Santa Baby, Leave a BFP under the Tree for me <brook the Rat Smacketeers>

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

Old Fred here

Here we go Brookers, it's been a long year with lots of BFPs and newborn snuggles for the Brookers. We're just a sleigh-ride away from 2013, when the rest of us will get our get our 12 week scans (because of course we will all have BFPs under the christmas tree this year!)

So come all ye brookers, it's tinsel and baubels all the way!

[keepJinglingThoseBells]

oh sparks poor you, i hope you are ok and am sure twinkle is ok, but must be a bit of a shock for you. Your proper scan is wednesday? that's awesome, i guess you don't need to be nervous now just excited as you've already seen twinks.

going out tonight with work people. they will all be drinking but i won't be and will feel like a miserable cow.

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

morning ladies!

sparks you poor thing! Glad you are ok though, and I hope your day picks up from here on. how exciting about your scan! It feels like just last week that you announced your BFP. Mind you, I also can't believe the tripe whammy ladies are rapidly approaching their due dates, too!

I'm on christmas countdown now - just five more working days (today not included) to go, then I'm on leave for two weeks and two days - yay! Got work's christmas party tonight (I will be drinking), drinks with my old boss next Friday (I will most likely be drinking then too) and my archery club christmas meal the following Monday (when I won't be drinking, because my non-faulty pee sticks will have confirmed by pregnancy the day before).

I'm a little bit excited today because FF has put my ov at CD18, which is the earliest I have ovd this year. That's going from the first day of my weird bleed though rather than my last proper AF. It feels so good to be back in the 2ww

Right, s'pose I should get on with some work...

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

Dink boss's offering for the morning:

Dink boss: Can I use your phone? Mine's broken.
Me: Sure - how's it broken? What does the screen look like?
Dink boss (sarky tone): Oh - are you an expert in phones now?
Me: Ermmm I do work in tech support you know!

And breathe...

[BeedlesPineNeedles]

ouch sparks hope you're ok now, you need some of those really sexy not metal studded things to attach to the bottom of your shoes. We have them for when its really icy out. Or you could just shuffle around on your bum until the ice melts

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

Isn't it quiet in here today?

[MissLToeishavingsantasbabyboo]

I have got teen boo and toddly boo sorted with their main Christmas gifts today, and they were both bargains handed in the menu for the play group Christmas night out, collected a lovely maternity lbd from the post office, picked up my prescription, had lunch with my DB and his mate, glued the Christmas ornament that toddly boo broke (there was chocolate behind it, should have known better) and done my card list. That's why I have not been here all day plus you all ignored my extremely intelligent and witty posts earlier

[JenFrankincenseAndMyrrh]

Everyone go and vote for Smegs in the namechange competition here

[BeedlesPineNeedles]

I've voted and smegs is in joint first place, get voting brookers

[GenericDietCola]

Smegs is winning now cos I've just voted!

[Biscuitsandtinsel]

Go Smegs

Go Smegs

[does that funny arm circle dance thing to go with it]

Oooooh, lets get the Pom Poms out....

[rushes off to dig out her cheerleader outfit]

[MissLToeishavingsantasbabyboo]

Biscuits have a look outside Beedle's bathroom for the pom poms

C'mon everyone vote for our Smegs

[MissLToeishavingsantasbabyboo]

Brookers Smegs needs you! She is in joint lead at the moment. Vote vote vote!!

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

Voted but I have no doubt it will go to the most prolific 'general' poster rather than best name change

[keepJinglingThoseBells]

Girls, remember how I found out my sis was about to TTC her second, about six weeks ago? Well last night she told me she's pregnant. I can't believe it, or how unfair things are and am, frankly, devastated. I spent last night in floods of tears, and am just so angry and sad. I don't know what to do, or how I'll get through it all. I phoned her to congratulate her, but made it all a short conversation. I don't feel happy, I feel angry sad jealous, and then hate myself for feeling like this.

Dh took it really badly too.

solars I know you had this a few weeks back with you sil. How is it now? I can't imagine it'll get any easier as the pg progresses, tbh.

The timing is just so bad, me starting fertility treatment and this a slap in the face to show me how easy it is for normal people.

[Biscuitsandtinsel]

keep you poor thing. It's so hard to get news like that - double whammy when it is somebody you know you should just be pleased for so then on top of feeling envious you have to feel guilty . It will be your turn though, and soon. You're a brooker, so it is set in stone! I used to try and think to myself 'well that's fine, there aren't a limited number of babies, it will be our turn soon' but tbh it didn't really work - I still felt sad that it wasn't our turn yet!

Does your sis know about your treatment? Or do any of your family?

Take good care of yourself and DH and rest assured that we've got you covered on the brooking front - we'll get every single brooker their well deserved bfp. Fact. xx

[keepJinglingThoseBells]

Yes, she knows, as do my parents. I'm sure she was nervous to tell me, and know she waited to tell me till dh came home. But that also, I know irrationally, makes me angry - did she lie to me, I know she'll have been discussing me and feeling sorry for me. I said to dh last night I wish I hadn't told her, but I don't know really.

I can't think 'it's my turn soon' as this so clearly shows it's not about turns at all

[MissLToeishavingsantasbabyboo]

Oh Keep that is such a hard thing to hear, especially as you are just starting your treatment. Be kind to yourself

You WILL get your bfp!

[WinterSolstice]

Oh Keep :( big, big hugs!

In all honesty for me it's only slightly got easier with time. It's still very hard to put on my smiley face for them even though inside i'm hurting. We're actually seeing them tonight which was a date organised months ago, luckily there'll be another couple there too. But can I say don't hate yourself for feeling that way, it's natural to feel that way when the one thing you've been struggling for has come so easily for someone else. Trust in the fact that it will happen for you, I think that's what's got me through so far. You've got 3 great chances of iui and you could very well be telling her in a few weeks time that you're pregnant too! Concentrate on yourself and DH at the moment, cry about it, get angry about it and let it out your system and then you can hopefully move on from it.

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

Oh keep you poor love. You have every right to feel angry and frustrated, it is so unfair that some find it so easy while we have to struggle. Please don't feel bad for feeling as you do. I am sure you are right in that she has probably tried to be as sensitive as she can, waiting til DH was back, but even if there were discussions about how and when to break it to you I am sure it was all done with the best of intentions to try and make a very difficult conversation easy on you. Unfortunately, when you are struggling to TTC, there is no easy way for others to tell us they are pregnant. It will hurt. Just take all the time you need, don't worry about how you are feeling because you have every right to those feelings. It is a form of grief that you are going through. But we are always here for hand holding and listening. At least you have some wonderful things lined up, you are already in your first IUI cycle and that BFP will be yours my lovely xx

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

[keepJinglingThoseBells]

Thanks everyone xxx at least it meant we didn't go out with work people who were getting drunk last night...

solars good luck for tonight. Hope you manage the required amount of pg-related chat then can move swiftly on. I think it'll be worse once the bumps there, as I can't stop staring...

[SparklySanta]

Oh keep there's no right or wrong way to handle news like that, and it's so conflicting!! But try to be good to yourself, take it easy!

[keepJinglingThoseBells]

PS I voted smegs too, and they're joint top again!

[SantasLittleControlGeek]

Deffo a minimum of second place for our smeggs (just two votes in it now)

Cmon brookers, we can do this

[SparklySanta]

I haven't voted yet, when's my deadline? I need to get on a computer cus my phone doesn't like it!!!