a million times harder for you to accept what you feel and for others to understand it.

Like others I had a MMC in December but would have been due around now. I was very fortunate to fall pg again quite quickly but I know that had I not I would be probably be finding it really difficult around now.

Bunnygirlie · 09/07/2013 22:17

Hey yorkie I remember you!

I know how you feel about the royal babies, it's tough enough escaping bumps etc but when it's splashed across the papers you can't help but see it all the time.
I am dreading the birth announcement, the next few weeks are going to be hideous!

barkingtreefrog · 09/07/2013 22:36

I've not had a MC and can't imagine how I'd cope if I did, but I have been ttc #1 for a while, up to cycle 20 now. I really struggle with all the bumps in the newspapers/radio/tv etc, and radio presenters at the moment seem to be talking about their children all the time, but it's still the bumps closest to home that get me, the bumps of friends and family members .

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