I was reminded 'Well at least you've already got a child' today, took the wind out of my sails.......

[Norfolkbumpkin]

I was chatting with a friend today about out problems conceiving, and in a friendly/sympathetic tone she stated the immortal lines......I honestly thought it was an urban myth that people said 'well at least you've already got a child'. It just knocked me for six and I was totally lost for a response. How are you supposed to react/follow on from this statement?? I felt (and still feel) a bit miffed.

Bugger, my post was aimed at the OP but I forgot to put that!

Nancy what your 'friend' said to you was truly terrible and pretty much unforgiveable.

I experienced fertility problems before having DS (to the extent that when I rang my consultant to say I was actually pregnant he very gently told me that wasn't possible and I must be mistaken) and have had 2 miscarriages since I had him.

I don't think the pain can be quantified. I repress the pain of knowing that we are probably never going to have another child by thinking of the sheer wonder of our son. But before I had a child, I didn't have a beautiful 3 year old begging me for a little brother or sister, because all his cousins of the same age now have brothers or sisters and he simply cannot understand that it isn't as simple as wanting one. It's a bit like being stabbed in the heart.